Too big or too small? (nsfw)

[monster]

Let's face it, men do what they're told. by their mothers, wives, girlfriends, friends and the media.... (in that order) So if they end up single and alone... guess who's dictating their likes......






<<<<<<<<<< (for those who need cues........)

[infinite monkey]

Sometimes I feel really naive, because honestly, I am not the woman who has disdain for women who are thin. That my words conveyed that I in some way condoned this disdain...wow. Really?

Because I am the woman who compliments other women all the time. Your hair looks great! I love that color on you. You could wear a burlap bag and look good, girl.

You're so right about the men's magazines though. Their words around here that I've read say that most men don't want that perfection thing. So either they're fibbing, or they don't pay attention to those magazines.

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

That my words conveyed that I in some way condoned this disdain...wow. Really?

No no, your words didn't convey it. I didn't mean to sound bitchy at you personally. The "too skinny" vibe is just a sore spot with me, I tend to push back on it too hard.

[infinite monkey]

I can understand that. I certainly have sore spots of my own.

But really, I liked your post.

[BigV]

Hey Clodfobble

I think you've approached this question from a perspective different than my perspective, and not just the fact that you're a woman and I'm a man. When I was answering Aliantha's question, I read, and answered it according to my personal feelings about what I find attractive. What I hear in your statement, especially with respect to the magazine and clothing, is that a certain range of physical characteristics are being showcased *for a definite purpose*, to sell something.

And then after that, I feel our opinions are very similar. Here's why. Physical appearance is something that can get my attention, and help me form a first impression. This is true for a woman I see in real life and it's true for a picture of a woman I see in a magazine. I'm a visual person (like most people). But that only goes so far. For there to be a real attraction beyond attention, I need to know more. I would talk to the woman, and see how things turn out from there. I would read the advertisement or article and see how things turn out from there.

The thread title actually says "Too big or too small?" and I think the answer is no to both. Neither woman in the picture is too big or too small. It was just my own thought process that connected "What do you think?" and nakey women to "Let me tell you what I find attractive. Maybe I drove the conversation in that direction, who knows.

But what is attractive, what is too big or too small, those kinds of questions require context. I offered my answer within the context of what I like to see and touch. I would refine my answer if the context were what image increases sales the most.

[Aliantha]

I'm going to respond to the discussion from my very own personal standpoint and experience.

When I was younger and at my best, I was still a shapely woman, meaning that I was never what anyone would describe as skinny or even thin probably would have been stretching it. Slim maybe at a pinch, but even then I wouldn't have agreed. At the time I felt like I was fat though, and didn't really appreciate the attention i got from men on a real level. Not until a couple of weeks ago when I was having a chat with an old friend who was one of my main party pals back before kids and all when we were both single.

I was saying how she had this pair of hotpants that I was always jealous of when she'd wear them out because she just looked so good in them. Her response to that really made me think. She said, "yeah well, I was always jealous that you were the one men were always buying drinks for and the one being asked to dance."

I'd never really looked at it that way, but i guess it's fair to say that we're all wearing blinders a lot of the time. I always thought she got plenty of attention, but apparently she wasn't feeling the love. We see what we want to see from our own perspective, and in doing so, sometimes we totally miss all the good stuff that's coming our way, and that's a shame.

Over the years, I've come to realise that it doesn't matter how many horny blokes buy you drinks in a club or a pub, it's the one who actually wants to talk to you and get to know you that's worth knowing, rather than the one who thinks he'll get in your pants once he gets you drunk. And it's not the guy that wolfwhistles that matters. It's the guy that notices you having trouble with your groceries and offers to help, and believe me, as far as eye candy goes, it's not usually your typical stud who's doing those things. He's usually the one standing there waiting for you to jump his bones just because he condescended enough to share the same air space with you.

Through the course of my life, I've had men from both sides of the coin, and I can honestly say, that I'd rather be with someone who appreciates me for the beauty you can't see, rather than the one who can't see past the surface. Fortunately, I found a man who loves me for the whole lot, and not just the tits and arse I keep shoving in his face.

[tw]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

... it's the one who actually wants to talk to you and get to know you that's worth knowing, rather than the one who thinks he'll get in your pants once he gets you drunk. ... it's not usually your typical stud who's doing those things.

The Economist once discussed this. The woman wants a man who will be faithful and responsible father to the kids. But she may also want a good fling. The point was that is important for the gene pool and survival of the species. That 20% of kids are actually fathered by someone who is not really their father.

In the early days of matching for kidney transplants, that 20% number was confirmed. What is true today even applied to the so ethical and squeaky clean 1950s. Being desirable (whatever that might mean) only makes both choices easier.

Is the one on the left an adult?

[Aliantha]

Oh well, 66% of my kids were fathered by someone other than my husband.

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by BigV

what? Like... to my sternum?

Sternum?


















Damn near killed 'em.

[Bullitt]

My current girlfriend is a size 12 FWIW. I tell super skinny chicks to eat a cheeseburger *shrug*

[ZenGum]

After careful thought, I'd choose the one on the right.

Cause of the two, I reckon she'd be the one who knows how to cook.

[Aliantha]

I have a plaque in my kitchen that says, "Skinny cooks can't be trusted!" lol

I suppose I'll have to take it down when I lose all my weight, not that I plan on getting to skinny.

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by Bullitt

I tell super skinny chicks to eat a cheeseburger *shrug*

And when you do, you're being an ass. *shrug*

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

And when you do, you're being an ass. *shrug*

Having had periods when I was overly thin and unable to gain weight (along with times when I was the other way around) for various health reasons, I agree.

My youngest niece is tiny. She's started gaining height, and is now quite tall, but she is still very very slim. I suspect she may always be. She eats as much as any 13 year old. And though she mostly eats a healthy diet, she also likes to pack in a cheeseburger when she can. McDonalds seems to be one of her and her friends' regular haunts.

The truth is whatever shape you are as a woman someone will make you feel shit about it, even if that someone is only yourself. Mostly though it's other people. And yes, women can be bitchy and jealous and all that, but men make casual comments all the time about women's body shape either to their faces or in their hearing.

It seeps into every part of our culture. A constant running commentary, of which this thread is part, on what shape of woman is attractive.

Positive, negative, anti-fat, anti-thin, health-related, beauty related, real and fantasy women. All the time, everywhere in every possible public forum, in all media, across the world, how women should look, act, sound, earn, parent, dress, plan their families, shape their bodies.

[Aliantha]

Do you think men have similar pressures?