gains of giving up

[Undertoad]

a very depressing shorter period, leading to a very brutal separation, followed by a rageful month of mutual exchange of legal threats, excessive anger and humiliations

She sounds delightful! What's not to like?

They say that each and every one of us has the perfect soul mate somewhere in the world. Of course they say it because it's sentimental treacle, but if it was the case, this broad was so not yours.

I forget if we got this part of the story, but where's the biological dad of the boy? Does she have any relationship with that guy?

[it]

Originally Posted by Undertoad

She sounds delightful! What's not to like?

They say that each and every one of us has the perfect soul mate somewhere in the world. Of course they say it because it's sentimental treacle, but if it was the case, this broad was so not yours.

why not?
edit: i should add that i am not trying to argue as much as understand, since any reason to think she is not the one for me would be freaking awesome in helping me give up on her.

the way i see it, i could have avoided most of the destructive cycles within that depressing period if i had the wisdom at the time, which i could have gained easily if it was a normal relationship without an unfinished immigration process, where one could, if needs be, get some breathing space to clear the head, whether its the occasional weekend camping trip, or if needs be - moving out for awhile. but not having my own financial independence due to the slow immigration process left me without those.

as for the brutality of the end - we are both 'means justify the ends' sort of people, whether its love, anger or practical goals, its always being a common ground. and in the rageful month that followed - she did most but not all of the threatening and i've done most but not all of the humiliating.

so.. yes, we both suck as people :p

Originally Posted by Undertoad

I forget if we got this part of the story, but where's the biological dad of the boy? Does she have any relationship with that guy?

the story is that he left her midst pregnancy, changing his mind when it was too late.
ofcourse i can't really know what else happened there other then what she told me.
there was no contact with him since.