Taking the kids to the bar

[it]

If you don't mind the nitpicking, since it's something I've researched relatively recently:

Originally Posted by anonymous

In more progressive states the courts are seeing 50-50 joint custody as being in the best interests of the kids.

People often mistake the meaning of "joint custody" to mean 50/50. The most common practice in virtually all states within the US is joint legal custody & primary caregiver physical custody, which usually means it's still around 5 days mom 2 days dad, or even every other week arrangements.

The research on the matter suggests the best interest of the kids is joint physical custody - the one where both parents have 50% of the time with the children (or within the range of 40-60%), who do suffer in well being initially but at later ages are almost on pair in all measurements with children of non divorced parents. Joint legal custody alone provides little to no testable benefits on the child's well being when compared to visitation rights (Both of which have both parents spending more or less the same amount of time with the child).

(I realize all of this is besides the point, which I have little to no opinion about because a bar can mean anything from an almost-stripclub with loud eardrum tearing music and college kids doing belly button shots to a nice family friendly restaurant that also has alcohol... So go on, nothing to see here).

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by anonymous

I'd think the biggest problem in this scenario is thinking that a bar (any bar, however tony- upscale not subtoad- is an ok place to take kids short of escaping imminent peril.

The thing is, around here there is a very wide and nuanced spectrum of what some people might call a "bar." Live music events are at full saturation in my city, and alcohol is served at most of them, but within those parameters there are places which are downright kid-friendly, all the way to seedy dive bars where no human being ought to go, let alone children.

But based on the later description of the bar in question, hell-fucking-no.

[Undertoad]

Wull,

Having spent a good deal of time in drinking establishments at a young age, the location doesn't really matter TOO much. It's not like you learn to be an alcoholic by watching other alcoholics when you're young. Bar, restaurant, library, it's all roughly the same experience to a four-year-old, except for the volume. One could get away with it if the "general" behavior in the bar is OK.

It's that the protective instincts of the moms that did not kick in, and did not kick in together, that is actually the worrisome part. "We are going to take these children to see men we would like to get it on with, in an unpredictable setting where things could go horribly wrong," is the worrisome part. Not "we get with the men and then wait six weeks to determine that they are fine upstanding individuals (twelve weeks if one is a drummer) before introducing the young ones to them by taking them to a neutral location first, then next week to the bar if everything goes well".

[anonymous]

@cf
this is a bar for drinking that occasionally has live music as opposed to a music venue that serves alcohol.

@toad
They weren't there for the musicians, they both have guys that they are into, this was most likely a time for them to hang out together and rather than do it at a place that put the kids first, eg mini golf, chucky cheese, pixar film, playground, they opted for a place that appealed to them and the kids were collateral appendages.

[Undertoad]

Ah see I'm always reading the musicians into their pants. My confusion.

[monster]

I want to be charitable towards the moms, but I'm finding it hard to come up with anything redeeming about this situation. everyone else said it

[infinite monkey]

I don't know. Some couple brought their INFANT baby to see Insidious Ch. 3 today, early showing. The baby behaved better than the whispering couple who seemed to use a lot of words containing the 'ssssss' sound, during their very important discourse. They did stfu after I asked them, nicely, to quit talking.

Really, an infant.

The 3rd installment of this series was good. The first two were so-so. Great jump scares and a decent couple of backstories. It even played on my heartstrings a little.

[infinite monkey]

And five times is not 40 plus a donkey!

[monster]

I swear I replied again to this thread ten mins ago but.....

At least bars aren't smoky anymore. Well not here, any way. Are they still in other places?


And then it occurred to me that when anon said "at least one mom was drinking alcohol", maybe he meant that as a redeeming factor rather than a criticism?

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by monster

At least bars aren't smoky anymore. Well not here, any way. Are they still in other places?

Smoky bars are still a thing here in good ol' KY. Just about the only place smokers can smoke, besides home, and the car...

[monster]

(because parenting is really only possible with a little help)

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by monster

(because parenting is really only possible with a little help)

Amen. I need a top up.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

As opposed to being on somebody's back porch with the kids playing in the yard or the kiddie pool, and both of them drinking alcohol... which happens frequently in every town.

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

Not sure that is a fair comparison. At a bar you can't control what everyone around you is talking about, pawing each other, slurring and staggering, saying inappropriate things and so on. I don't think it's great for kids to be around drunks either at home or abroad. But if the back proch is anything like a dive bar then CPS should probably pay a visit.

I was addressing the fact that one of them was drinking alcohol is neither unusual and likely irrelevant. You are translating drinking alcohol into drunk, which is not a given. You are also throwing in pawing, slurring, and staggering at 7 to 8 PM, which is not a given either. While I think the kids shouldn't be there, everyone seems to be projecting the worst dive bar scenario they can think of.

[sexobon]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

... While I think the kids shouldn't be there, everyone seems to be projecting the worst dive bar scenario they can think of.

You mean like since there was bluegrass music, there must've been banjos?

[xoxoxoBruce]

Not at all, not that banjos is a bad thing.