Antidepressant round-up

[Shawnee123]

What foot said.

I AM happy for people who can 'live with it' without meds. I also think it's not even the same thing as what some of us are talking about.

I can boo-hoo about feeling badly, and take my meds, and not kill myself. It's that simple. I'm sorry that those with severe depression don't understand those of you who can just 'live with it' but as I said, you're comparing apples and oranges. I'm sorry, but you just are. This is not to say (retracting a bit of what I said in an earlier post) that you don't have some sort of clinical depression, but what we are talking about you don't just 'live with it' or walk it off. To imply that it can be so seems a smug viewpoint to those of us who just can't walk it off.

Could it be possible too, then, that you are not experiencing what foot's OP was about? More just a chance to jump in about how you can live with it?
That might be what it feels like to some of us, true or not, it seems presumptuous and condescending.

This is all in lieu of saying "goody for you." Yes, that can be the reaction too.

Now I'm going to walk off my fibromyalgia. Do you have that? I don't. I don't think it exists. I could be wrong, but when that thread starts I doubt I'll pop in to tell everyone "tally-ho and a boo hoo hoo, I had that but I took a salt bath and a long walk."

Oh, and I might 'live with it' if I could spend days in bed, not leaving the house. I have to function in this society and not drive off a cliff. No choices there.

Unless one of all y'all wanna be a sugar daddy to a depressive mess.

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

Oh, and I might 'live with it' if I could spend days in bed, not leaving the house. I have to function in this society and not drive off a cliff. No choices there.

Unless one of all y'all wanna be a sugar daddy to a depressive mess.

As I said: it's part of the reason I chose a single and childless life. depression was a damn sight harder to 'live with' when I had to interact with people regardless of my state of mind. I can, and do, have times when I just can't interact with people. Having a partner, and 9-5 work responsibilities is a nightmare at times like that.

The only responsibility I have that I cannot back out of/cancel/ignore, is Pilau's walk and food. Even so, from time to time, I dump him on Ma for a spell.

This is how I got/get through depression. It works for me. But living alone, and creating the perfect cocoon isn't necessarily the healithiest option for everybody. Like I say, it works for me. The impact of depression is much lessened by the lack of people/children/responsibilities who can be let down or hurt.

If I give vent to my obsessive nature, there's nobody angry or upset that I spent £1000 on pot and sci-fi. If I spend days just in my own head, nobody is upset or feels shut out. If I completely lose my grip on the house and my own well-being, stop doing the basics, become nocturnal, spend most of the day slumped on the sofa unable to muster the caring to wash. I'm not also carrying a weight of guilt about how this might be affecting somebody else. Except for Pilau. But at least I can palm him off with a biscuit and a belly rub.

A less dysfunctional approach might actually have been to take medication and learn to live in the world like other people do. But I have never seen a psychiatrist I trusted and most of my experience of drugs (and hospitals) has been profoundly unhelpful. Couple that with having basically been able to mould my life around what I feel able to do at any given time, and my way seems sensible to me.

So...where am I going with this? Yeah. If you need medication to live with depression then take medication. It's the sensible thing to do. If you need medication to be able to live in the way you want to live (ie function and hold down a job and have a chance at a career, a relationship that works and maybe raising children) then take medication, it's the sensible thing to do. And if not taking medication means your brain chemistry is such that you are incapacitated, or in danger of harming yourself, then take medication, it's the sensible thing to do.

[footfootfoot]

Deciding to "live with it" implies that you recognize "it" exists. My comments are directed more at depression deniers, those who think having "it" is a choice, not those just deciding to live with "it".

I think for most depressed people, they do choose to live with it, because if they were in a position to do something about it, they probably wouldn't be depressed.

I chose to take action when I saw the early warning signs. I knew where this was headed and I wasn't willing to go there without a fight.

[Sundae]

When I was living in London with Steve he believed he could help me because he'd had depression.
Self diagnosed and unmedicated. But he talked about it so confidently I had always believed him.
Turns out he was "cured" by having a couple of therapy sessions, and therefore thought that this was the only viable way of "curing" depression.
I started to have my suspicions when he advised me to just start by doing something I enjoy - that's he he started getting his life back again.
It was tricky to explain that I did not enjoy anything when I was at my worst. Not eating, drinking, reading, sleeping, talking, watching television, taking a shower etc etc. All far too ambitious to even attempt.

Of course once the medication started to kick in I did treat myself to things I had previously enjoyed. And I did get to the point where I started to take pleasure in them again. My meds have finally brought me back to where I should be - a thrill on a frosty morning, enjoying a bumpy train ride, fascinated by a mosiac glass candle holder. But I won't forget that there was a time when I couldn't summon the willpower to go the toilet even when I was in physical pain from needing to go. That's not a walk-it-off level of being.

[Juniper]

Fair enough, Shawnee. I don't know what it's like inside your head, and you don't know what it's like in mine. I am sorry that I'm not qualified to empathize with you, because that was my intention; it certainly wasn't to come off as presumptuous and condescending. I guess maybe I really am just an antisocial selfish bitch. Too bad they don't have meds for that.

[Shawnee123]

Whatever juniper. That was helpful.

Qualified and antisocial selfish bitch are your words. Maybe you want a label? Perhaps you have one. Perhaps you are depressed and are trying to overcome the guilt I spoke of by telling yourself and us how you walk out of it.

Maybe there are meds for you. You can hope, if that's what you desire so much.

I mean seriously, do you want ME to diagnose your depression? No? Then get diagnosed and get some help, if you think it's there. Or wah wah around about not being depressed but being so...depressed. I don't get it, but I'm not in your head.

[Juniper]

I guess we don't have to worry about ever finding time to meet in person, eh? Oh well. I had no idea you had such animosity toward me. Thanks for clearing that up.

[Shawnee123]

I do not have animosity towards you. My points might be harsh but I have no ill feelings towards you.

My feeling about depression/not depression are pretty clear if you read all my posts in this thread. My feelings about you...certainly not ill will. I wonder if you do have depression. Think about it. You brought this up where you know someone like me will argue that you just can't get it if you don't really deal with it...that this isn't just the blues. Maybe I didn't read well enough myself. Do you have trouble with the happenings of what to others is everyday life? If so, I urge you to cast off the "my family just deals with it" motto that you have known all your life, and see if maybe there isn't some help. You remind me of me, to tell the truth.

I'm sorry about my harshness. I'm a harsh bitch sometimes, probably another defense mechanism.

I have NO ill feelings towards you. I would love to meet you someday. I'm a horrible person at times, but a horrible person with a nice side. Sorry juni.

[Juniper]

Yes, you look much nicer after you've gone back to edit your post. Whatever.

[Shawnee123]

What post did I edit? I only edit the one I am currently posting, if you're implying I changed any previous post to seem less harsh, I assure you I didn't, and that is akin to calling me a liar. You've mixed me up with posters who care that much what the general public thinks. I tried to meet you halfway.

Yeah well, I tried. Go suck an egg. Then cry about it, but don't blame it on me. Jesus.

edit: and fuck you. Set people up much? Get me all riled up so you can point at the bitch. Pathetic.

[Juniper]

You edited #62. Maybe we were posting at the same time, but I saw a different version of it.

Anyway, I'm dropping it. I want to apologize profusely to Foot, whose thread I hijacked and made too much about me. It's funny--I always start out trying to empathize, and end up looking like an idiot. Foot, I really hope you're feeling better soon.

[Shawnee123]

Bullshit, what did I edit?

Yeah, I always try to be a part of something I have experience with, but like you I am made the fool. Because people like you need a bad guy too badly. Thanks much. Your supposed 'empathy' is heartwarming. I could hug the world. Fucking nice.

[Shawnee123]

NEW POST. NO EDITING.

Yes, each post is a thought in process, being honed then resubmitted. I try to keep it in a three minute timeline. I know my harshness, I try to temper it.

But I won't be bullied into the temperament you think I should exhibit towards you. You're being mean, and you know it.

You are depressed. Get help. It isn't my fault.

[DanaC]

It's kind of a silly argument really. Depression is different for different people and therefore requires different responses. What works for one person isn't necessarily going to work for the next. I'm glad I don't have to take medication in order not to feel suicidal, or completely flat. My strategies work because of that. They wouldn't work if I had the kind of depression that requires medical intervention.

The trouble is these things are very personal. The level of impact is very personal. And that can lead to a certain defensiveness. It is a strange thing to find oneself defending an illness/condition/state of mind. But these things are often wrapped up in our sense of self.

[Gravdigr]

I guess, according to Shaw, unless you're dead, dying, killing yourself, or eating pills like M&Ms, you just can't be depressed.

Either that, or it's a case of "Nobody's Depresseder Than Me".