Humor...I Need Humor... - Page 251

Shawnee123 · 01-14-2011, 01:36 PM

Johnny Fuckerfaster

plthijinx · 01-16-2011, 04:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

Johnny Fuckerfaster

i'm tryin' S123! i'm tryin'!

footfootfoot · 01-14-2011, 02:08 PM

"Is there a Fukbrache at this school?"
"Fuck break? We're lucky to get a coffee break."

plthijinx · 01-16-2011, 04:43 AM

so this guy ran into god! god says "ask me anything" so he asked him "why did you make women so beautiful?" he says "so you'd like them!" then he asked "why'd you make them smell so good?" again he says "so you'd like them!" so then he asked "why'd you make them so stupid?" then he said "so they'd like you!"

GunMaster357 · 01-17-2011, 10:32 AM

Male/Female equality will be achieved on the day when an important position will be awarded to an incompetent woman.

Lamplighter · 01-17-2011, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GunMaster357

Male/Female equality will be achieved on the day when an important position will be awarded to an incompetent woman.

Maybe in the long, long run that's a reason to vote for Sarah Palin to the US Presidency

monster · 01-17-2011, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lamplighter

Maybe in the long, long run that's a reason to vote for Sarah Palin to the US Presidency

scarier... but can we please avoid politics in this one thread? please?

Gravdigr · 01-19-2011, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

scarier... but can we please avoid politics in this one thread? please?

Prolly not...

xoxoxoBruce · 01-17-2011, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GunMaster357

Male/Female equality will be achieved on the day when an important position will be awarded to an incompetent woman.

There are no incompetent women, my ex told me so.

monster · 01-17-2011, 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GunMaster357

Male/Female equality will be achieved on the day when an important position will be awarded to an incompetent woman.

scary.

Shawnee123 · 01-19-2011, 04:15 PM

Oldie, but timely:

Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio :

You might be from Ohio (pronounced Uh-hi-uh), if:

1. You think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange.
2. You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.
3. You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
4. You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candied ones.
5. "Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means "south."
6. You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
7. You can spell, and pronounce, words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta and you know which letter is doubled in Cincinnati .
8. "Vacation! " means spending a day at Cedar Point in the summer and deer hunting in the fall.
9. You measure distance in minutes
10. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
11. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
12. You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
13. You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July.
14. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. For example:
"Where's my coat at?"
15. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
16. You think of the major four food groups as corn, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
17. You carry jumper cables in your car.
18. You know what 'pop' is.
19. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
20. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
21. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.
22. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports.

Pete Zicato · 01-19-2011, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

"Where's my coat at, asshole?"

FIFY.

monster · 02-18-2011, 08:30 AM

Aliantha · 01-20-2011, 05:40 PM

Name: australian weather map.jpg
Views: 933
Size: 73.7 KB

Lamplighter · 01-20-2011, 07:08 PM

From G-sons FaceBook

From Bill Hicks (edited)

Quote:

You never see a positive drug story on the news.
They always have the same LSD story. You've all seen it:
"Today a young man on acid...thought he could fly ...jumped out of a building...what a tragedy!"

He's an idiot.

If he thought he could fly why didn't he take off from the ground first?
Check it out?
You don't see geese lined up to catch elevators to fly south; they fly from the ground.

He's an idiot. He's dead. Good! We lost a moron?
Celebrate. There's one less moron in the world.

01-14-2011, 01:36 PM	#1
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Johnny Fuckerfaster __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

01-14-2011, 02:08 PM	#3
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	"Is there a Fukbrache at this school?" "Fuck break? We're lucky to get a coffee break." __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

01-16-2011, 04:43 AM	#4
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	so this guy ran into god! god says "ask me anything" so he asked him "why did you make women so beautiful?" he says "so you'd like them!" then he asked "why'd you make them smell so good?" again he says "so you'd like them!" so then he asked "why'd you make them so stupid?" then he said "so they'd like you!" __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

01-17-2011, 10:32 AM	#5
GunMaster357 Professor Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Brest (FRANCE) Posts: 1,837	Male/Female equality will be achieved on the day when an important position will be awarded to an incompetent woman. __________________ "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

01-19-2011, 04:15 PM	#11
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Oldie, but timely: Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio : You might be from Ohio (pronounced Uh-hi-uh), if: 1. You think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange. 2. You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction. 3. You live less than 30 miles from some college or university. 4. You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candied ones. 5. "Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means "south." 6. You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths. 7. You can spell, and pronounce, words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta and you know which letter is doubled in Cincinnati . 8. "Vacation! " means spending a day at Cedar Point in the summer and deer hunting in the fall. 9. You measure distance in minutes 10. Your school classes were canceled because of cold. 11. Your school classes were canceled because of heat. 12. You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. 13. You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July. 14. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. For example: "Where's my coat at?" 15. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. 16. You think of the major four food groups as corn, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows. 17. You carry jumper cables in your car. 18. You know what 'pop' is. 19. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. 20. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. 21. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown. 22. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

02-18-2011, 08:30 AM	#13
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	__________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

01-20-2011, 05:40 PM	#14
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	__________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

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