Transgender Second Grader

[Pie]

Originally Posted by euphoriatheory

The one thing that concerns me in cases like this is that 2nd graders seem a little young to fully understand the ramifications of changing gender... If you don't know anything about sex yet, are you really equipped to make that decision? Maybe this kid IS, maybe he'll never regret it.... or maybe in 6 or 7 years, he'll just realize he's gay and maybe likes to cross-dress, and not that he considers himself female.

Well, it's not like they're looking into radical gender reassignment surgery. He's changing the way he dresses and the name he is addressed by. That's hardly cast in stone... If "Joe" becomes "Josephine" becomes "Joe" again when he's 16, what's wrong with that? He'll have some strange childhood pics, but then hey, who doesn't?

[Flint]

Originally Posted by R2D3

The number of children born "intersexual" and the subsequent decision of a doctor to perform surgery (for aesthetic or social purposes) to "assign" a gender is much higher than many would ever know. This can lead to gender confusion, as you can guess; some kids notice it earlier especially in these days of much more openness about gender issues.
I don't find the article or issue all that surprising.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intersex

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/collective/A843176

Yet, a person who has had an arbitrary decision made regarding their gender, without even the possibility of their consent, will be treated as some kind of oddball, if, at the time of their dawning awareness of this predicament, they notice that the doctors chose the wrong gender.

I don't know if that's the case here, but the numbers are really quite high, for something that almost nobody acknowledges as a factor.

[R2D3]

Originally Posted by R2D3

The number of children born "intersexual" and the subsequent decision of a doctor to perform surgery (for aesthetic or social purposes) to "assign" a gender is much higher than many would ever know. This can lead to gender confusion, as you can guess; some kids notice it earlier especially in these days of much more openness about gender issues.
I don't find the article or issue all that surprising.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intersex

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/collective/A843176

[lookout123]

so, what exactly does that have to do with this? the issue isn't whether or not the kid feels something. it is whether or not we expect schools to make concessions because one kid, one very young kid, feels different.

[Aliantha]

Kids at that age don't understand the biological reasons for different genders other than that girls become mummies and boys become daddies. They're only just starting to be aware and ask for reasons why girls and boys have different bits - particularly if they only have same sex siblings and the parents aren't the sort to parade around the house naked etc.

I don't see why the children will ask anymore questions than, 'why does little johnny want to wear a dress?' and if a parent can simply tell the child quite calmly, 'because little johnny feels more comfortable in a dress', it probably wont go much further than, 'that's weird'. Of course, some parents might like to remind their child how they like to play dress ups etc, and that Johnny used to do that too but then realized he wanted to wear dresses more often...or something like that.

I really don't think it's a tough issue at all other than for the close minded. There are kids in most schools these days with same sex parents. Maybe other parents can avoid that issue, but if your kid happens to be friends with one of those kids, it become unavoidable very quickly. I know because it happened to our family. The kids certainly didn't seem to care though.

All these types of gender issues are fairly easy to explain to children if you can simply put aside your own predjudices.

[DanaC]

And enforcing the 'correct' and acceptable gender identity onto the child would make him normal? If he's this insistent on his identity it will show in a myriad of ways. The way he walks the way he talks, the children he chooses to play with, the games he chooses to play. If he is identifying himself as female he will act female regardless of the clothes he wears or the toilet he uses. Kids pick up on that and are just as likely to bully him for it if he's wearing trousers as they if he's wearing a dress.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by DanaC

And enforcing the 'correct' and acceptable gender identity onto the child would make him normal? If he's this insistent on his identity it will show in a myriad of ways. The way he walks the way he talks, the children he chooses to play with, the games he chooses to play. If he is identifying himself as female he will act female regardless of the clothes he wears or the toilet he uses. Kids pick up on that and are just as likely to bully him for it if he's wearing trousers as they if he's wearing a dress.

No doubt. But I would not condone it. Someone is going to pay dearly if anything happens to this child because of the desire to let it dress and act as it pleases. Political correctness gone wild.

[classicman]

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

Someone is going to pay dearly if anything happens to this child because of the desire to let it dress and act as it pleases. Political correctness gone wild.

lol

[theotherguy]

I very seriously doubt that a 2nd grader is that self-aware. Kids act these things out. They want to be called a different name or want to be a different species, or inanimate objects. I have a friend who's child would ONLY respond to the name "Maxipad" for over a year. It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. My little boy ran around for awhile saying he was a little girl and not a boy. We didn't feel the need to run with it or away from it. HE IS JUST A LITTLE KID! My niece wanted to be a dog for several years. Actually cried about it on several occations. They do and say all kinds of crazy things. If I had to guess, this little kids has some crazy, way, way, way left of center parents who figure he must be right and ran with it. Encouraging him to go with it. I may completely wrong here, but I don't think so.

[skysidhe]

Originally Posted by theotherguy

I very seriously doubt that a 2nd grader is that self-aware. Kids act these things out. They want to be called a different name or want to be a different species, or inanimate objects. I have a friend who's child would ONLY respond to the name "Maxipad" for over a year. It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. My little boy ran around for awhile saying he was a little girl and not a boy. We didn't feel the need to run with it or away from it. HE IS JUST A LITTLE KID! My niece wanted to be a dog for several years. Actually cried about it on several occations. They do and say all kinds of crazy things. If I had to guess, this little kids has some crazy, way, way, way left of center parents who figure he must be right and ran with it. Encouraging him to go with it. I may completely wrong here, but I don't think so.

I agree with you. A second grader dosn't have the cognitive ability to know WHY they are saying or feeling a certain way. It's good to let them grow into whatever they are going to be or want to do.

I know my next example is simplistic but we don't let kids draw on themselves,We make them wait for tatoos,piercings ect. Why not wait for gender and name changes too. * shrug*
Just my thoughts.

[monster]

Originally Posted by skysidhe

I know my next example is simplistic but we don't let kids draw on themselves,We make them wait for tatoos,piercings ect. Why not wait for gender and name changes too. * shrug*
Just my thoughts.

We don't let them get tattoos, but it's hard to stop them drawing on themselves using readily available washable markers -and is it really worth the fight to stop them when they are determined to do so?

Same here.

He just wants to "cross dress" and use a different name. he can always reverse the choice. No permanent changes (snip) are being made here.

[skysidhe]

Originally Posted by monster

We don't let them get tattoos, but it's hard to stop them drawing on themselves using readily available washable markers -and is it really worth the fight to stop them when they are determined to do so?

Yeah that image and thought crossed my mind but then I thought only some of the moms will know.

Kids will be drawing on things until the end of time and if it were a thing easily conquered the kind crayola people would never have made washable markers.

[BrianR]

I still need more information.

I'm assuming that the child is in therapy and the therapist agrees with this decision.

Does the school require uniforms? I remember HS vaguely and I don't remember dresses except at the prom, cheerleaders and yearbook photo day. Maybe the child will just wear womens' jeans and tops?

Where's Maggie just when we need a more informed opinion?

Brian

[Radar]

I can't stand anyone who says, "What will I say to my kids about...."

Who gives a shit about what you say to your fucking kids? Your comfort in talking to your kids is less important than someone else's freedom to express themselves or be themselves.

[Sheldonrs]

Originally Posted by Radar

I can't stand anyone who says, "What will I say to my kids about...."

Who gives a shit about what you say to your fucking kids? Your comfort in talking to your kids is less important than someone else's freedom to express themselves or be themselves.

Agreed! I still have a hard time believing parents are "uncomfortable" about teaching their kids about sex.
Would they feel more comfortable dropping a note in the kids coffin when he/she dies from AIDS?

And just to point out, being transgendered does not mean someone feels the need to ACT like the other gender. They know, and feel like, they ARE the other gender. So telling the kids to just dress like they have been even though it's not what they need to feel right within themselves is just a load of un-informed crap.