Poems- Not your own.

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That's...uh...yeah, kinda.

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A dirty limerick:

There once was a lady named Jill
Who tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil



Thanks to Zip for turning me on to the website from which the limerick came.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Nobody Loves Me...

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Somebody broke into my house.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Sort of a poem...

[xoxoxoBruce]

Sailor Sam in Cosmopolitan 1908...

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***DIRTY LIMERICK AHEAD***

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***END DiRTY LIMERICK ZONE***

[xoxoxoBruce]

....

[Diaphone Jim]

I am not a thief or a godless heathen
There is no such thing as body stealing
Clothes and jewelry are left behind
To take those would be a crime

We resurrectionist are men of science
Without us anatomist would be blind
To know the inner-workings of a body
Why our profession is the noblest of mankind

It is a shame that we must operate in stealth
Even the moon betrays our work
Flat wooden shovels dampen the noise
A rope wrapped around the neck to pull out bodies


The conditions are most deplorable
Putrefaction is usually the norm
And with stench comes disease
Smallpox is what we heed

We are looked upon as ghouls of the grave
But look at the good we make!
Teeth are used for dentures
Wigs are made from a their hair
We provide a service beyond compare

The vanguard of science should be applauded
Instead, mobs threaten us with violence
Ungrateful, superstitious peasants
Don't they know we are renaissance resurrectionists?


Thomas Coston

From PoemHunter.com

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4-4-4-4-5?-4, the hell?

Also, rhyme or don't, geez.

Yeah, that's all I got to bitch about today.

Other than that, though, I kinda liked it.

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Crossing The Bar

by Alfred Lord Tennyson


Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;

For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.

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Sister Joan

by Paul Gilmartin


Sister Joan, age 42, ignores the desert sun,
The stranded church bus smoking, no sign of anyone.
Buzzards circle overhead, panic starts to set.
The kids are getting restless, her habit's soaked with sweat.
The minutes become hours, she wobbles in the heat.
Then, a distant engine roars, approaching from the East.
She squints through horn-rimmed glasses, her pure heart skips a beat.
Snake McGinty's Harley Hog, parts the dusty heat.
Black leather-clad from head to toe, his eyelids barely open,
Sister Joan says, "Holy Ghost, please tell me that you're jokin'."
He parks his bike, stands six foot four, then gives her a nod.
Through leather pants his manhood shows, she rolls her eyes at God.
"Havin' trouble?", he barely mumbles. "Yes sir", she replies.
He pops the hood, takes off his shirt, she covers up her eyes.
"Kids", she says, "Back on the bus. Everyone be good."
Her fingers part, her eyes take in his reflection off the hood.
She grips her rosary tight with guilt and stares down at her socks.
Her mind protects her vows with God, but her body picks the locks.
He bends to check the fan belt, her nipples say, "Hello".
Her eyes climb up his leather chaps like a snail with vertigo.
She shuts her eyes and shakes her head, her legs start feeling funny.
"Lord", she says, "For work like this, I'm making lousy money."
He shuts the hood, "My name is Snake, I'm wanted in five states."
She says, "Snake you're my forbidden fruit, and I need a little taste."
The kids look on in disbelief. The kisses slow, then faster.
Cheering rocks the school bus, till she says "Snake let's ditch these bastards."
As they left, the kids screamed "No", she turned around and waved.
Her next confession killed the priest and lasted seven days.
For years the scandal rocked the church, but she regained their trust.
She still teaches Sunday school, but she doesn't drive the bus.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Leda...