eating disorder accusations - Page 2

kerosene · 05-19-2005, 03:00 PM

Test them and ask if they can tell, yet. See if they ooh and aah at your normal belly, as if they can actually tell. It might be kind of funny to see what they do. Or you could just tell them you are worried about it, since you didn't have pms. See how they react.

Beestie · 05-17-2005, 11:52 AM

There are a given number of rude, self-appointed know-it-alls who feel it is their role in the world to pass judgement on the rest of us. They medicate their own self-loathing by trying to make everyone else just as miserable as they are. The best counterAttack is to refuse to feel badly about yourself and turn their comment into a compliment then, cut them with their own blade. Unfortunately, smacking the piss out of these walking inferiority complexes is not socially acceptable so our response is limited to words, body language and expressions. But you can do a lot with those three.

First, never dignify the comment by "defending yourself." Smile, look the person up and down to let them know that their physical inadequacies are on display for the world to see, then respond. But never, ever, show weakness - instead, you must strike back quickly and effortlessly to deflect the pain and self-doubt they desperately need you to bear right back at them. I think you can figure out which body language and facial expressions work best with these sample comments.

"Well, thank you for noticing."
"Thank you for pointing that out."
"I'm very comfortable with the way I look.... Not everyone is, you know"
"Maybe they should average us together to get one normal person"
"Who needs to carry a lot of extra blubber around wherever they go?"
"Yep, harpoons are the last thing *I* worry about"
"Some people are thin, some people are ugly.. its always something"
"Guys tell me they love my body.. do you get that a lot too?"
"Guys tell me they love my body.. when's the last time you heard that?"
"Overweight people ask me about that all the time."

I bet you could come up with some good ones yourself.

Its kind of amazing how a perfect stranger is so desperate to spread their inferiority around that they would blurt out a hurtful comment just so they can watch you bleed inside. Don't give them the satisfaction - with perfect confidence, strike back. Hard if necessary.

lookout123 · 05-17-2005, 12:13 PM

i think you should just screw with them.
- let a bottle of ipecac fall out of your purse.
-let them see you come out of the bathroom wiping your mouth like you had just barfed.
- ask if anyone has a mint - "i don't want to smell like vomit, you know"
- when anyone offers you a small piece of food look at them in horror and gasp - "do you know the amount of laxatives i would have to ingest if i ate that thing???"

my aunt works as a therapist at an inresidence eating disorder clinic. my wife and i have a lot of fun messing with her.

aerion_13 · 06-04-2005, 06:33 PM

Well then you're just lucky to have two thin parents. But I did notice you smoke. Now that's even worse for you. If you quit smoking, you'd probably gain 10-15 lbs. I've seen my very thin sister in law try it and that's what happens. So then she goes back to smoking. Stupid choice in my opinion.

WabUfvot5 · 06-05-2005, 01:33 AM

Jupp, smoking does make you thinner. Especially noticeable with women. It has the effect of giving a kick of energy and suppressing hunger.

Weight means nothing, take a look at BMI. You don't look that twiggy to me (said the thin lanky fencepost) but as somebody said America is a land of fatties. In Europe we'd be normal to bulky.

As for the coworkers I think you should confront them about how they suppress their sorrows with food and detail al the negative health consequences with it. If you're the passive-aggressive type it would serve you well to say something before blowing up (never done that myself, nosir

)

mrnoodle · 05-17-2005, 01:03 PM

has anyone actually accused you of having an eating disorder, or is it possible you're mistakenly inferring it from otherwise innocent comments?

The one I got all the time was, "Smile! It's not that bad, is it?" Patronizing mumblemumblemumble grrrr. Apparently it wasn't enough that I abstained from ripping their tiny rocklike hearts from their Ambercrombie & Fitch exoskeletons, now they want me to SMILE ABOUT IT???

No, really. Apparently people mistook the natural non-tooth-showing hang of my face for unhappiness or depression. I'm forever accused of scowling, even when I'm completely happy. But I really don't think they're being jerks, and I've finally overcome the selfconsciousness that makes me feel like I have to walk around with a permanent rictus.

You can't control other people, but you can control your reaction to em. I never had witticisms at hand, the ones everyone has come up with here are good, though.

Clodfobble · 05-17-2005, 03:10 PM

Quote:

"Yep, harpoons are the last thing *I* worry about"

That's some funny ass shit.

I heartily agree with Beestie, mock them. I'd pay money to see you say the above line to someone. I, too, get the "You need to eat more" comments, and I've always said, "Yeah, but you should see what I look like without the methamphetamines."

staceyv · 05-17-2005, 03:22 PM

Oh Noodle, I get the same damn thing about my facial expression- it's always "are you okaaaay?" And it's always when I'm deep in thought. I guess thinking makes me look like I want to cry, who knows...

To answer the question about actually being accused, yes, I have definitely been accused. My ex-boyfriend told me everything his family said about me, and they were dead set on that.
The girl at work who won't shut up about how GREAT I look and how I was too skinny before, and how GREAT it is that I gained weight- every single fucking day,
Has accused two other girls I know of having eating disorders. And she talks behind a lot of people's backs- so don't tell me that she isn't saying it about me!
She even had a conversation with one of the cooks about my weight and thank God I gained some weight. He told me later.

Yesterday, she mentioned it AGAIN, for like the fifth time this week.
She says "Stacey, I was talking with so and so about how pretty you look and good it is that you gained some weight."
I said :wow, I gain 3 pounds and everybody here is talking about it! You guys keep track of my weight better than I do!" And I tried to say it with a smile so she couldn't tell if I was being rude or not.

Like I said, I've known my coworkers for five years and I don't want to be a total bitch to them...

SmurfAbuser · 05-17-2005, 09:17 PM

These people are obviously jealous of you, and when people get jealous, they want bad things to be true in order to "even the score." Sad but true.

There are so many overweight people in this country, and most of them will always be overweight. They see you and think "wow, I wish I had a bod like her," but instead of doing anything about it they order a Biggie Meal from Wendy's and spend all their time in front of the TV, on the computer, playing video games, etc.

So take it as a compliment, girl--the best revenge is living well!

lookout123 · 05-17-2005, 11:55 PM

no the best revenge is to set them up on a date with your friend who is really nice, but unfortunately has herpes.

lumberjim · 05-18-2005, 12:07 AM

just tell them that you got tapeworms from not cleaning your toilet for 3 years.

you could back it up with pictures.

footfootfoot · 05-19-2005, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

just tell them that you got tapeworms from not cleaning your toilet for 3 years.

you could back it up with pictures.

Once again, LJ beats me to the punch.

I suggest that you reply:
"between the tapeworms and the TB, I just can't keep the weight on"
Then cough loudly and wetly, look at your hand, and then pat them on the back, smiling in a strange kind of way.

SWMBO is also rail thin, for a long time she was barely 112lbs. soaking wet and 5'-10". She got a lot of the same looks and comments from her friends and family.

She eats like there is no tomorrow. five times a day. I eat about 1/2 to 2/3 the amount of food she does in a given day. Calories don't stand a chance against her. They disappear like snow flakes on a wood stove.

Since the Bedwe'er was born she is able to keep it up to 134lbs.

YMMV

staceyv · 05-18-2005, 05:35 AM

now THAT might actually work!

kerosene · 05-18-2005, 10:29 AM

Beestie had some great comments. Too bad I don't have the necessary situation in which to use them.

When I was pregnant, a guy I worked with had the nerve to actually tell me "Hey, I didn't know you were pregnant!" (at 6 months it was pretty obvious). I told him "Oh, you just thought I was REALLY getting fat...like I was sitting around eating doughnuts all day, didn't you?" I then laughed like he had told the best joke all day. He shut up.

glatt · 05-18-2005, 10:39 AM

Just for the record, as a guy, I can tell you that we can be pretty unobservant. One day he probably noticed you were pregnant, and said "hey, I just noticed you are pregnant." Dumb, but not mean.

05-17-2005, 11:52 AM	#2
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	There are a given number of rude, self-appointed know-it-alls who feel it is their role in the world to pass judgement on the rest of us. They medicate their own self-loathing by trying to make everyone else just as miserable as they are. The best counterAttack is to refuse to feel badly about yourself and turn their comment into a compliment then, cut them with their own blade. Unfortunately, smacking the piss out of these walking inferiority complexes is not socially acceptable so our response is limited to words, body language and expressions. But you can do a lot with those three. First, never dignify the comment by "defending yourself." Smile, look the person up and down to let them know that their physical inadequacies are on display for the world to see, then respond. But never, ever, show weakness - instead, you must strike back quickly and effortlessly to deflect the pain and self-doubt they desperately need you to bear right back at them. I think you can figure out which body language and facial expressions work best with these sample comments. "Well, thank you for noticing." "Thank you for pointing that out." "I'm very comfortable with the way I look.... Not everyone is, you know" "Maybe they should average us together to get one normal person" "Who needs to carry a lot of extra blubber around wherever they go?" "Yep, harpoons are the last thing I worry about" "Some people are thin, some people are ugly.. its always something" "Guys tell me they love my body.. do you get that a lot too?" "Guys tell me they love my body.. when's the last time you heard that?" "Overweight people ask me about that all the time." I bet you could come up with some good ones yourself. Its kind of amazing how a perfect stranger is so desperate to spread their inferiority around that they would blurt out a hurtful comment just so they can watch you bleed inside. Don't give them the satisfaction - with perfect confidence, strike back. Hard if necessary. __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

05-17-2005, 12:13 PM	#3
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	i think you should just screw with them. - let a bottle of ipecac fall out of your purse. -let them see you come out of the bathroom wiping your mouth like you had just barfed. - ask if anyone has a mint - "i don't want to smell like vomit, you know" - when anyone offers you a small piece of food look at them in horror and gasp - "do you know the amount of laxatives i would have to ingest if i ate that thing???" my aunt works as a therapist at an inresidence eating disorder clinic. my wife and i have a lot of fun messing with her. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

05-17-2005, 01:03 PM	#6
mrnoodle bent Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: under the weather Posts: 2,656	has anyone actually accused you of having an eating disorder, or is it possible you're mistakenly inferring it from otherwise innocent comments? The one I got all the time was, "Smile! It's not that bad, is it?" Patronizing mumblemumblemumble grrrr. Apparently it wasn't enough that I abstained from ripping their tiny rocklike hearts from their Ambercrombie & Fitch exoskeletons, now they want me to SMILE ABOUT IT??? No, really. Apparently people mistook the natural non-tooth-showing hang of my face for unhappiness or depression. I'm forever accused of scowling, even when I'm completely happy. But I really don't think they're being jerks, and I've finally overcome the selfconsciousness that makes me feel like I have to walk around with a permanent rictus. You can't control other people, but you can control your reaction to em. I never had witticisms at hand, the ones everyone has come up with here are good, though. __________________ Sìn a nall na cuaranan sin. -- Cha mhór is fheairrde thu iad, tha iad coltach ri cat air a dhathadh

05-17-2005, 11:55 PM	#10
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	no the best revenge is to set them up on a date with your friend who is really nice, but unfortunately has herpes. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

05-18-2005, 12:07 AM	#11
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	just tell them that you got tapeworms from not cleaning your toilet for 3 years. you could back it up with pictures. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

05-19-2005, 03:00 PM	#1
kerosene Touring the facilities Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The plains of Colorado Posts: 3,476	Test them and ask if they can tell, yet. See if they ooh and aah at your normal belly, as if they can actually tell. It might be kind of funny to see what they do. Or you could just tell them you are worried about it, since you didn't have pms. See how they react.

06-04-2005, 06:33 PM	#4
aerion_13 tennis enthusiast Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 44	Well then you're just lucky to have two thin parents. But I did notice you smoke. Now that's even worse for you. If you quit smoking, you'd probably gain 10-15 lbs. I've seen my very thin sister in law try it and that's what happens. So then she goes back to smoking. Stupid choice in my opinion.

06-05-2005, 01:33 AM	#5
WabUfvot5 Operations Operative Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 634	Jupp, smoking does make you thinner. Especially noticeable with women. It has the effect of giving a kick of energy and suppressing hunger. Weight means nothing, take a look at BMI. You don't look that twiggy to me (said the thin lanky fencepost) but as somebody said America is a land of fatties. In Europe we'd be normal to bulky. As for the coworkers I think you should confront them about how they suppress their sorrows with food and detail al the negative health consequences with it. If you're the passive-aggressive type it would serve you well to say something before blowing up (never done that myself, nosir )

05-17-2005, 03:22 PM	#8
staceyv Lecturer Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 927	Oh Noodle, I get the same damn thing about my facial expression- it's always "are you okaaaay?" And it's always when I'm deep in thought. I guess thinking makes me look like I want to cry, who knows... To answer the question about actually being accused, yes, I have definitely been accused. My ex-boyfriend told me everything his family said about me, and they were dead set on that. The girl at work who won't shut up about how GREAT I look and how I was too skinny before, and how GREAT it is that I gained weight- every single fucking day, Has accused two other girls I know of having eating disorders. And she talks behind a lot of people's backs- so don't tell me that she isn't saying it about me! She even had a conversation with one of the cooks about my weight and thank God I gained some weight. He told me later. Yesterday, she mentioned it AGAIN, for like the fifth time this week. She says "Stacey, I was talking with so and so about how pretty you look and good it is that you gained some weight." I said :wow, I gain 3 pounds and everybody here is talking about it! You guys keep track of my weight better than I do!" And I tried to say it with a smile so she couldn't tell if I was being rude or not. Like I said, I've known my coworkers for five years and I don't want to be a total bitch to them...

05-17-2005, 09:17 PM	#9
SmurfAbuser Simulated Simulacrum Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 39	These people are obviously jealous of you, and when people get jealous, they want bad things to be true in order to "even the score." Sad but true. There are so many overweight people in this country, and most of them will always be overweight. They see you and think "wow, I wish I had a bod like her," but instead of doing anything about it they order a Biggie Meal from Wendy's and spend all their time in front of the TV, on the computer, playing video games, etc. So take it as a compliment, girl--the best revenge is living well!

05-18-2005, 05:35 AM	#13
staceyv Lecturer Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 927	now THAT might actually work!

05-18-2005, 10:29 AM	#14
kerosene Touring the facilities Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The plains of Colorado Posts: 3,476	Beestie had some great comments. Too bad I don't have the necessary situation in which to use them. When I was pregnant, a guy I worked with had the nerve to actually tell me "Hey, I didn't know you were pregnant!" (at 6 months it was pretty obvious). I told him "Oh, you just thought I was REALLY getting fat...like I was sitting around eating doughnuts all day, didn't you?" I then laughed like he had told the best joke all day. He shut up.

05-18-2005, 10:39 AM	#15
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Just for the record, as a guy, I can tell you that we can be pretty unobservant. One day he probably noticed you were pregnant, and said "hey, I just noticed you are pregnant." Dumb, but not mean. Last edited by glatt; 05-18-2005 at 10:44 AM.

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