The Double-Standard Rant - Page 4

glatt · 12-04-2006, 09:17 AM

There are two fair solutions to the toilet question. The best answer is to put the lid down. That's what it's for. The second best, but equally fair solution is to take care of business and then walk away without doing anything to the seat. Statistically speaking, everyone will be inconvenienced the same that way. When the guy walks up to the toilet after the woman has gone, he will have to lift the seat. When the woman walks up after the guy, she will have to lower the seat. Sometimes the guy will be sitting, and the woman won't have to do anything. It all evens out.

But you should really close the lid. Especially if you have kids in the house.

morethanpretty · 12-07-2006, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

But you should really close the lid. Especially if you have kids in the house.

Or if you have cat like ours.

Undertoad · 12-04-2006, 09:36 AM

Ah, but -- if shit molecules settle on nearby surfaces, then closing the lid will expose one to more than twice as many shit molecule encounters.

Your method two, each puts the seat into whatever configuration they need, one has a 50-50 chance of touching one "area", the seat.

Your method one, one must always lift the lid, 100%, and then men must also lift the seat an increased number of times. One must also close the lid thus encountering another shit molecule event. Unfair to all, but even more unfair to men.

Method three, therefore: the lid is always down, but the men pee in the sink. This, all should agree, is the most equitable arrangement.

Shawnee123 · 12-04-2006, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

Ah, but -- if shit molecules settle on nearby surfaces, then closing the lid will expose one to more than twice as many shit molecule encounters.

Your method two, each puts the seat into whatever configuration they need, one has a 50-50 chance of touching one "area", the seat.

Your method one, one must always lift the lid, 100%, and then men must also lift the seat an increased number of times. One must also close the lid thus encountering another shit molecule event. Unfair to all, but even more unfair to men.

Method three, therefore: the lid is always down, but the men pee in the sink. This, all should agree, is the most equitable arrangement.

As far as I know, neither me nor any of my significant others tended to spray shit molecules all over outside toilet surfaces. :p

Anyway, ladies, just have yellow carpet installed in the bathroom since seat up or seat down they can't hit the damn hole anyway.

SteveDallas · 12-04-2006, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

Method three, therefore: the lid is always down, but the men pee in the sink. This, all should agree, is the most equitable arrangement.

I thought it was the shower.

I'll never get all this stuff straight.....

Spexxvet · 12-04-2006, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

Ah, but -- if shit molecules settle on nearby surfaces, then closing the lid will expose one to more than twice as many shit molecule encounters.

Your method two, each puts the seat into whatever configuration they need, one has a 50-50 chance of touching one "area", the seat.

Your method one, one must always lift the lid, 100%, and then men must also lift the seat an increased number of times. One must also close the lid thus encountering another shit molecule event. Unfair to all, but even more unfair to men.

Method three, therefore: the lid is always down, but the men pee in the sink. This, all should agree, is the most equitable arrangement.

A urinal in every house!

Keeping the lid down keeps shit molecules in the shitter. If you flush with the lid up, the shit molecules get on your toothbrush and stuff - eewwwwww! So, if you want to leave the lid up, don't flush.

Iggy · 12-04-2006, 12:18 PM

Oh, and just so you know since we live in an apartment complex we have to walk two buildings over to take out the trash. If all I had to do was walk outside I would take the trash out myself and not bother him. But carrying it all that way isn't fun for me, and since I do 90% of the cleaning in the apartment taking out the trash became his chore to help out so I don't feel taken advantage of.

Flint · 12-04-2006, 01:41 PM

Not content with the status quo, Pelosi told her fellow Democrats that "there's going to be a lot of changes in the way we communicate" after the Congressional recess. According to Pelosi, deliberations on the House floor will be based on "total candor" about "what Congress is really feeling about individual pieces of legislation, the motives behind the voting, and the tone of the discussion." If she feels the talks have failed, Pelosi plans to alert the 434 other representatives of her displeasure by doing nothing for several weeks and then bursting into tears in the middle of House debates on agricultural subsidies.

xoxoxoBruce · 12-04-2006, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iggy

Oh, and just so you know since we live in an apartment complex we have to walk two buildings over to take out the trash. If all I had to do was walk outside I would take the trash out myself and not bother him. But carrying it all that way isn't fun for me, and since I do 90% of the cleaning in the apartment taking out the trash became his chore to help out so I don't feel taken advantage of.

Doen't matter how far....if he said he would, he should.

Shawnee123 · 12-04-2006, 02:56 PM

Quote:

If you flush with the lid up, the shit molecules get on your toothbrush and stuff

That's OK, I clean the toilet with my toothbrush anyway...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

My brother stopped by the other night and commented that you could tell a guy didn't live there because there was a pretty-fuzzy-toilet lid cozy...which men hate because I guess it causes the seat to fall down.

Spexxvet · 12-04-2006, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

That's OK, I clean the toilet with my toothbrush anyway...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

My brother stopped by the other night and commented that you could tell a guy didn't live there because there was a pretty-fuzzy-toilet lid cozy...which men hate because I guess it causes the seat to fall down.

Women should hate it more, cause it gets peeed on more.

Shawnee123 · 12-04-2006, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet

Women should hate it more, cause it gets peeed on more.

I can almost understand you (wonderful) dudes missing the toilet and hitting the floor, but now you're saying you hit the lid that's up too? Do you have any control of those things whatsoever? Is it like trying to hold onto a fire hose? Can you get some friends to help your aim?

12-04-2006, 04:26 PM

Fuzzy toilet lids are of the devil.

12-04-2006, 04:36 PM

Fuzzy lids do not stay up... they perform no function, other than negative ones, like looking stupid and slamming down..

12-04-2006, 06:59 PM

Yup, don't give him a chance to get distracted.

12-04-2006, 12:18 PM	#7
Iggy Back and ready to tart up the place Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 850	Oh, and just so you know since we live in an apartment complex we have to walk two buildings over to take out the trash. If all I had to do was walk outside I would take the trash out myself and not bother him. But carrying it all that way isn't fun for me, and since I do 90% of the cleaning in the apartment taking out the trash became his chore to help out so I don't feel taken advantage of. __________________ Chock-full of naughty goodness.

12-04-2006, 01:41 PM	#8
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	TheOnion: Not content with the status quo, Pelosi told her fellow Democrats that "there's going to be a lot of changes in the way we communicate" after the Congressional recess. According to Pelosi, deliberations on the House floor will be based on "total candor" about "what Congress is really feeling about individual pieces of legislation, the motives behind the voting, and the tone of the discussion." If she feels the talks have failed, Pelosi plans to alert the 434 other representatives of her displeasure by doing nothing for several weeks and then bursting into tears in the middle of House debates on agricultural subsidies. __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

12-04-2006, 09:17 AM	#1
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	There are two fair solutions to the toilet question. The best answer is to put the lid down. That's what it's for. The second best, but equally fair solution is to take care of business and then walk away without doing anything to the seat. Statistically speaking, everyone will be inconvenienced the same that way. When the guy walks up to the toilet after the woman has gone, he will have to lift the seat. When the woman walks up after the guy, she will have to lower the seat. Sometimes the guy will be sitting, and the woman won't have to do anything. It all evens out. But you should really close the lid. Especially if you have kids in the house.

12-04-2006, 09:36 AM	#3
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Ah, but -- if shit molecules settle on nearby surfaces, then closing the lid will expose one to more than twice as many shit molecule encounters. Your method two, each puts the seat into whatever configuration they need, one has a 50-50 chance of touching one "area", the seat. Your method one, one must always lift the lid, 100%, and then men must also lift the seat an increased number of times. One must also close the lid thus encountering another shit molecule event. Unfair to all, but even more unfair to men. Method three, therefore: the lid is always down, but the men pee in the sink. This, all should agree, is the most equitable arrangement.

12-04-2006, 04:26 PM	#13
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	Fuzzy toilet lids are of the devil.

12-04-2006, 04:36 PM	#14
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	Fuzzy lids do not stay up... they perform no function, other than negative ones, like looking stupid and slamming down..

12-04-2006, 06:59 PM	#15
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	Yup, don't give him a chance to get distracted.

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