Is Trilby ok?

[Trilby]

I'm glad I come here. You all are so funny; and sweet. I was taken to the hospital; not jail (only been there once in the drunk tank for four hours- " someone who isn't me" was too high on heroin to really care but the nice black ladies there had some fun with it) and I was cuffed because, in my distress, I might have hurt the butch cunt who cuffed me so---and, no, they never, ever, in any circumstances cuff in the front. Back cuffs only. Ever been cuffed? Suck-eeeeee.

Everything was "for my own good" but it felt like everything was "To make sure you can't sue us" and nobody really gave a damn. I didn't even get a valium. I waited in the MH room for three hours while my psych made arrangements to see me the very next day (unusual and I'll give the LSW props for that)

I complained to the pharmacist, krogers, the sargeant and IA and they all said the same thing "protocol". so. Never look sad or distraught or godfuckingforbid you cry at the pharmacy. I gave the cops ZERO problems, having dealt with my locals for years they are bullies, they are all on testosterone (esp. the gals) and they get wood with each encounter, no matter how small. They hate us all and we pretty much hate them-unless your an oldster and you want someone to talk to during their near-monthly pleas for funds for The Fraternal Order of Police where they scam you out of money.

I would like to kick her in the cunt.

My sister suggests what I resists persists and they get off on it so I will NOT kick any officer in the cunt, though I want to very much. I will only picture it in my mind in graphic detail; esp. the part where she's just about to vomit from the pain.

I told my doctor thanks for nothing. I need to apologize for that. He's only doing his job but holymotherofgod I wish I'd never told him I was an addict. When they know you are an addict they give you aspirin and a hot water bottle even if your arm's off.

You're lovely people.
I'm glad you care----even if you don't. :P

[Trilby]

PS- now he can't get at the cat food the poop problem is solved.

Seems cat food has waaaaay more protein than dog food so they love it and eat it all up and with all the upheaval Scout was having diarrhea (fun!) but now he's settled a bit. A BIT. I should've gotten an older dog; but they he was and I made a rash, impetuous, on-the-rebound decision. I'll try to post a pic. (He IS on FB) if you want to friend me just PM me.

[Trilby]

action shot

[Trilby]

always on the move:

[DanaC]

Oh he's gorgeous!

He'll be an older dog soon enough :P

[infinite monkey]

What a pretty dog. Looks really sweet.

[Chocolatl]

Very good looking pup! Is Scout the name he came with or did you rename him?

[Trilby]

one more try at a decent non-moving one....

[Trilby]

ahhh....fuggitaboutit. He NEVER stops.

thanks. I'm trying to learn to love him.

[limey]

It is really hard getting a new pet very soon after losing an old friend. I've done it and wondered whether it was a mistake - but you'll learn to love him soon enough. There is space in your heart for both him and Autumn, I'm sure!


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[DanaC]

It'll happen. It's always a bit odd at first. Even with a pup. I remember sitting there with carrot wondering about this little alien creature who didn't really know me and whom i didn't really know, and wondering if it would ever feel natural.

[Trilby]

and both of you came to love your new creature...so that gives me hope. I mean, I LIKE him, but he's a LOT of freaking work, babbeh, and I am Queen of sitting on the couch reading like I don't care. He'd rather we cage fight.

also--just spent nearly 20 dollars on a nylon bone the guy at the store told me all his regulars were giving rave reviews over===Scout couldn't care less. Anybody want me to mail them a very, very slightly mouthed bone? it's washable and indestructable.

[Trilby]

I can't be trusted....I do too much of everything....sorry! a profile:

[DanaC]

ha! try him with a stagbar (antler). Carrot goes nuts for them and he's a heavy chewer.

Also, as to learning to love them:

I liked Carrot. He was adorable, and sweet and cute and beautiful. But he wasn't Pilau. I spent quite a bit of time feeling like, God I wish it were Pilau I was stroking and not this little puppy...then feeling guilty for effectively wishing the lad away like that. All my instinctive behaviours and styles of handling were off kilter...his reations so different to my sense memories of the same with Pilau, right down to the way he arched his back when I ruffed the fur on his rump, which Carrot never does.

In the first few days especially I wondered a few times if I'd made some horrible mistake. I knew, in the back of my mind that I'd eventually settle and grow to love him, but knowing it will happen isn;t the same as actually feeling it.

I felt self-conscious with him. Sometimes my manner felt false, like I was playing a role with him.

Then I started to feel a real sense of protectiveness and the beginnings of love...which made me feel guilty like I was somehow letting Pilau go by doing so.

Add in that he was a lot of work. High energy levels, he was either asleep or active, no middle ground. And he didn't seem to sleep anywhere near as much as puppies that age are meant to...and I am quite a sedentary person. I spend a lot of time in my own head. Dealing with a high maintenance pup after the years of slow and easy companionship was stressful, tiring, occasionally heart breaking and laden with a pervading sense of guilt that I was letting Pilau go and also that Carrot had no idea of any of what was in my mind, and that it wasn't his fault he wasn't Pilau.

Actually, though, looking back, I went through similar sorts of things with Pil when we got him. Wondering if I'd ever really know this strange little beast. Wondering if I'd made a mistake, feeling frazzled by the sudden explosion of energy I'd unleashed into my home :P

Somewhere along the way I realised I loved Carrot fiercely. I found myself feeling excited about coming home to him after I'd been at uni for the day. And we began to learn each others language and character. We're still learning. It's a journey and he's only 13 months old so changing too. But he's my lad now.
All part of the process. Good days, bad days, sure days, insecure days.

[limey]

Dana has it about right. With me it was cats, and I clearly remember resenting New Cat because he wasn't Old Cat, yet also knowing I had to have a pet, I couldn't live in a house without another living creature in it, so I had to just accept New Cat. Who was pretty feral and un-cuddly to start with. Helearnt not to be feral, and I certainly grew to love him. You'll get there,Trilby.x


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