Tasteless Jokes - Page 23

Spexxvet · 09-07-2007, 08:07 AM

How is an Italian woman like a hockey goalie? They both wear the same pads for three periods.

sikcboy · 11-01-2007, 02:09 PM

pikey goes to the doctors and asks for the pill for his 11 year old daughter, is she sexualy active?, the doctor asks
no,replied the pikey, she just lies there like her fuckin mother!

Sundae · 11-01-2007, 03:20 PM

Paedo - check
Incest - check
Sexism - check

The perfect tasteless joke
(I laughed)

DanaC · 11-01-2007, 06:35 PM

There's a new car on the market. Great for families. You can fit two kids in the back and one in the boot...it's called the Renault McCann.

lookout123 · 11-01-2007, 06:45 PM

*checks calendar* yep, it's been long enough. that's funny dana.

DanaC · 11-01-2007, 06:47 PM

*Grins* yeah.....I think I've been awfully restrained waiting...

sikcboy · 11-02-2007, 11:12 AM

how do ya make a woman scream twice?
fuck her up the arse then wipe it on the curtains!

sikcboy · 11-02-2007, 11:15 AM

Husband emerged from the bathroom naked, and was climbing into bed, when he's wife complained as usual "I have a headache."
"Perfect" says husband, "I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with asprin. You can take it orally or as a suppository, its up to you.

I was walking down the road earlier, and there was a blind man at the cash machine he said to me, "excuse me sir, can you please check my balance for me?"
I said to him, "of course I don't mind." And I pushed him over.

DanaC · 11-04-2007, 11:17 AM

lol that second one was very funny

sikcboy · 11-06-2007, 01:39 PM

why are there so many pedophiles in england?

i think it must be all those sexy kids!

Rexmons · 11-06-2007, 02:54 PM

not super dirty but pretty funny i thought:

Little Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled. So the little boy goes to his parents' room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand what politics is now."

"Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.

Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.

I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.

Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!

queequeger · 11-06-2007, 05:24 PM

Oh my god, I laughed my ass off at that last one, rex.

trulytasteless · 05-27-2008, 09:33 AM

alright i got two awesome ones:

Q: whats the difference between a regular jew and a black jew?
A: the black jew has to sit at the back of the oven.

Q: why do girls love jesus?
A: because he was hung

trulytasteless

sickboy · 08-19-2008, 10:46 AM

So many crap jokes repeated like 5 times... you guys suck.. I thought this was a tasteless joke page, not an unfunny racist one.
anyway, heres some that haven't been done yet on here, getting progressively worse...

Q: What do you call a female police officer who shaves her pubes?
A: Cuntstubble

Q: Whats got 8 legs and scares the fuck out of women?
A: Gangrape

Q: Whats the difference between Madeline McCann and Madeline McCann jokes?
A: The jokes will get old (Although this one doesn't

)

Q: Why did the necrophiliac get caught?
A: Some rotten cunt split on him!

Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on it's teddy bear

squirell nutkin · 08-19-2008, 08:04 PM

knock knock.
who's there?
911.
911 who?
What? You forgot already?

09-07-2007, 08:07 AM	#1
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	How is an Italian woman like a hockey goalie? They both wear the same pads for three periods. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

11-01-2007, 02:09 PM	#2
sikcboy infectious waste case Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: mooon base alpha 5 Posts: 52	pikey goes to the doctors and asks for the pill for his 11 year old daughter, is she sexualy active?, the doctor asks no,replied the pikey, she just lies there like her fuckin mother! __________________ do drugs fck every one up, or is it just that fcked up people take too many drugs?

11-01-2007, 03:20 PM	#3
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Paedo - check Incest - check Sexism - check The perfect tasteless joke (I laughed) __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

11-01-2007, 06:45 PM	#5
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	checks calendar yep, it's been long enough. that's funny dana. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

11-02-2007, 11:12 AM	#7
sikcboy infectious waste case Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: mooon base alpha 5 Posts: 52	how do ya make a woman scream twice? fuck her up the arse then wipe it on the curtains! __________________ do drugs fck every one up, or is it just that fcked up people take too many drugs?

11-01-2007, 06:35 PM	#4
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	There's a new car on the market. Great for families. You can fit two kids in the back and one in the boot...it's called the Renault McCann.

11-01-2007, 06:47 PM	#6
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Grins yeah.....I think I've been awfully restrained waiting...

11-02-2007, 11:15 AM	#8
sikcboy infectious waste case Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: mooon base alpha 5 Posts: 52	Husband emerged from the bathroom naked, and was climbing into bed, when he's wife complained as usual "I have a headache." "Perfect" says husband, "I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with asprin. You can take it orally or as a suppository, its up to you. I was walking down the road earlier, and there was a blind man at the cash machine he said to me, "excuse me sir, can you please check my balance for me?" I said to him, "of course I don't mind." And I pushed him over. __________________ do drugs fck every one up, or is it just that fcked up people take too many drugs?

11-04-2007, 11:17 AM	#9
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	lol that second one was very funny

11-06-2007, 01:39 PM	#10
sikcboy infectious waste case Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: mooon base alpha 5 Posts: 52	why are there so many pedophiles in england? i think it must be all those sexy kids! __________________ do drugs fck every one up, or is it just that fcked up people take too many drugs?

11-06-2007, 02:54 PM	#11
Rexmons - Kavkaz United - Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 613	not super dirty but pretty funny i thought: Little Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled. So the little boy goes to his parents' room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand what politics is now." "Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit." A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant. Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren. Your son, Chad P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home! __________________ "Life's a bitch but God forbid the bitch divorce me..."

11-06-2007, 05:24 PM	#12
queequeger Hypercharismatic Telepathical Knight Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: The armpit of the Universe... Augusta, GA Posts: 365	Oh my god, I laughed my ass off at that last one, rex. __________________ Hoocha, hoocha, hoocha... lobster.

05-27-2008, 09:33 AM	#13
trulytasteless sttttudderrr much? Join Date: May 2008 Location: somewhere in my head Posts: 4	alright i got two awesome ones: Q: whats the difference between a regular jew and a black jew? A: the black jew has to sit at the back of the oven. Q: why do girls love jesus? A: because he was hung trulytasteless

08-19-2008, 10:46 AM	#14
sickboy Kinda New Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1	So many crap jokes repeated like 5 times... you guys suck.. I thought this was a tasteless joke page, not an unfunny racist one. anyway, heres some that haven't been done yet on here, getting progressively worse... Q: What do you call a female police officer who shaves her pubes? A: Cuntstubble Q: Whats got 8 legs and scares the fuck out of women? A: Gangrape Q: Whats the difference between Madeline McCann and Madeline McCann jokes? A: The jokes will get old (Although this one doesn't ) Q: Why did the necrophiliac get caught? A: Some rotten cunt split on him! Q: How do you make a baby cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody cock on it's teddy bear

08-19-2008, 08:04 PM	#15
squirell nutkin has a second hand user title Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: in a Nut House Posts: 2,017	knock knock. who's there? 911. 911 who? What? You forgot already?

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