Kid's sports - Revenge of the Coaches

[lookout123]

Steve I understand what you're saying. Some people place too much emphasis on winning or being the best at all costs when it comes to their kids' sports. That makes sense though. Think about it, these people don't hide in the basement only to come out and scream and yell on saturday. You live with them everyday - they're the weaksuck coworker who fails at everything. They're the psychopath department head who will grind his people into dust then sell them down the river if there is a chance for a promotion. They're the chest pounding men who grunt and have to point at pictures on menus, only to be completely whipped and under the thumb at home. They're...

Get the point? Even if you don't put your kids in sports they will still see these people eventually - probably when they're doing their kids science fair project. It is good to let your kids see them early on. Teach them the difference between good competitive urges and misdirected aggression. Sports is a nice low threat way to teach your kids how to navigate the minefields of idiocy they will encounter throughout their lives.

IMO

[Flint]

Originally Posted by lookout123

Sports is a nice low threat way to teach your kids how to navigate the minefields of idiocy they will encounter throughout their lives.

You heard it here first: sports are composed of highly concentrated asshattery. I always suspected as much!

But seriously:

Originally Posted by smoothmoniker

Sports are important.

They are a constructed environment that is artificially fair, in a way that doesn't exist in the real world; everyone steps onto the same field and abides by the same rules. Within that context, they become a celebration of the best aspects of human nature - perseverance, strategy, self-sacrifice, honor, determination.

You can't understand the importance of sports until you've seen a mathematically eliminated baseball team in the middle of a sweltering August day game, and the middle infielder still runs flat out and dives to catch a fly ball. There is something in that action that is importantly human, and it fitting that we respect and celebrate it.

Physical ability is an exciting part of the game, but those moments where I think sports are at their best, it's when the physical underdog wins out by virtue of their heart and determination. At those times, we see something of the people we would like to be played out by those playing on the field.

[SteveDallas]

Hmmm.. Maybe. I'm not so sure. (But I can't explain why.)

Thanks for pointing out my misteak, HLJ.

[lookout123]

Tonight was the first practice for the new(ish) team. The roster is still in limbo. At last update on monday I was to have my 6 returning players and 5 brand new players I knew nothing about. I showed up tonight to find out that two of the five players were rumored to be really really strong players so they were removed from my team. Then I was notified that a brother sister pair I'd never heard of were registered over the phone and had requested my team. Then they were promptly removed when someone else said they were solid players from another club.

As I stood there rolling my eyes with clear and outspoken distaste for this bullshit the story just kept going. I'd gone from 12/13 players last wednesday to 11 on Monday, to apparently 8 tonight. They'd added a boy whose father requested my team for carpooling purposes and a girl no one has heard of. Whatever. Give me the fucking roster and let me play with the kids.

The new girl didn't show up. The new boy has good potential but it is obvious that his previous coach's idea of strategy was to give the boy the ball and have him bulldoze through the opposition over and over. The new kid will come along nicely throughout the session as the other kids do most of the work of molding him to the way we play. I ran my kids through their drills in our quiet little corner of the field. First dummyball in a box for warm ups, then 1 on 6 keepaway, then a dribble/pass drill, followed by red light green light for close control, as always a small side scrimmage to wrap up the evening. My kids know what we're doing and get down to business. No cartwheels, no tag, no pattycakes. Soccer. Foot on the ball, ball on the ground soccer. Pass and move, pass and move.

I was happy with what I saw right up until the point that I saw the new coach backslapping the director and watching my kids. I smelled bullshit coming my way. Sure enough they think they're going to have to pull the new kid from my team because my team is just too strong with a strong player like him.

WTF? The kids isn't even that good. He's quick. He's aggressive, but he's got no skill. The stupid fuckers mistake my relaxed but orderly practice routine for having a team of stars. A team full of stars that no one wanted for their own team a week ago if you remember. Give me a break. I tell the kids what I want. I show them what I want. I handicap/challenge each player differently as needed for drills and scrimmages. I keep things fun and competitive but don't allow horseplay and silliness during practice. Kids stay involved and interested - duh!?!

Meanwhile, it has come to light, the new coach who was trying to raid my team of my two good players and did get one of them... yeah, five of his players came as a unit from another club but conveniently didn't make it to evals. But it seems like my new kid is needed to round out his team. WTF? Take the kid, I don't care honestly, but what are you going to replace him with? A garden slug? And if the slug manages to score will he also be taken away or should we just pour salt on him until he stops?

I'm this -------><-------- damn close to being done with the developmental/rec program and just going over to the competitive/club side where the fucking GOAL is to take a stable group of kids and make them a winning unit for a year at a time. I'm tempted. There are 5 kids that I personally feel could/should have been invited into the program after tryouts but were deemed to be surplus. I can take them, Lil Lookout, K, B, and C and make a pretty damn good club team if I can track down two players versatile enough to play goal at the club level. Not as good as Lil Lookout's current team but good enough to give them a run. I think by winter tournament time the teams would be equal because there are a couple of kids still included on the other team due to loyalty rather than skill. (Which is good - the loyalty is to be commended) The club manager would be upset at losing K and Lil Lookout, but he would get over it when he realized I just increased his income by the amount of training fees X 8 while I do all the work.

Eh, whatever. We'll see what Saturday brings.

[Kingswood]

Turnabout is fair play. Especially when it is to expose a technical breach of the rules. Those five kids that somehow didn't get put into the pool with the others? Lobby to have them pulled from that team. All of them. And distribute them among the other teams.

It seems that you are being made to follow the rules to the letter, but others are not. Do not tolerate it. Either make them abide by the rules as well, or use the lax rules to make sure you can field a full side. Soccer is played by teams of 11, and typically has a few reserves as well. If the other teams have players to spare, and your team is short on players, surely there's no harm in doing a bit of "recruiting" to ensure you can field a side on match day.

The management of this league also leaves a lot to be desired. Rules should apply to everyone, and not those who have not had the opportunity to mutter in the director's ear recently.

[SteveDallas]

Tell 'em to go take a flying leap and leave. They'll continue to move the bar until you start losing. Once that happens, they'll say that you only ever won because your team was stacked, and congratulate themselves for uncovering your duplicity.

[xoxoxoBruce]

They'll say the same if you leave, so fuck 'em... do what's right for you and the kids.

[lookout123]

Soccer is played by teams of 11

Not at this age. Small side games mean more touches, greater development. We play 6 + keeper so I have a full team. I'm not worried about fielding a team, I'm just tired of hearing BS about team parity. Parity is one thing, purposeful handicapping is another.

I won't pull the BS with his 5 kids either. I'd much rather get my kids in a position to just beat his. Back to the drawing board I go.

[classicman]

And I have no doubt that you will! The next argument will be that they are handicapped by playing more kids and each child having less time with the ball. Hence, you kids will gain more experience faster by getting more playing time. (been here done this) You will be better than they are no matter what happens because you care more about your kids and they more about winning.
Just do your thing dude! In 3,5 or 10 years all your kids will remember "cool coach lookout" The best one they ever had! All the other coaches will still be bitchin and tryin to get their kids onto a stacked team to fulfill their own obvious inadequacies.

[lookout123]

I found myself grumbling and moaning about this bullshit last night about 11 as I was finishing up a project for work and it finally hit me like a brick. I've been bitching and blaming the other coaches, director, and parents for taking the joy out of this hobby of mine. How stupid is that? They don't have the ability to irritate me or steal my joy - I have the ability to become irritated and not enjoy something. It is up to me to live my life, make my choices, and maintain my attitudes. The responsibility is all mine, kudos and blame belong to me equally. It is my choice/fault if I become involved in petty pissing matches. This is a premise that I strive to live by all the time but I've been ignoring it in this area. Not anymore.

Well, as of right now I have removed my head from my ass (at least on this issue) and am moving forward. I coach because I love the game. I coach because I love kids. I coach because I want these kids to love the game as much as I do. I firmly believe that kids who are passionate about a hobby or skill are happier, healthier, and less likely to get into serious trouble in their teen years. My goal is to spark and nurture a passion for the game in as many kids as I can while I can.

We will not win all of our games this session but we will approach each game with enthusiasm. We will play hard. We will treat our opponents with respect. We will have fun.

Game on.

[classicman]

Atta boy! Hey "other teams" . . . LOOK-thefuck-OUT!

[Tree Fae]

Wow things have really changed since my son played soccer. Once the kids were placed on a team they stayed on that team unless they chose to leave.

I coached his team one season when there was no one else to do so, it was quite the learning experience. We actually did fairly well as we had most of the team returning. I was given decent training to top off the fact I had been working for several years with the other coach.

It was at this point that the teams were going to "premier teams" and I saw some of the bullshit your experiencing. My son takes after me therefore is very small . He is only 5'6" as an adult. Back then he was much smaller than the other boys even though he was a year older than a lot of them in his grade. He was passed over by the premier teams just on that factor even though he could outrun most of the boys 2 or 3 years older than him. All people see is the need to win, doesn't matter what they are saying to the kids.

I am sure you will succeed with what ever team you work with, because you care about each individual . Whether you win or lose, your still winners.

[Kingswood]

Originally Posted by lookout123

I coach because I love the game. I coach because I love kids. I coach because I want these kids to love the game as much as I do.

Also, you coach because you are good at coaching.

You don't really need to take my advice. Just do as you see fit and all will turn out well. Best of luck with the team this weekend.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Lookout, Sark needs you.

[Sundae]

Lookout, you might have moaned in this one thread, but to me what has always come across is your intention to make the experience as possible as possible for the children you are coaching.

If you've recognised that other people's opinions were affecting your enjoyment and have decided not to let them then you have my complete respect. But never doubt that you have set many young people a great example regardless of how you felt inside.

The other night in the pub there were only three customers by 22.00. I was hoping they would bugger off as I might get to go home early. Then they started talking about the teachers, youth group workers, coaches and priests who they respected and who had helped them 30-50 years ago. I was almost disappointed when John said I could go as soon as I'd washed the drip trays! I think every adult can remember an adult they looked up to and respected when they were a child. The world needs people like you.

Glad you've decided to enjoy it again.