Baby, Middle, Big

[Aliantha]

My parents had three kids. My older brother died when he was five, then there was me, and then my younger brother.

I've always been the fuck up of our family. Not dumb, but just never seemed to make the right choices, especially when I was younger. My younger brother is a qualified medical professional who is currently making a killing (to the tune of 30k/month) on the stockmarket and has the big house and all the toys and investments. He's the golden child for sure, except he and his wife can't concieve a child and he's pretty screwed up emotionally. We're not mates, but we love each other and spend time together as much as possible with our vastly different lifestyles.

I don't know if birth order has anything to do with that, but I think we're both blessed in our own ways. We have different priorities and world views and always have. Probably always will. Makes for some interesting dinner table convos anyway.

eta: I should add that my brother has always been concerned about what people think about him and has measured his success in financial terms. I on the other hand have always considered my inter personal relationships to be a marker of my successes. I guess that's where our differences spring from, because I really don't give a crap about status symbols. As long as I can feed, clothe and shelter my family I'm happy.

[DanaC]

I was, for some years, the fuck up of the family :p Though my family were kind enough not to point that out.

I was always the academic one, and the writer. Martin had wisdom and art. I think he was probably born wise, because I cannot ever remember a time when he wasn't. He was also the brave one. Loved his death defying activities (potholing, climbing,diving, parachuting, paragliding etc). He didn't lke the college environment, so went into working with his hands (building trade, joinery and plastering). Over the years though he has educated himself past the levels of most people with a degree. There aren't many topics that he doesn't know something about. He reads about all sorts of scientific stuff. A lot of which goes over my head. Someone I'd honestly describe as an autodidact.

He's extremely competant. At pretty much everything he does. I am the scatty one. If I can't do something, I'll give up quite easily and look to someone else to do it :p Technical stuff, I mean. Martin will just quietly work it through until he has it figured out. As an adult most of his work has been design type stuff. He and my ex had a design house, designing products for the counter-culture. Now he builds dry stone walls and does garden landscaping and whatnot.

Growing up, Martin was my hero. I adored him. That's not to say we didn't occasionally drive each other up the wall, but for the most part I adored him and he indulged me. Consequently I was something of a tomboy. I wanted to be doing the things he was doing and followed him and his mates about. Bless them they were pretty good about it and mostly were happy to let me tag along.

It's funny watching the girls now. There's a 4 year age difference and Meels is a really good Big Sister to Soph. She really goes out of her way to do fun things with her, and involve her in stuff. They're very good friends. Even now, with Meels aged 17, in college and with a boyfriend.

[Trilby]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

dad liked me better.

I posit that that is why you are so "together" and not a typical female wreck - your father liked you.

[DanaC]

Funnily enough, I always got on better with dad than Martin did as kids. Dad was much stricter with Martin than with me. Second child syndrome, he'd relaxed a bit by the time I came along. Martin was calm enough that dad's gruffness bounced off him. I just didn't believe the grumpiness.

[Trilby]

Originally Posted by DanaC

Funnily enough, I always got on better with dad than Martin did as kids.

And DanaC proves my point!

[monster]

My dad hated me. He threw me out and I sued him for financial support.....

[Clodfobble]

Yeah, but you had a solid relationship with your stepdad, didn't you? Maybe that filled the need.

[monster]

nope. no relationships with any stepdads whatsofucking ever. My only official stepdad was old enough to be my granddad. but I didn't live with her for a long time before she married him.

eta, I heard from the guy who posted here that I have a new stepdad..... but I haven't been in contact with my mom for 10.5 years

[Clodfobble]

I don't know why, but I find the image of a "new stepdad" very amusing. I picture him with price tags--but discount ones.

[monster]

so....
let me tell you about him...


because I do actually know him...


no, there isn't enought time.....





The report i got was that he wheeled her up the aisle in a wheelbarrow. I have no reason to disbelieve this

[kerosene]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

I'm an older sister to a younger brother. I was the good, responsible, smart one who made the good grades and did everything right, and he's the malcontent, irresponsible slacker who still lives with my mom at age 27.

Growing up, we knew exactly which roles we filled. We joked that mom liked my brother better, but that was okay because dad liked me better. Our parents denied it the few times they heard us say this in earshot of them, but we knew (and still know) that it's true. I often felt bad for him, because people would always say versions of "why can't you be like your sister," and I knew that must suck. There were also plenty of times I resented the fact that my mom continuously gave him anything and everything he wanted and never made him get a job or take any kind of responsibility for himself. Overall, I mostly see him as a product of his environment, so I don't blame him for who he is, and I enjoy spending time with him, but we're distinctly brother-and-sister, not friends.

This is pretty much exactly how mine is.

I find this topic fascinating, also.