Is it ever *ok* to cheat? - Page 5

Iggy · 01-17-2007, 11:47 PM

I think elspode and case say it best. I am just not the best at saying what I want to say... *ugh*

Elspode · 01-18-2007, 11:59 AM

Nonsense. Your point of view is quite cogent and a welcome addition to such discussions. As with all things, each individual experiences polyamory/open marriage in a different manner. No two experiences or points of view are likely to be precisely the same, even though the activities involved often are.

Polyamory is a pretty alien concept to our society in general. Discussing both the concept and our individual experiences is a good thing, IMHO.

glatt · 01-18-2007, 12:36 PM

It is interesting hearing about everyone's experiences. I think it's never OK to cheat, but I suppose for each couple, they have to decide for themselves what cheating is.

My wife over the last several months has gotten back in touch with a former boyfriend. He looked her up and contacted her. He got divorced a few years ago, and I assume he started thinking about his past and thought about her and decided to look her up. They've been exchanging e-mails, and he even sent us (really her) a Christmas card this year and a CD of some music that he likes and wanted to introduce to her. He lives about an hour away, but they've never gotten together in person. You can probably gather that I don't like it much. I haven't minded in the past when she has had male friends, but this time it bugs me because he's a former boyfriend.

The good thing is that she hasn't tried to hide any of it, and she's assured me that she has no interest in him romantically. She says she just cares about him like a friend because they had a shared history years ago. They were pretty serious at the time.

Our relationship is a good one, and she's never done anything that would make me suspect she would cheat on me. But I still have these jealous feelings whenever any mention of him comes into our lives. I've told her I don't really like it that they are in contact with each other, but I haven't made a big deal about it. She isn't cheating on me, but it feels a little like she is by paying any attention to this guy.

yesman065 · 01-18-2007, 01:21 PM

I'm sure she is committed to you and there is nothing to worry about, she may just be enjoying the extra attention. He on the other hand may not have the noblest of intentions. I would not like it at all either, but unlike you, my feelings would be known loud and clear. I have become more possessive since I was cheated on by my ex in the past.

01-18-2007, 01:54 PM

I've met people who were in open relationships and made it work and have bee in them and made it work. I am happier in a monogamous relationship. But, that is just me.

01-18-2007, 05:29 PM

Who stops after divorce?
You don't know the divorced people I know.

yesman065 · 01-18-2007, 06:42 PM

I feel like I was reborn since the separation. Maybe that will change as time goes by, but right now I feel as though I have started anew and have the experiences and mistakes from the past to learn from. I certainly hope that I don't go through what I've already been through again. This has been a very stormy ending to a long, 17 year, journey with many ups and too many downs, but I've made it through alive.

DucksNuts · 01-18-2007, 09:06 PM

I was just talking to my gf (the one zoiking the married dude).

Now - he's gone away to Surfers Paradise (well known for extramarital activity on golf trips, hens nites, footy trips etc) and she is all happy because he says, although he has no trouble cheating on his wife, he would NEVER cheat on his girlfriend.

whatthefuckever - I have to learn to keep my mouth shut on this matter, because she will never be happy with my reactions.

She's a smart smart lady, I dont get why she cant see that if he is happy to cheat on his wife (has done for 5-ish years), why he would have any concerns cheating on his bit on the side? She's never going to know

Me on the other hand - on cloud nine

Army boy is flying into Melbourne tonite and we are having a dirty weekend away.

Then we are meeting in 2 weeks in Adelaide for the weekend as well.

yesman065 · 01-18-2007, 09:08 PM

Woo Hoo I'm happy for ya Ducks. Go have some "dirty fun"

Elspode · 01-19-2007, 11:51 AM

Your girlfriend is definitely in lala land on this one, Ducks.

Hope you and Armyguy have an awesome weekend. Do something especially nasty, then make up a tagline based on it. Be creative.

yesman065 · 01-19-2007, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elspode

Your girlfriend is definitely in lala land on this one, Ducks.

I'm totally with you on this one - She is heading for a disaster like a train without brakes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elspode

Hope you and Armyguy have an awesome weekend. Do something especially nasty, then make up a tagline based on it. Be creative.

Ohhh I like that - great idea!! I'll have to try that one myself.

Iggy · 01-19-2007, 08:37 PM

Ooooo Ducks! That sounds like fun.

Enjoy your dirty weekend!

Ronald Cherrycoke · 01-19-2007, 10:07 PM

cheating is a guilty pleasure for everyone...until you get caught...then it is a nightmare..for everyone.

Cloud · 04-29-2007, 09:48 PM

cheating is bad.

polyamory, on the other hand . . .

DucksNuts · 04-30-2007, 12:59 AM

Ohhh, cool, I was just thinking about this today.

I've found so many levels of cheating recently, the Army dude situation is getting a bit bent out of shape....but we had a conversation and decided there were no rules until he gets back from Iraq and we see how we feel.

Anyways, I am currently seeing a married guy. I dont know how long that will work for either of us....he has a history of long term *girlfriends*.

01-17-2007, 11:47 PM	#1
Iggy Back and ready to tart up the place Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 850	I think elspode and case say it best. I am just not the best at saying what I want to say... ugh __________________ Chock-full of naughty goodness.

01-18-2007, 11:59 AM	#2
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Nonsense. Your point of view is quite cogent and a welcome addition to such discussions. As with all things, each individual experiences polyamory/open marriage in a different manner. No two experiences or points of view are likely to be precisely the same, even though the activities involved often are. Polyamory is a pretty alien concept to our society in general. Discussing both the concept and our individual experiences is a good thing, IMHO. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

01-19-2007, 11:51 AM	#10
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Your girlfriend is definitely in lala land on this one, Ducks. Hope you and Armyguy have an awesome weekend. Do something especially nasty, then make up a tagline based on it. Be creative. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

01-19-2007, 08:37 PM	#12
Iggy Back and ready to tart up the place Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 850	Ooooo Ducks! That sounds like fun. Enjoy your dirty weekend! __________________ Chock-full of naughty goodness.

04-29-2007, 09:48 PM	#14
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	cheating is bad. polyamory, on the other hand . . . __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!" Last edited by Cloud; 04-29-2007 at 10:35 PM.

01-18-2007, 12:36 PM	#3
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	It is interesting hearing about everyone's experiences. I think it's never OK to cheat, but I suppose for each couple, they have to decide for themselves what cheating is. My wife over the last several months has gotten back in touch with a former boyfriend. He looked her up and contacted her. He got divorced a few years ago, and I assume he started thinking about his past and thought about her and decided to look her up. They've been exchanging e-mails, and he even sent us (really her) a Christmas card this year and a CD of some music that he likes and wanted to introduce to her. He lives about an hour away, but they've never gotten together in person. You can probably gather that I don't like it much. I haven't minded in the past when she has had male friends, but this time it bugs me because he's a former boyfriend. The good thing is that she hasn't tried to hide any of it, and she's assured me that she has no interest in him romantically. She says she just cares about him like a friend because they had a shared history years ago. They were pretty serious at the time. Our relationship is a good one, and she's never done anything that would make me suspect she would cheat on me. But I still have these jealous feelings whenever any mention of him comes into our lives. I've told her I don't really like it that they are in contact with each other, but I haven't made a big deal about it. She isn't cheating on me, but it feels a little like she is by paying any attention to this guy.

01-18-2007, 01:21 PM	#4
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	I'm sure she is committed to you and there is nothing to worry about, she may just be enjoying the extra attention. He on the other hand may not have the noblest of intentions. I would not like it at all either, but unlike you, my feelings would be known loud and clear. I have become more possessive since I was cheated on by my ex in the past.

01-18-2007, 01:54 PM	#5
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	I've met people who were in open relationships and made it work and have bee in them and made it work. I am happier in a monogamous relationship. But, that is just me.

01-18-2007, 05:29 PM	#6
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	Who stops after divorce? You don't know the divorced people I know.

01-18-2007, 06:42 PM	#7
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	I feel like I was reborn since the separation. Maybe that will change as time goes by, but right now I feel as though I have started anew and have the experiences and mistakes from the past to learn from. I certainly hope that I don't go through what I've already been through again. This has been a very stormy ending to a long, 17 year, journey with many ups and too many downs, but I've made it through alive.

01-18-2007, 09:06 PM	#8
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	I was just talking to my gf (the one zoiking the married dude). Now - he's gone away to Surfers Paradise (well known for extramarital activity on golf trips, hens nites, footy trips etc) and she is all happy because he says, although he has no trouble cheating on his wife, he would NEVER cheat on his girlfriend. whatthefuckever - I have to learn to keep my mouth shut on this matter, because she will never be happy with my reactions. She's a smart smart lady, I dont get why she cant see that if he is happy to cheat on his wife (has done for 5-ish years), why he would have any concerns cheating on his bit on the side? She's never going to know Me on the other hand - on cloud nine Army boy is flying into Melbourne tonite and we are having a dirty weekend away. Then we are meeting in 2 weeks in Adelaide for the weekend as well.

01-18-2007, 09:08 PM	#9
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	Woo Hoo I'm happy for ya Ducks. Go have some "dirty fun"

01-19-2007, 10:07 PM	#13
Ronald Cherrycoke Master Locutor Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 153	cheating is a guilty pleasure for everyone...until you get caught...then it is a nightmare..for everyone.

04-30-2007, 12:59 AM	#15
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Ohhh, cool, I was just thinking about this today. I've found so many levels of cheating recently, the Army dude situation is getting a bit bent out of shape....but we had a conversation and decided there were no rules until he gets back from Iraq and we see how we feel. Anyways, I am currently seeing a married guy. I dont know how long that will work for either of us....he has a history of long term girlfriends.

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