Corrupted Wish - Page 5

plthijinx · 10-26-2005, 02:21 PM

granted. the chiefs now have 2 Larry Johnsons. the only problem is: their both Ghey and so into each other no one can get them to come out of the showers for any practices, let alone games.

i wish i had an ice cold heineken right now.

Pie · 10-26-2005, 02:44 PM

You have an ice-cold heineken -- thrown in your face by the attractive chick you just insulted at a bar. And her steroid-using boyfriend is coming over to see what the fuss is all about...

I wish my boss would see why his idea won't work.

darclauz · 10-26-2005, 02:47 PM

poof... you're in a dark bar, one hand outstretched to call for a heineken. you accidently hit a 300 pound guy with a shaved head and more tatoos than smart asses on this board. he grabs you, growls with fetid breath into your face, turns you over, rips your pants off, tears your underwear away while pounding you in the face with the table.

Then he grabs his unopened heineken...and gives it to you in yours.

I wish I was as creative as you guys.

mrnoodle · 10-26-2005, 02:59 PM

Pie's boss is darclauz. Upon realizing that his idea won't work, darclauz wishes for the creativity of everyone else on the cellar. He starts writing bad poetry, diatribes about politics and religion, and far more information about his sexual preferences than anyone ever asked to hear. However, the lumberjim-penned erotic fanfic about pie/darclauz quickly becomes an internet favorite, surpassing TiNP and IOTD in hitcount and garnering high marks from c|net. There is really no downside to any of this, other than LJ starts getting more spam than usual from a fisting site.

I wish I hadn't taken that cold medicine.

plthijinx · 10-26-2005, 03:03 PM

pie - your boss suddenly realizes that his idea won't work, blames you for it and fires you. all while writing up a huge change order for the client. the next thing you know you go for the World Record (SCF)

i wish that i were fishing right now.

scf on those last three guys!

Elspode · 10-26-2005, 03:17 PM

Zap! Plt is fishing, when suddenly a catfish of apocalyptic proportions leaps from the pond and swallows him whole. Sadly, it is only following his watery, smelly demise that the Astros win four straight to emerge victorious in the 2005 World Series.

I wish I had a Ritz.

plthijinx · 10-26-2005, 03:28 PM

POOF - here's your Ritz cracker, but on realizing you need something to top it with you go stir crazy and end up terrorizing a boutique

yeah. i WISH the astros could win just one world series game...

darclauz · 10-26-2005, 03:39 PM

The Astros take it home! The Feebs, in as much amazement as the rest of the country, start suspecting fraud and investigate. One googler runs across plthijinx's wishes and starts to suspect. He traces plthijinx to a mob-run scam of fraud and corruption, and plthijinx ends up in a cell with a roommate named "bubba", who, coincidentally, is in there for shoving a heine up someone's hiney.

I wish I could hit the lottery and retire, and spend all my time posting on the Cellar.

footfootfoot · 10-26-2005, 08:36 PM

Oh but you did sharpen your saw last night, sharper than Wolf's wit, and as you negotiate access to Grifftopia with it you accidentally nick yourself with it. A very small, tiny nick to a very large, important artery. As your last few drops of blood spurt out of your now pale body, Grifftopia is fully and transcendentally revealled to you. You decide it isn't what it was cracked up to be.

I wish I could drink as much beer as I wanted with out getting drunk or fat or having that "bloated feeling" Also I wish my favorite beer was less expensive.

darclauz · 10-26-2005, 09:27 PM

footfootfoot...runs across a salesalesale and buysbuysbuys. dumps the milk, dumps the unleaded. beer from foot's foot to foot's eyelashes, then settles down to drinkdrinkdrink. unable to feel any effects..no weight gain, no drunk, no bloat... footfootfoot continues to drinkdrinkdrink, until, in an unexpected twist, a bladder bursts all over footfootfoot's foot. last thought: hey... that's ironic.

i wish i knew whether foot was a boy or a girl. =)

lumberjim · 10-26-2005, 09:44 PM

footfootfoot has a cockcockcock. you do the math

i wish i knew if darclauz had ovaries

smoothmoniker · 10-26-2005, 11:21 PM

the painful burning in your rectum stands as a clear indication that darclauz in fact has a penis. a large one. with a piercing.

I wish I could find another Hammond B3 for sale.

dar512 · 10-26-2005, 11:30 PM

You find a B3 in beautiful condition available from a widow lady who doesn't know what it's worth. She sells it to you cheap. While you and your buddies are hauling it to the truck you drop it... on your hands. The doctor who is trying to put your hands back together thinks you might be showing some signs of arthritis too.

I wish my memory was better.

(aside for the unmusical - the Hammond B3 organ produces a beautiful and unique tone. Really good for jazz and rock. They were out of production for quite some time, but Wikipedia says that Hammond has started making them again, so you might look for a new one, smooth.)

Tonchi · 10-27-2005, 12:08 AM

You have your wish! Your memory is so much better that in fact you remember everything you see, hear, or read. You remember all the lyrics to every Barry Manilow song ever written, all the 3 Stooges dialog, and the complete text of Myra Breckenridge. Soon your brain is so loaded that you are unable to sleep, you don't dare turn on the television because you will remember flawlessly everything you see, and you do not dare sign on to The Cellar because you now will remember every single word written by Urbane Guerrilla.

I wish my internet connection was DSL.

smoothmoniker · 10-27-2005, 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dar512

(aside for the unmusical - the Hammond B3 organ produces a beautiful and unique tone. Really good for jazz and rock. They were out of production for quite some time, but Wikipedia says that Hammond has started making them again, so you might look for a new one, smooth.)

the new ones are for shite. i've already got a mid-60s B3, I'm looking for another one that I can chop up and turn into a road rig.

10-26-2005, 02:21 PM	#1
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	granted. the chiefs now have 2 Larry Johnsons. the only problem is: their both Ghey and so into each other no one can get them to come out of the showers for any practices, let alone games. i wish i had an ice cold heineken right now. __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

10-26-2005, 02:44 PM	#2
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	You have an ice-cold heineken -- thrown in your face by the attractive chick you just insulted at a bar. And her steroid-using boyfriend is coming over to see what the fuss is all about... I wish my boss would see why his idea won't work. __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

10-26-2005, 02:47 PM	#3
darclauz Breathing into a paper bag Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Ohio Posts: 334	poof... you're in a dark bar, one hand outstretched to call for a heineken. you accidently hit a 300 pound guy with a shaved head and more tatoos than smart asses on this board. he grabs you, growls with fetid breath into your face, turns you over, rips your pants off, tears your underwear away while pounding you in the face with the table. Then he grabs his unopened heineken...and gives it to you in yours. I wish I was as creative as you guys. __________________ Taking up smoking to lose weight.

10-26-2005, 02:59 PM	#4
mrnoodle bent Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: under the weather Posts: 2,656	Pie's boss is darclauz. Upon realizing that his idea won't work, darclauz wishes for the creativity of everyone else on the cellar. He starts writing bad poetry, diatribes about politics and religion, and far more information about his sexual preferences than anyone ever asked to hear. However, the lumberjim-penned erotic fanfic about pie/darclauz quickly becomes an internet favorite, surpassing TiNP and IOTD in hitcount and garnering high marks from c\|net. There is really no downside to any of this, other than LJ starts getting more spam than usual from a fisting site. I wish I hadn't taken that cold medicine. __________________ Sìn a nall na cuaranan sin. -- Cha mhór is fheairrde thu iad, tha iad coltach ri cat air a dhathadh

10-26-2005, 03:03 PM	#5
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	pie - your boss suddenly realizes that his idea won't work, blames you for it and fires you. all while writing up a huge change order for the client. the next thing you know you go for the World Record (SCF) i wish that i were fishing right now. scf on those last three guys! __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

10-26-2005, 03:17 PM	#6
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Zap! Plt is fishing, when suddenly a catfish of apocalyptic proportions leaps from the pond and swallows him whole. Sadly, it is only following his watery, smelly demise that the Astros win four straight to emerge victorious in the 2005 World Series. I wish I had a Ritz. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

10-26-2005, 03:28 PM	#7
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	POOF - here's your Ritz cracker, but on realizing you need something to top it with you go stir crazy and end up terrorizing a boutique yeah. i WISH the astros could win just one world series game... __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

10-26-2005, 03:39 PM	#8
darclauz Breathing into a paper bag Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Ohio Posts: 334	The Astros take it home! The Feebs, in as much amazement as the rest of the country, start suspecting fraud and investigate. One googler runs across plthijinx's wishes and starts to suspect. He traces plthijinx to a mob-run scam of fraud and corruption, and plthijinx ends up in a cell with a roommate named "bubba", who, coincidentally, is in there for shoving a heine up someone's hiney. I wish I could hit the lottery and retire, and spend all my time posting on the Cellar. __________________ Taking up smoking to lose weight.

10-26-2005, 08:36 PM	#9
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Oh but you did sharpen your saw last night, sharper than Wolf's wit, and as you negotiate access to Grifftopia with it you accidentally nick yourself with it. A very small, tiny nick to a very large, important artery. As your last few drops of blood spurt out of your now pale body, Grifftopia is fully and transcendentally revealled to you. You decide it isn't what it was cracked up to be. I wish I could drink as much beer as I wanted with out getting drunk or fat or having that "bloated feeling" Also I wish my favorite beer was less expensive. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

10-26-2005, 09:27 PM	#10
darclauz Breathing into a paper bag Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Ohio Posts: 334	footfootfoot...runs across a salesalesale and buysbuysbuys. dumps the milk, dumps the unleaded. beer from foot's foot to foot's eyelashes, then settles down to drinkdrinkdrink. unable to feel any effects..no weight gain, no drunk, no bloat... footfootfoot continues to drinkdrinkdrink, until, in an unexpected twist, a bladder bursts all over footfootfoot's foot. last thought: hey... that's ironic. i wish i knew whether foot was a boy or a girl. =) __________________ Taking up smoking to lose weight.

10-26-2005, 09:44 PM	#11
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	footfootfoot has a cockcockcock. you do the math i wish i knew if darclauz had ovaries __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

10-26-2005, 11:21 PM	#12
smoothmoniker to live and die in LA Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,090	the painful burning in your rectum stands as a clear indication that darclauz in fact has a penis. a large one. with a piercing. I wish I could find another Hammond B3 for sale. __________________ to live and die in LA

10-26-2005, 11:30 PM	#13
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	You find a B3 in beautiful condition available from a widow lady who doesn't know what it's worth. She sells it to you cheap. While you and your buddies are hauling it to the truck you drop it... on your hands. The doctor who is trying to put your hands back together thinks you might be showing some signs of arthritis too. I wish my memory was better. (aside for the unmusical - the Hammond B3 organ produces a beautiful and unique tone. Really good for jazz and rock. They were out of production for quite some time, but Wikipedia says that Hammond has started making them again, so you might look for a new one, smooth.) __________________ "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller Last edited by dar512; 10-26-2005 at 11:35 PM.

10-27-2005, 12:08 AM	#14
Tonchi Victim of gravity Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Hiding in plain sight Posts: 1,412	You have your wish! Your memory is so much better that in fact you remember everything you see, hear, or read. You remember all the lyrics to every Barry Manilow song ever written, all the 3 Stooges dialog, and the complete text of Myra Breckenridge. Soon your brain is so loaded that you are unable to sleep, you don't dare turn on the television because you will remember flawlessly everything you see, and you do not dare sign on to The Cellar because you now will remember every single word written by Urbane Guerrilla. I wish my internet connection was DSL. __________________ Everything you've ever heard about Fresno is true.

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