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#1 | |
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This easily can be a problem with authority in the US with some kids, not a core one, but must add to the issue on some subconscious level; any hypocrisy does. Fortunately for me, I will tell my son that being for the death penalty and "moral" is just that IMO, explain why I feel that way, so there will be no issue in our home. Pierce, I think you are grossly underestimating kid's ability to think for themselves. As a teacher for years, there are ages where they will behave erratically because of what their peers are doing (5th - 8th grades estimated), but if their core teachings and personality does not jive with that they will not be part of the central group and will grow out of it. I was part of that and also saw it over-&-over-&-over again. Many times encouraging kids to stop being tag-alongs. Kids are just small people, they make decisions for the same reasons we do. IMO, adults are more influenced by group-think than kids ever were. Just because people who were spanked are not outwardly, physically, aggressive does not mean they are not aggressive and harmful in other ways, at least for a time while they learn to deal with the resentment of being hit by their loved ones. Passive aggressive behavior is more damaging and as "violent", even more so & far more long lasting, than any beating can be. The studies I posted clearly stated that there are lasting effects. Last edited by rkzenrage; 07-24-2007 at 10:56 AM. |
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#2 | |
Franklin Pierce
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 3,695
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It obviously isn't impossible nowadays for an adult and a kid to have that teacher-pupil-friend relationship but I very rarely see it. |
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#3 | |
in a mood, not cupcake
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 3,034
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#4 |
Banned - Self Imposed
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,847
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I'm not so sure I agree with that part rk - Kids don't have the intelligence, wisdom nor experience that adults have when it comes to decisionmaking - not that spanking will help, but I do not think children can think of all the ramifications or consequences associated with their actions.
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#5 | |
Franklin Pierce
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 3,695
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When a kid is under 10 then the decisions are usually much different but I think rkzenrage was talking about middle and high schoolers, which, scientifically supported, have the same thought process of adults. It is just that adults have much more experienced and know when to hold back and when not too. The theory of cognitive development states that once a child reaches the age of 11-15, they will reach the highest possible cognitive stage, formal operation stage, and will remain in that stage throughout adulthood. Once a person reaches the formal operation stage they technically have reached their full potential in reasoning, and then they will just gain experience and become wiser with choices. There are other variables like moral development and that but this is more or less the base for social and non-social reasoning in humans. Theory of Cognitive Development: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_development http://evolution.massey.ac.nz/assign2/MH/webpage.htm |
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#6 |
Banned - Self Imposed
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,847
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#7 | ||||
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I don't many adults that made decisions well. Per an earlier statement, authority figures should not be friends. Quote:
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Not the same as lay language, it means it has been shown to be true under multiple circumstances and by more than one scientist (peer review). Gravity is "just a theory". Quote:
Fact. |
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#8 | |
Banned - Self Imposed
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,847
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After/while still parenting 3 teenagers, if there is one absolute, it is that NOTHING is true for ALL kids. Not even close to a fact. I have to treat all my children differently, they are all individuals with different life experiences. They are NOT ALL the same - not even close. While coaching 100's of children from 7 to 15 I find that they respond differently as well. Thats the beauty of it all - we are all different. |
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#9 | ||
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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I subscribe to the Dr Phil school... he comes on, the TV goes off.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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#10 | |
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
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#11 |
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Who said the "most horrible"? Was not me.
Keep in mind, I have stated clearly and unequivocally that telling kids that if they sin they are going to hell to suffer for all eternity is child abuse. |
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#12 |
I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
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Kids respect purple hair. I've found.
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
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#13 |
...
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 8,360
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the punishments I most resented were not spankings. Those were over and done with, but other, more creative punishments . . . those lingered and festered.
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"Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!" |
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#14 |
trying hard to be a better person
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 16,493
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The theory of cognitive developement also clearly states that before you reach each stage of developement you must go through certain trials. That is, there are challenges with each stage and if you don't actually have those challenges, then your cognitive development can be retarded somewhat.
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Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber |
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#15 |
still says videotape
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
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and it is just a theory...
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If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis |
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