The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Parenting
Reload this Page Funny/Embarrassing things they say
FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

Reply
Page 71 of 76 « First 216164656667686970 71 7273747576
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-30-2016, 11:06 AM   #1
infinite monkey
Person who doesn't update the user title
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
Infinitely working.
infinite monkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-31-2016, 08:48 AM   #2
classicman
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
Waves ... Hi!
__________________
"like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt
classicman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-04-2016, 02:43 PM   #3
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
Minifob and -fobette are playing Twister, except the spinner is kind of broken so Minifobette is just calling out whatever move amuses her the most.

Minifobette: "Right hand, red."
Minifob: "What? Oh my god!"
Minifobette: (absolutely deadpan) "Don't complain. This is your life now."
Clodfobble is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-04-2016, 04:20 PM   #4
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clodfobble View Post
"This is your life now."
That's great.
__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-04-2016, 11:16 PM   #5
infinite monkey
Person who doesn't update the user title
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clodfobble View Post
Minifob and -fobette are playing Twister, except the spinner is kind of broken so Minifobette is just calling out whatever move amuses her the most.

Minifobette: "Right hand, red."
Minifob: "What? Oh my god!"
Minifobette: (absolutely deadpan) "Don't complain. This is your life now."
infinite monkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-04-2016, 03:13 PM   #6
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
Undertoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-04-2016, 04:02 PM   #7
footfootfoot
To shreds, you say?
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
Takes after her mom
__________________
The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs
footfootfoot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-04-2016, 09:15 PM   #8
Pico and ME
Are you knock-kneed?
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Middle Hoosierland
Posts: 3,549
Can that go on top? It's awesome.
(whatever that space under the monkey is called)

She's certainly in control of her brother, huh. Poor guy, he's in for it for a long time...lol.
__________________
Jesse LaGreca in 2012

“Seven Deadly Sins: Wealth without work, Pleasure without conscience, Science without humanity, Knowledge without character, Politics without principle, Commerce without morality, Worship without sacrifice.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Pico and ME is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-04-2016, 09:20 PM   #9
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
Like that, the whole quote?
Undertoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-04-2016, 09:54 PM   #10
Pico and ME
Are you knock-kneed?
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Middle Hoosierland
Posts: 3,549
Perfect. Thank you.
__________________
Jesse LaGreca in 2012

“Seven Deadly Sins: Wealth without work, Pleasure without conscience, Science without humanity, Knowledge without character, Politics without principle, Commerce without morality, Worship without sacrifice.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Pico and ME is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-04-2016, 10:39 PM   #11
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
Aw. I've never had (okay, inspired) a tagline before.


You guys reminded me, there's another thing I was going to post of hers a couple weeks ago and then got distracted. She writes this ongoing series of stories about a girl named Julie Williamson and her various adventures. Recently there was one about a bunch of weather disasters happening in the town, and finally the young heroine sleuthed out that someone had time traveled and met his or her future self, and that had created a "weather chaos" paradox. So she asked everyone in town, and the mayor confessed...

Quote:
So she was just about to kill him until the policeman came.
“Your under arrest for trying to kill the mayor!” they said.
“But its the only way! I have to kill him to stop the chaos!”
“Well, it’s the end of his last year anyway, I guess you can kill him.” said the policeman.
So Julie killed the mayor and everyone was happy.
THE END
Clodfobble is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2016, 01:26 PM   #12
footfootfoot
To shreds, you say?
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clodfobble View Post
... someone had time traveled and met his or her future self, and that had created a "weather chaos" paradox...


Doctor Who much?

Send her resume to Moffat and Gatiss
__________________
The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs
footfootfoot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2016, 07:50 PM   #13
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
On Minifob's recent math quiz, the problem presented two children named Allyson and Justin who had each solved a problem a different way (one being obviously wrong.) He was asked to explain which child was correct, and why. His answer:

Quote:
Allyson ACTUALLY used feet! I agree because she used an ACTUAL measurement unlike Justin McJusty, he isn't very clear on his measurements. You tell the exact measurement you want. You use a standard measurement: feet! You are good at measuring and know what is a universal measurement that everyone understands.
I told him name-calling wasn't a convincing argument. He disagreed, and pointed out the fact that he got partial credit.
Clodfobble is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2016, 07:01 AM   #14
Griff
still says videotape
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
I'm with Mini on this one.
__________________
If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you.
- Louis D. Brandeis
Griff is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2016, 11:38 AM   #15
Beest
Adapt and Survive
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Ann Arbor, Mi
Posts: 957
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clodfobble View Post
He disagreed, and pointed out the fact that he got partial credit.
I see the error, Justin McJustyface would have got full credit.
Beest is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 71 of 76 « First 216164656667686970 71 7273747576

Tags
humor

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:07 PM.

Eat cookies · Contact Us - The Cellar - Archive - Top

Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.