Weird News

[Spexxvet]

Originally Posted by BigV

Please. Someone help me. I watched this video, and now I can't find my brain.

I can't see germs, so they aren't making me sick. It must be evil spirits.

[glatt]

Cause of the infant's death? "Disseminated herpes simplex virus Type 1, complicating ritual circumcision with oral suction."

What is this I don't even.

[Spexxvet]

Oy Vay. Wrong in so many ways.

[ZenGum]

Originally Posted by glatt

Cause of the infant's death? "Disseminated herpes simplex virus Type 1, complicating ritual circumcision with oral suction."

What is this I don't even.

Ok folks, turns out there was a third tablet with five more commandments.

XI. Thou shalt keep thy mouth away from open wounds on other people's bodies.

XII. Thou shalt keep thy mouth away from babies' penises.

XIII. Thou shalt keep thy active virus-weeping cold-sores away from other people.

XIV. Thou shalt keep thy virus-weeping cold-sore infected mouth away from open wounds on babies' penises.

XV. I, thy God, would have thought XIV would have gone without saying, yet it seemeth thou art stupid, with a head like unto a block of wood, therefore, I command ye also: tryeth ye not to do anything else really bloody stupid. Please. Thinketh ye of the children.

[infinite monkey]

Maybe the dingo infected your baby's dingle.

[footfootfoot]

Yeah. I'm against that. ©Brianna 2011

[Lamplighter]

MSNBC
3/6/12

— A 3-year-old girl was recovering Monday at [xxxx] Hospital
after doctors removed 37 'Buckyballs' magnets from her intestines.



Popular Buckyballs are made of powerful "rare earth" magnets
-- similar to the recalled children's toys --
but are marketed as stress-relieving desk gadgets for adults

[Lamplighter]

AP reports a 24 year old Sri Lanka man has died while trying
to set a new record for being buried alive the longest.

The Darwin gene must be recessive.

[DanaC]

ZenGum, genius.

Here's my wierd, ior...at the very least fucking depressing, news. From a couple of days ago:

A benefits cheat who used taxpayers money to fund his Russian wife's breast implant operation before faking his own death has been jailed for 32 months.

Stephen Kellaway, 54, scammed £43,622 in housing and council tax benefits on a string of London properties - despite having nearly £280,000 stashed in various undeclared bank accounts.

Croydon Crown Court heard the former psychologist claimed he was a single parent on income support and created false tenants to claim the benefit from councils in Hammersmith and Fulham, and Richmond in west London.


But investigators began looking into his affairs in 2008, suspicious of the large amounts being claimed.

Later that year, the former psychologist, his wife Nelli and his step-daughter Natalia travelled to Moscow, where the women underwent plastic surgery and cosmetic dentistry.

Aside from the fact that he's a sponging twat, who adds to the general anti-benefits atmosphere, leading to unnecessary crackdowns on single mums who've made a few quid on the side to be better able to clothe and feed their kids, he did this so his wife and step daughter could have boob jobs??

In 2009, Nelli flew back to the UK to be met by police and council fraud investigators.

The court heard Mrs Kellaway arrived clutching a funeral urn and carrying life insurance documents worth £1.7m, which it is believed she intended to cash in.

Mark Hunsworth, prosecuting, said: "She claimed her husband had died two days earlier and the urn contained his ashes."

In fact, Stephen Kellaway - possibly inspired by the story of 'Canoe Man' John Darwin - had bribed a mortuary working in Moscow to plant his passport on the body of a dead tramp and issue a fake death certificate in his name.

This blioke has read way too many murder mysteries, I'm thinking.
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/benefits-ch...222517966.html

[ZenGum]

He's going to have time to read a whole lot more, too, I reckon.

[DanaC]

What a silly man.

[sexobon]

The court should order his wife to reenact Lady Godiva's ride as restitution to the taxpayers.

[ZenGum]

The tabloids will probably pay them for it.

Which can be taxed to repay the treasury.

Perfect.

[glatt]

Amish drunken buggy drag racing leads to buggy crash with patrol car and one Amish guy being pinned beneath a rolled buggy.

[infinite monkey]

Originally Posted by glatt

Amish drunken buggy drag racing leads to buggy crash with patrol car and one Amish guy being pinned beneath a rolled buggy.

The driver of a second buggy -- Leroy Troyer, 20, of Clymer, N.Y. -- stopped after the accident. The remaining buggies fled the scene, police said.