Why Does My Reading Make People Mad? - Page 2

glatt · 03-30-2009, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juniper

My husband dislikes when I read. He says it's "antisocial."

He's right. You simply can't socialize if your attention is on reading a book. When you are reading, you are not socializing. You can't do both at the same time.

When a person reads, they are checking out of reality for a while. It's fun. I like to read. It's escapism. But you can escape too much. I don't know you or your husband. But if he's saying you are being anti-social by reading, he probably feels like you aren't paying enough attention to him. I know my wife doesn't like it when I spend a lot of time on the computer. She says it makes me distant.

xoxoxoBruce · 03-30-2009, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

But if he's saying you are being anti-social by reading, he probably feels like you aren't paying enough attention to him.

There are millions of husbands that wish their wives would read more... a lot more.

Quote:

I know my wife doesn't like it when I spend a lot of time on the computer. She says it makes me distant.

Strange, you can be sitting 3 ft away, but reading or surfing rather than watching the same TV show she is, and you're distant. But same position and watching the same show is OK.
Hmmm, I wonder if it's because they want to know what you're thinking? If you are reading or surfing they've no idea where you're thoughts are.

Shawnee123 · 03-30-2009, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Strange, you can be sitting 3 ft away, but reading or surfing rather than watching the same TV show she is, and you're distant. But same position and watching the same show is OK. .

Then if you talk during the show you get shushed.

Quote:

Hmmm, I wonder if it's because they want to know what you're thinking? If you are reading or surfing they've no idea where you're thoughts are.

Best to not know where my thoughts are, so I've been told.

Juniper · 03-30-2009, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Strange, you can be sitting 3 ft away, but reading or surfing rather than watching the same TV show she is, and you're distant. But same position and watching the same show is OK.
Hmmm, I wonder if it's because they want to know what you're thinking? If you are reading or surfing they've no idea where you're thoughts are.

You are so right. He'd have a fit if I told him to turn off the TV, it's antisocial to watch TV when we could be having a conversation.

I'll be reading a book while he's watching TV, and I'm being antisocial.

He doesn't get upset when I'm reading books for school, as long as I roll my eyes and claim that I don't like the book, I just have to read it.

But I really didn't intend to bitch about my husband in this thread. It's other people too. Mostly other people. I'm still kind of upset at being called stupid yesterday for reading a book and missing out on all that first-rate rah rah.

xoxoxoBruce · 03-30-2009, 12:15 PM

Maybe her daughter was doing the rah rah.

We know it wasn't just about your spouse, but it seems that's a common problem for readers.

03-30-2009, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

There are millions of husbands that wish their wives would read more... a lot more.

Strange, you can be sitting 3 ft away, but reading or surfing rather than watching the same TV show she is, and you're distant. But same position and watching the same show is OK.
Hmmm, I wonder if it's because they want to know what you're thinking? If you are reading or surfing they've no idea where you're thoughts are.

This is so spot-on! My ex wanted me to watch TV with him instead of sitting with him and reading. I felt like reading next to him while he was watching TV was a way to be near him even when he was doing something I wasn't interested in, but he didn't see it that way...

DanaC · 03-30-2009, 11:06 AM

Unfortunately, Juni's in a difficult position on that score. She has two kinds of reading to do: course reading, and her own pleasure reading. It may be that he is responding to the entirety. It would be like you getting half an hour a week on your comp playing a game, and also working thirty hours a week on your computer and being told you're anti-social for that half hour game.

glatt · 03-30-2009, 11:20 AM

Well, does he complain about all reading? Or is he complaining that when there is a moment in the day that he wants to spend with his wife, she picks up a pleasure book instead?

Stormieweather · 03-30-2009, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

Unfortunately, Juni's in a difficult position on that score. She has two kinds of reading to do: course reading, and her own pleasure reading. It may be that he is responding to the entirety. It would be like you getting half an hour a week on your comp playing a game, and also working thirty hours a week on your computer and being told you're anti-social for that half hour game.

My 13 yr old daughter does the same thing. I work on my computer, earning real money, dadgumit, and also play on the computer a couple hours a week. She claims all I ever do is play on the computer. I set aside a special evening just for me and her, but she never has time for me

She's always too busy off playing on HER computer...lol.

Oh and I always have several books nearby. One I carry in my purse, on in my car, one on the porch where I smoke, and often, one by the bed. Not having a book to read is like the car being in the shop...I'm crippled!

Juniper · 03-30-2009, 12:16 PM

Yeah, and her rah-rahs came in third while mine was second! Hah-hah!

I forgot to mention that this altercation started because I complained about their two really loud air horns.

I wanted to tell Ms. Air Horn that coming in third must really blow. But I didn't.

wolf · 03-30-2009, 01:12 PM

They're all just jealous. I have pity for non-readers.

Pie · 03-30-2009, 01:32 PM

We set up our den so that you could read, watch tv, surf teh interwebz, snooze or play videogames relatively companionably. Originally, we were going to have the computers upstairs, but I squashed that for exactly these reasons.

As long as were are in the same room, it seems relatively social.

ZenGum · 03-30-2009, 06:01 PM

Quote:

My wife always cries when we make love. No matter what she's reading.

Juni, was there some special reason he wanted your undivided attention at that moment?

SteveDallas · 03-30-2009, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juniper

My husband dislikes when I read. He says it's "antisocial."

Did this reaction start recently? It can't have been a surprise to him that you like to read, and you do it a lot. That says to me that it's not really about the reading.

As far as non-husband people go, fuck 'em. Their opinions need not concern you.

Juniper · 03-30-2009, 06:58 PM

No, it's not a new development. Just one of those things he's had to accommodate over the years.

I just mentioned it because he's one of the people who have complained. It's not a huge problem, just one of those weird things about people in general that baffle me from time to time.

03-30-2009, 12:15 PM	#5
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Maybe her daughter was doing the rah rah. We know it wasn't just about your spouse, but it seems that's a common problem for readers. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

03-30-2009, 01:12 PM	#11
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	They're all just jealous. I have pity for non-readers. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

03-30-2009, 01:32 PM	#12
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	We set up our den so that you could read, watch tv, surf teh interwebz, snooze or play videogames relatively companionably. Originally, we were going to have the computers upstairs, but I squashed that for exactly these reasons. As long as were are in the same room, it seems relatively social. __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Switch to Linear Mode Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

03-30-2009, 11:06 AM	#7
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Unfortunately, Juni's in a difficult position on that score. She has two kinds of reading to do: course reading, and her own pleasure reading. It may be that he is responding to the entirety. It would be like you getting half an hour a week on your comp playing a game, and also working thirty hours a week on your computer and being told you're anti-social for that half hour game.

03-30-2009, 11:20 AM	#8
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Well, does he complain about all reading? Or is he complaining that when there is a moment in the day that he wants to spend with his wife, she picks up a pleasure book instead?

03-30-2009, 12:16 PM	#10
Juniper I know, right? Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,539	Yeah, and her rah-rahs came in third while mine was second! Hah-hah! I forgot to mention that this altercation started because I complained about their two really loud air horns. I wanted to tell Ms. Air Horn that coming in third must really blow. But I didn't.

03-30-2009, 06:58 PM	#15
Juniper I know, right? Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,539	No, it's not a new development. Just one of those things he's had to accommodate over the years. I just mentioned it because he's one of the people who have complained. It's not a huge problem, just one of those weird things about people in general that baffle me from time to time.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)