About Abuse

[skysidhe]

It's just that the poster is asking for a certain amount of trust from the voters, that he or she is not giving. He or she wants to know how others feel without putting there feelings out there.
People like to know who they are responding to, especially when it's about a member of this forum.

I know some people fit in all categories. I just don't know who, or care to know who. I do care about the feelings of others and I like to play with sharp sticks.


That said,
It just felt wrong, so I couldn't vote. Plus, like I said, I've said it all enough anyway. No secret there.

[jimhelm]

the thing that bothers me most is this:

Lots of us have had enough.

which is saying that there has been some kind of meeting or consensus in which some imaginary group of clan elders has judged you wanting.

i give ali and sky props for actually having bawls enough to state their positions. right or wrong, they are doing it right. anon is not.

[Cloud]

okay, look. I don't like to single out individual posters and I have not voted. I don't think it's productive or fair. Some people were saying some things about me the other day which were also not fair. Oh well. I am not anon, btw. Someone noticed and stuck up for me--turns out I have friends here, after all.

If you're gonna be nice, be nice. Otherwise, fuck off. (shrugs)

[skysidhe]

I didn't realize my position needed stating, thus the lack of a vote. I didn't know there was a posse. I wish people would speak up at the time something bothersome is happening.

This is like sending anonymous hate mail. It just isn't MY style.

I am not anon either.

[anonymous]

I posted this thread anonymously because I was afraid of being abused further by the previously mentioned posters.

It wasn't my intention to hide as such. I simply thought it would be better if everyone just voted.

I only want monster to stop hurting people who don't deserve it, and I'd like shawnee to stop joining in (as if monster needs anyone to help her anyway). She just wont let things go. She can't have her say and shut up. She then follows the poster around and makes fun of everything they post till she finds another victim. It's not fair and it's not right.

Sorry to have offended anyone.

[skysidhe]

Originally Posted by anonymous

She just wont let things go. She can't have her say and shut up. She then follows the poster around and makes fun of everything they post till she finds another victim. It's not fair and it's not right.

No, it isn't right but you should just tell her.

I am confused about who the previous mentioned posters would be?

You mean abuse by not liking the vote with anon, vote with the masked person idea

Look, there is standing with someone or for a principle and then there is wanting others to get their hands dirty, at their expense, for your own gain.

now, I'm going to bed

[Ibby]

I think there are a lot of posters here who frequently go too far. The Cellar has a bit of a tradition, at least in the few years i've been here, of being rather... well, bitchy and prickly, but it was a good-natured sort of prickly. I don't wanna name names or give examples, but I think the cellar has its own culture of good-natured prickliness. I know I personally, outside the cellar, have a similar good-naturedly prickly personality. But I think, especially lately, things have often escalated too far, and there are posters here - many of them - who frequently escalate things too far.

but i wouldn't have ever singled monster out as one of them. Or Ali, or Cloud, or Shaw, or Infinite Monkey, or Jim, or, well, a lot of other frequent posters. I'm not really going to weigh in on whether or not it's a valid concern - i've been absent for a long while - and this also isn't the time or the place to single out the dwellars whose behavior concerns me the most. But... aside from concerns i've previously recently raised about my own concerns about what has changed about the cellar recently, I think the culture of the cellar has also gotten... more entrenched. I used to hear a lot of talk about the Cellar as being like a coffee shop, and the attitude towards the community being like, if not a coffee shop, a bar (or group of people at a bar), where the banhammer comes out in cases where, metaphorically, people come in with no concern for the other patrons or the establishment and run amok. but lately, i feel like it's become less like the "coffee shop" metaphor that was, last i checked, the guiding metaphor for the cellar's operation, and more... just, groups of warring factions, taking it all personally. None of the posters I've recently heard being accused the most of this sort of thing are ones i've noticed, myself, going beyond reasonability - EXCEPT in the widespread cases of longstanding vendettas carrying over from thread to thread.

I think a LOT of people here could all stand to cool off, back off, adopt more of an attitude that promotes the "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to offend, i wasn't trying to be personal" mindset that builds the close-knit, "coffee-shop" attitude of, even when there's mutual dislike and distrust and hurt, putting the community first, and trying to avoid conflict instead of trade blows and perpetuate it.


all too often, I find that lately, the attitude is "fuck you, i can post whatever i want, i don't care what you think of it, fuck off if you dont like it, it's a free forum and a free country and it's my right to post whatever I want." I'm not going to say that any of that isn't true. But i think that the right to be an asshole sometimes (or all the time) should not come ahead of the responsibility to the community to be both polite and respectful in a wider sense (if not always on a conversation-by-conversation basis).

Basically, I think a long series of back-and-forths, whoever started it or whoever's to blame or whoever's the most guilty, has set into motion an altogether unhealthy atmosphere for the Cellar to have. I can remember when, for example, rkzenrage was banned, it was because he consistently and unapologetically violated the sort of social contract that the Cellar operated under. I feel like we're losing more and more of that sense of collective agreement and social contract and community. And threads like this only fan the flames.

[Bullitt]

Very good reference to rkzenrage. Agreed.

[sexobon]

You take the monster, you take the monkey
You take the good, you take the bad,
you take them both and there you see
you take them both and there you have
The Cellar strife, the Cellar strife.
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

There's a time you got to go and show
There's a time you got to go and show
You're pollin' now you know about
You're growin' now you know about
The Cellar strife, the Cellar strife
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

When the Cellar never seems
When the world never seems
to be livin' up to your dreams
to be livin' up to your dreams
And suddenly you're finding out
And suddenly you're finding out
the Cellar strife is all about you, you.
the Facts of Life are all about you, you

It takes a lot to get it right
It takes a lot to get 'em right
When your're learning 'bout Cellar strife.
When you're learning the facts of life.
(learning 'bout Cellar strife).
(learning the facts of life)

[DanaC]

What more needs to be said?

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

What's the difference between this and the 'self policing' thread?

I think there's a significant difference, aside from the anonymity angle. The self-policing thread was about a number of combatants and the effect their combat was starting to have. This thread is about a single side in a conflict.

Whilst I sympathise with the OP for feeling bullied, I cannot help but think that this thread is no more than an attempt to redirect the Cellar's energies into bullying someone else.


This is a community, but it is also an open forum on the internet. Robust exchanges, and sporadic feuding is the norm. We all lock onto things in the Cellar. When I return to see what's new in the forums I am particularly scanning for threads I have been involved in. If the same is true during a bout of 'feuding' it can seem like stalking. Added to that is the constant temptation in forum communication to go for the laugh and the jugula in equal measure. We all do it sometimes, I suspect. It is more than possible for someone to 'accidentally' bully another in text.

Which is one very good reason for having moderators.

If any dwellar genuinely feels they are being bullied or intimidated by another dwellar, we have moderators who can be contacted. A couple of PMs between 'bullied' and moderator, and then a couple of PMs between moderator and 'bully' should be enough, in most instances to cool things down. Chances are the 'bully' has no idea that some of their words have hit hard.

[infinite monkey]

You are not the first person who has been put off by my sarcastic and often acidic sense of humor. It isn't for everyone.

As to being followed around and poked at ffs I get that a lot from a dwellar who.
, if you paid the slightest attention to the community you so fear for, would see that cycle that is always ignored. That is fine with me because I can fight for myself. This supposed disappointment of yours comes to light because...why? I suspect a hit nerve.

For the record I speak up for monster because she has shown kindnesses to me that I don't always deserve. She chooses to see the bigger picture that is me. It's called friendship.

[infinite monkey]

Posting in chunks because I'm using my phone.

Also, I believe in honest relationships. Pretending to be who someone wants one to be to gain favor is a sad way to live one's life.

There is a small faction who can understand that, and who know a little bit about my heart. Those people keep me coming back. To your chagrin, apparently.

[infinite monkey]

Lastly I find it intricately more trollish, disruptive, and insecure to post this as part of an anonymous colective (not to be confused with the other collective) anonymously portraying some sort of virtual lynch mob. You and your posse should each post your grievances here as youselves. Helpful discussion might ensue. Or I may tell you to go fuck yourselves.

Then we can dance around the Festivus pole.

Oh, and, if you cut me do I not bleed? You might consider that as you judg from your perch.

[skysidhe]

I am not a part of any collective. This is about the roman (singular) telling would be gladiators, that he/she has their back.

We know how that went down.

Lastly, I am glad this thread didn't piss you off too much I.M. Aside from the rolling emotions, at times, we all have them. I think underneath, you have really big good heart and a good soul.