I almost went to jail today! - Page 3

jdbutler · 08-27-2004, 08:20 AM

As my late father said to me, upon returning home and being arrested for flogging some expectorating hippies, "Congratulations, you're finally a United States Citizen".

Trilby · 08-27-2004, 08:07 AM

Hang in there, jane says. Honest to God, at least you're not really IN jail, which you pointed out, you are not made for anyway. I know it's a major pain, but at least you can stop and have a cuppa coffee and a danish whenever you want. Focus on the candy!

jane_says · 08-27-2004, 08:31 AM

Well, thanks guys. I am beginning to see the lighter side of this mess, anyway...
I just talked to the courthouse, and they have allegedly already made me a copy of my marriage license, and I can pick it up today or Monday. Now all I have to do is find someone willing to drive through race traffic so I can get a birth certificate. Did I mention the Nascar race is in town this weekend? I always get kind of spastic on race weekends, what with ten times the normal population in town. Drives me freaking nuts. I feel like drinking heavily tonight.

Troubleshooter · 08-27-2004, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jane_says

I feel like drinking heavily tonight.

Well, with NASCAR in town, everyone else will be.

wolf · 08-27-2004, 11:26 AM

Pennsylvania is set up such that you (at least I) only have limited interaction with the DMV. Every four years I have to go and get a new license picture taken, and that's about it, at least since the time I was 16 and had to go to the State Police Barracks for my learner's permit and then driver's license tests.

Because of my work schedule, I'm able to go for the picture at "off" times ... Early afternoon. I think the last time I was there the whole picture thing took about 15 minutes, including waiting for it to be printed.

The only downside is that I have to try to judge my place in line to avoid having the woman I've admitted several times be the one to process my license.

Everything else (motor vehicle registration, etc.) is handled by mail or online. I'm pretty anal about making sure that the paperwork is in order and ontime, so I've never had to pay extra for the FASTAG people to send stuff in for me.

ladysycamore · 08-27-2004, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

Pennsylvania is set up such that you (at least I) only have limited interaction with the DMV. Every four years I have to go and get a new license picture taken, and that's about it, at least since the time I was 16 and had to go to the State Police Barracks for my learner's permit and then driver's license tests.

Funny you should mention that: I'm due to get another mug shot taken soon. I think it'll be the first one I've ever taken that will look unflattering. Yeah, yeah, they are supposed to look that way right? Not mine!! (the ones from the past were all that! I was so happy!).

I'm just very particular getting my picture taken...even for the DMV.

warch · 08-27-2004, 12:02 PM

Its so important to keep safe, organized official personal documents. I'm learning this slowly. Its hard if you've been sort of a nomad. Like the DMV, the INS is also a good teacher. There is no grace period. I need to get organized with my health records too. I have lost track of immunizations.

I look at the bureaucratic line as a sort of outward bound ropes course. You know it will be a gauntlet going in, so work towards a resilient, stubborn, unfrustratable, and unrelenting mindset. It serves you to be as un-impassioned, direct as possible. And when the shit really goes down, begging seems to work better than shouting.

08-27-2004, 01:04 PM

What's really grim is when you've lost everything you've ever owned, including your all important paperwork. It is next to impossible to prove that you are who you are in such instances. Colorado will accept a notorized copy of your divorce or marriage degree, a notorized birth certificate, or a military ID. When I'd lost everything last year, I went down to get a copy of my divorce papers. The following coversation resulted:

Me: I need a notorized copy of my divorce degree

Clerk: That will be $22.75 and I'll need some ID.

Me: I lost all my paper-work. I DON'T have ID - that's what I need the divorce certificate for.

Clerk: Sorry, I cannot release that document without valid ID. Do you have a driver's license? That would work.

Me: They won't give me a license without valid ID. They said to come here.

Clerk: Sorry, can't help you. NEXT!

It was like being a character in a Kafka novel. Finally my ex got back to town (he'd been gone 3 weeks on a business trip) and had the decency to go down and get a notorized copy by showing them HIS ID, and he than handed the copy over to me and I took it down to the DMV and achieved official existance again. What an ordeal!

dar512 · 08-27-2004, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marichiko

What's really grim is when you've lost everything you've ever owned, including your all important paperwork.

I highly recommend getting a safe deposit box. The small ones don't cost that much. We have all our birth certificates, marriage license, and various financial documents in there.

jane_says · 08-27-2004, 02:34 PM

This morning when my sister came over to take my kids to school, since I am temporarily unable to drive (see "I almost went to jail today!"), a neighborhood kid came up and showed us a Diet Pepsi bottle with a tiny snake in it. A Copperhead, to be exact. I talked him out of it, explaining that Mr. Jane worked at a reptile store for many years and is licensed to own and breed venomous reptiles. Besides, he'd be in sixteen kinds of trouble for taking it to school. He reluctantly gave it up and told me that the Neighborhood Crazy Guy caught it crawling along a sidewalk late last night and gave it to him this morning.
It's really tiny, about eight to ten inches long, and slightly bigger around than a pencil. I haven't taken it out of the bottle yet, but I poked a few air holes in it. I don't mind snakes at all, but I'm not messing with a venomous beastie without supervision. My kids made a practice trip to the babysitter's today after school, so when the old man gets here we'll go pick them up and toss the little guy out somewhere in the country. He's really cute, and I wish I could keep him, but I guess I won't.

glatt · 08-27-2004, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jane_says

when the old man gets here we'll go pick them up and toss the little guy out somewhere in the country. He's really cute, and I wish I could keep him, but I guess I won't.

Do you have any community nature centers? I bet the ones around here would be interested in having a snake like that to add to their collection. Then you could visit it and watch it grow.

Undertoad · 08-27-2004, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by warch

I need to get organized with my health records too. I have lost track of immunizations.

Doesn't mom have all that stuff???

jane_says · 08-27-2004, 03:01 PM

Well, the old man just got home and informed me that my snake is not a Copperhead, it is a baby black racer, which he says looks remarkably similar (no, of course I'm not defending myself after misidentifying the damn thing) to a baby Copperhead. It's entirely possible he's humoring me on that one though. I'd like to take it to a nature preserve, but as I mentioned before, the town is pretty much in gridlock due to the stupid race. He says it won't make a good pet, so I guess I'll either wait till next week and drop it off there, or take him to his new country home in a few minutes.

jane_says · 08-27-2004, 06:36 PM

The snake is gone; we took him to the country and let him free near a creek. And I screwed up again. It wasn't what I thought he said it was, it was a ring-sumpin-er-other watersnake. I remembered afterward, when he pointed out he said it [i]wasn't[/] a black racer. I'm dumb.

tw · 08-29-2004, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jane_says

The snake is gone; ...

These silly women who think they can do without a man. After all, who would drive the car, identify the snake, and raise bail?

08-27-2004, 08:20 AM	#1
jdbutler If ya cant take a joke, Effya! Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Pittsburgh, PA Posts: 288	As my late father said to me, upon returning home and being arrested for flogging some expectorating hippies, "Congratulations, you're finally a United States Citizen". __________________ Phineas J. Twunt

08-27-2004, 11:26 AM	#5
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Pennsylvania is set up such that you (at least I) only have limited interaction with the DMV. Every four years I have to go and get a new license picture taken, and that's about it, at least since the time I was 16 and had to go to the State Police Barracks for my learner's permit and then driver's license tests. Because of my work schedule, I'm able to go for the picture at "off" times ... Early afternoon. I think the last time I was there the whole picture thing took about 15 minutes, including waiting for it to be printed. The only downside is that I have to try to judge my place in line to avoid having the woman I've admitted several times be the one to process my license. Everything else (motor vehicle registration, etc.) is handled by mail or online. I'm pretty anal about making sure that the paperwork is in order and ontime, so I've never had to pay extra for the FASTAG people to send stuff in for me. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

08-27-2004, 02:34 PM	#10
jane_says Colonist Extraordinaire Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: SW VA Posts: 200	There's a Snake on my Desk! This morning when my sister came over to take my kids to school, since I am temporarily unable to drive (see "I almost went to jail today!"), a neighborhood kid came up and showed us a Diet Pepsi bottle with a tiny snake in it. A Copperhead, to be exact. I talked him out of it, explaining that Mr. Jane worked at a reptile store for many years and is licensed to own and breed venomous reptiles. Besides, he'd be in sixteen kinds of trouble for taking it to school. He reluctantly gave it up and told me that the Neighborhood Crazy Guy caught it crawling along a sidewalk late last night and gave it to him this morning. It's really tiny, about eight to ten inches long, and slightly bigger around than a pencil. I haven't taken it out of the bottle yet, but I poked a few air holes in it. I don't mind snakes at all, but I'm not messing with a venomous beastie without supervision. My kids made a practice trip to the babysitter's today after school, so when the old man gets here we'll go pick them up and toss the little guy out somewhere in the country. He's really cute, and I wish I could keep him, but I guess I won't.

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08-27-2004, 08:07 AM	#2
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Hang in there, jane says. Honest to God, at least you're not really IN jail, which you pointed out, you are not made for anyway. I know it's a major pain, but at least you can stop and have a cuppa coffee and a danish whenever you want. Focus on the candy!

08-27-2004, 08:31 AM	#3
jane_says Colonist Extraordinaire Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: SW VA Posts: 200	Well, thanks guys. I am beginning to see the lighter side of this mess, anyway... I just talked to the courthouse, and they have allegedly already made me a copy of my marriage license, and I can pick it up today or Monday. Now all I have to do is find someone willing to drive through race traffic so I can get a birth certificate. Did I mention the Nascar race is in town this weekend? I always get kind of spastic on race weekends, what with ten times the normal population in town. Drives me freaking nuts. I feel like drinking heavily tonight.

08-27-2004, 12:02 PM	#7
warch lurkin old school Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Minnesota Posts: 2,796	Its so important to keep safe, organized official personal documents. I'm learning this slowly. Its hard if you've been sort of a nomad. Like the DMV, the INS is also a good teacher. There is no grace period. I need to get organized with my health records too. I have lost track of immunizations. I look at the bureaucratic line as a sort of outward bound ropes course. You know it will be a gauntlet going in, so work towards a resilient, stubborn, unfrustratable, and unrelenting mindset. It serves you to be as un-impassioned, direct as possible. And when the shit really goes down, begging seems to work better than shouting.

08-27-2004, 01:04 PM	#8
marichiko Guest Posts: n/a	What's really grim is when you've lost everything you've ever owned, including your all important paperwork. It is next to impossible to prove that you are who you are in such instances. Colorado will accept a notorized copy of your divorce or marriage degree, a notorized birth certificate, or a military ID. When I'd lost everything last year, I went down to get a copy of my divorce papers. The following coversation resulted: Me: I need a notorized copy of my divorce degree Clerk: That will be $22.75 and I'll need some ID. Me: I lost all my paper-work. I DON'T have ID - that's what I need the divorce certificate for. Clerk: Sorry, I cannot release that document without valid ID. Do you have a driver's license? That would work. Me: They won't give me a license without valid ID. They said to come here. Clerk: Sorry, can't help you. NEXT! It was like being a character in a Kafka novel. Finally my ex got back to town (he'd been gone 3 weeks on a business trip) and had the decency to go down and get a notorized copy by showing them HIS ID, and he than handed the copy over to me and I took it down to the DMV and achieved official existance again. What an ordeal!

08-27-2004, 03:01 PM	#13
jane_says Colonist Extraordinaire Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: SW VA Posts: 200	Well, the old man just got home and informed me that my snake is not a Copperhead, it is a baby black racer, which he says looks remarkably similar (no, of course I'm not defending myself after misidentifying the damn thing) to a baby Copperhead. It's entirely possible he's humoring me on that one though. I'd like to take it to a nature preserve, but as I mentioned before, the town is pretty much in gridlock due to the stupid race. He says it won't make a good pet, so I guess I'll either wait till next week and drop it off there, or take him to his new country home in a few minutes.

08-27-2004, 06:36 PM	#14
jane_says Colonist Extraordinaire Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: SW VA Posts: 200	The snake is gone; we took him to the country and let him free near a creek. And I screwed up again. It wasn't what I thought he said it was, it was a ring-sumpin-er-other watersnake. I remembered afterward, when he pointed out he said it [i]wasn't[/] a black racer. I'm dumb.

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