Humor...I Need Humor... - Page 259

Gravdigr · 05-06-2011, 04:12 PM

True story:

At a dinner at a friend's house, I overheard his wife say, and I quote:

Quote:

I don't like them big ten inch ones, they won't fit in my little old thing.

She was talking about tortillas. She has a quesadilla-maker.

ETA: I almost told her to spit on it...

GunMaster357 · 05-09-2011, 07:54 AM

I came across the following joke but I fail to see where it is funny :

Quote:

What is the noisiest thing in the world?
Two skeletons screwing on a tin roof.

If at all possible, can someone give me an explanation?

Since I don't get it, I hope it shouldn't be in the TASTELESS thread...

footfootfoot · 05-09-2011, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GunMaster357

I came across the following joke but I fail to see where it is funny :
If at all possible, can someone give me an explanation?

Since I don't get it, I hope it shouldn't be in the TASTELESS thread...

Temporarily suspending disbelief at two skeletons being animated and screwing, imagine the racket that dumping a bag of bones on a tin roof would cause. That's the whole thing.

GunMaster357 · 05-09-2011, 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

Temporarily suspending disbelief at two skeletons being animated and screwing, imagine the racket that dumping a bag of bones on a tin roof would cause. That's the whole thing.

I still don't see it as funny. It's lame.

footfootfoot · 05-09-2011, 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GunMaster357

I still don't see it as funny. It's lame.

Neither do I, it is lame.

infinite monkey · 05-09-2011, 08:56 AM

Johnny Fuckerfaster.

No, it's not word ass. That's lame.

Big Sarge · 05-09-2011, 08:22 AM

So true

infinite monkey · 05-09-2011, 08:22 AM

And that's when he farted.

footfootfoot · 05-09-2011, 09:31 AM

What's the cleanest shop in Pyongyang?

The Butcher shop.

BigV · 05-11-2011, 11:26 AM

How do you get an 80 year old church lady to yell "FUCK!"?

Get another 80 year old church lady sitting right next to her to yell "BINGO!"

GunMaster357 · 05-16-2011, 07:13 AM

THe other day, I was walking down the street when I saw a guy coming out of a well known brothel. Just as he started to walk, he crossed himself.

Out of curiosity, I went to him asking "Mister, you just made the sign of the Cross. Do you feel guilty about what you did where you were ?"

"Not at all" was he answered "I was just checking myself"

"My hat" touching his head
"My zipper" touching his crotch
"My wallet" left chest pocket
"My glasses" right chest pocket

classicman · 05-16-2011, 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GunMaster357

The other day, I was walking down the street when I saw a guy coming out of a well known brothel. Just as he started to walk, he crossed himself.

Out of curiosity, I went to him asking "Mister, you just made the sign of the Cross. Do you feel guilty about what you did where you were ?"

"Not at all" was he answered "I was just checking myself"

"My hat" touching his head
"My zipper" touching his crotch
"My wallet" left chest pocket
"My glasses" right chest pocket

I learned it as
Spectacles
Testicles
Watch
Wallet.

Clodfobble · 05-16-2011, 07:20 AM

That's not a joke, that's really how I learned it as a kid (for a play in which all characters were Catholics, not because I was one myself

.)

"Spectacles, testicles, watch, wallet."

BigV · 05-16-2011, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

That's not a joke, that's really how I learned it as a kid (for a play in which all characters were Catholics, not because I was one myself

.)

"Spectacles, testicles, watch, wallet."

curious, Clod...

just exactly where do you reach to check your testicles...?

plthijinx · 05-16-2011, 09:06 AM

Or the priest and rabbi on the jet that had engine trouble...
Spectacles
Testicals
Money
And cigars

05-09-2011, 08:22 AM	#7
Big Sarge Werepandas - lurking in your shadows Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the Deep South Posts: 3,408	So true Attached Images __________________ Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

05-09-2011, 09:31 AM	#9
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	What's the cleanest shop in Pyongyang? The Butcher shop. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

05-11-2011, 11:26 AM	#10
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	How do you get an 80 year old church lady to yell "FUCK!"? Get another 80 year old church lady sitting right next to her to yell "BINGO!" __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

05-16-2011, 07:13 AM	#11
GunMaster357 Professor Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Brest (FRANCE) Posts: 1,837	THe other day, I was walking down the street when I saw a guy coming out of a well known brothel. Just as he started to walk, he crossed himself. Out of curiosity, I went to him asking "Mister, you just made the sign of the Cross. Do you feel guilty about what you did where you were ?" "Not at all" was he answered "I was just checking myself" "My hat" touching his head "My zipper" touching his crotch "My wallet" left chest pocket "My glasses" right chest pocket __________________ "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

05-16-2011, 07:20 AM	#13
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	That's not a joke, that's really how I learned it as a kid (for a play in which all characters were Catholics, not because I was one myself .) "Spectacles, testicles, watch, wallet." __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

05-09-2011, 08:56 AM	#6
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Johnny Fuckerfaster. No, it's not word ass. That's lame.

05-16-2011, 09:06 AM	#15
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	Or the priest and rabbi on the jet that had engine trouble... Spectacles Testicals Money And cigars __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

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