Brit Political Humor... er, humour

[xoxoxoBruce]

The funniest of the funniest British political quotes of the last 50 years went to Boris Johnson, London's newly elected lord mayor. When asked by schoolchildren whether he would like to be Britain's prime minister, Johnson replied: "I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as being decapitated by a Frisbee or of finding Elvis."

John Prescott came finished in second place when he said: "The Green Belt is a Labor [Party] initiative and we intend to build on it."

Third place when to Harriet Harman for saying, "Tony Banks described the English fans arrested in Marseilles as brain-dead louts - that goes for me as well."

Robin Cook took forth place when he uttered: "They found more dangerous chemicals in Coca-Cola's Dasani mineral water than they did in the whole of Iraq."

Former prime minister Harold Macmillan came in fifth place when he offered the following: "It has been said that there is no fool like an old fool, except a young fool. But the young fool has first to grow up to be an old fool to realise what a damn fool he was when he was a young fool."

Boris Johnson, yes, the same politician who won first place, also finished in sixth place with this bit of wisdom: "Yes, cannabis is dangerous, but no more than other perfectly legal drugs. It's time for a rethink, and the Tory party - the funkiest, most jiving party on Earth - is where it's happening."

Former prime minister Margaret Thatcher, affectionately known as "old iron bottom" ... or something like that ... finished in seventh place for saying: "I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end."

Finishing in eighth place was Michael Howard for telling the prime minister: "You are the deals-on-wheels Prime Minister - no wonder the Chancellor [of the Exchecquer] is not a happy eater!"

David Blunkett earned ninth place with this tongue-in-cheek response to a question : "David is supposed to be a sad, lonely, old, blind bastard. David's not meant to have fun or go to nice restaurants or - heaven forbid - have sex."

Edward Heath, made 10th place on the list with: "Do you know what Margaret Thatcher did in her first Budget? Introduced VAT (value added tax) on yachts! It somewhat ruined my retirement."