Kids and the Internet

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

Why should I not expect things to continue in the same way? Why should I expect my kids to all of a sudden become secretive and deceptive? .

Great, come back in about 8 years and let us all know how it turned out.

My mother was my best friend.

Great, glad it worked out for you. That is not the norm. You cannot be your childs best friend and be an effective parent. I stand by that statement.

[Aliantha]

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

Great, come back in about 8 years and let us all know how it turned out.
Great, glad it worked out for you. That is not the norm. You cannot be your childs best friend and be an effective parent. I stand by that statement.

If I'm still posting here in 8yrs time I'll be surprised.

I never said it was the norm for parents to be their childrens best friend. I only said mine was. Are you suggesting my mother was not an effective parent?

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

Are you suggesting my mother was not an effective parent?

Not at all.

I am saying that parents who try to be their kids best friends are less effective as parents [b]IMHO[/].

[Stormieweather]

I have kids ranging in age from 24 yrs old to 22 months. I've found that they will live up to or down to the level of your expectations of them. Give them trust and expect them to live up to it and they almost always will. Expect them to be rotten, lying monsters and that's pretty much what you'll get.

In my house, we don't call anyone derrogatory names. Fag, nigger, bitch, asshole, jerk, butthead or pig (yeah Alec, even pig) are not heard from my family. I've taught my kids that in order to receive respect, they must also offer it. Might does NOT make right. And insults are usually attempts to prop up a weak or nonexistant arguement.

Stormie

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Stormieweather

In my house, we don't call anyone derrogatory names. Fag, nigger, bitch, asshole, jerk, butthead or pig (yeah Alec, even pig) are not heard from my family. I've taught my kids that in order to receive respect, they must also offer it. Might does NOT make right. Stormie

We do the same. Other than the normal bickering that goes on in all families, and some minor name calling does occur. You do have bickering in your family don't you?

[Stormieweather]

Of course.

But without namecalling.

If one of them tries to resort to bad-mouthing the other during the course of the bickering, I will usually shake my head at them and comment...........'weeeeeak!!, try that again using some REAL logic this time'.

Our bickering sounds more like a political debate since I've taught them that personal attacks are NOT ok and do nothing to strengthen your position.

Stormie

[godsandmen]

I'm new here, and I admit I didn't read through this whole thread, so forgive me if it turns out I'm echoing something that's already been said.

I have two kids. My son is 19 now and my daughter will be 17 next month. I have always been a gentle, loving, respectful parent to them. It has always been my philosophy to trust my kids unless I have some reason to believe that they are untrustworthy. I have never put restrictions on their internet use, and have not looked over their shoulders at what they're doing, checked their history palettes, or whatever. I do occasionally view my daughter's blog, but not for the purpose of checking up on her. Rather I do it to see what she had written in order to give me deeper insight into what's going on in her life and her thoughts.

If you were to ask them, they would tell you that they cannot recall a single time in their entire lives that I have ever yelled at them in anger. Both of them have turned out to be wonderful people, with big hearts and good heads on thier shoulders. They tell me often how much they appreciate the fact that I trust them, and communicate with them without talking down at them or taking an "I'm the adult, you're the child - you'll do what I say" approach.

My ex-wife has always been the opposite. As a result of our contrasting parenting approach, my kids know that they can talk to me about anything at all, and I won't fly off the handle at them. They tell me many things that they would never dream of telling their mother, and they often tell me that when and if they ever have kids, they will pattern their parenting philosophy after mine.

I consider that a success. See, if not a total failure