Humor...I Need Humor... - Page 111

HungLikeJesus · 03-05-2008, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman

Re-read your previous post.

toranokaze · 03-05-2008, 10:01 PM

Or the ability to screw over people who don't know what they are getting themselves into just like an adjustable rate mortgage.

Shawnee123 · 03-06-2008, 10:05 AM

I forget you're head of the department of redundancy department, classicman.

classicman · 03-07-2008, 03:03 PM

EXACTLY!
EXACTLY!

dar512 · 03-08-2008, 03:26 PM

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple,sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a Band aid to a student but did not need the parents approval to distribute condoms.

Common Sense lost the will to live when religions became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement..

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his grandchildren; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

skysidhe · 03-08-2008, 04:42 PM

xoxoxoBruce · 03-09-2008, 12:54 PM

Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself nude in a mirror, after a relaxing bath. Her frustration over her lack of ability to lose weight was depressing her.

In an act of desperation, she decided to call on God for help.

‘God…if you take away my love handles, I’ll devote my life to you,’ She prayed.

And just like that………

…….. her ears fell off.

total loss · 03-09-2008, 06:09 PM

Hello,
Can someone please explain to me what does this mean: 362 and 293.
I see this on a forum where a couple use this to response to each other. I thought that's kinda cute although don't know what's that mean.
Please let me know,
Thanks.
Loss

monster · 03-11-2008, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by total loss

Hello,
Can someone please explain to me what does this mean: 362 and 293.
I see this on a forum where a couple use this to response to each other. I thought that's kinda cute although don't know what's that mean.
Please let me know,
Thanks.
Loss

can you link to the forum/post, or is it a dodgy site? Or are they private emails you're trying to decipher?

Could be the number of letters in each word in a set phrase e.g. 143 means "I love you"? Maybe 293 means "Up Chocolate Way"?

shina · 03-12-2008, 10:49 AM

WHO IS MAN'S BEST FRIEND?

A dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.
Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you!?

total loss · 03-12-2008, 12:34 PM

Hello Monster,

Thanks for your response. Sorry i can't link the forum but it is not private email. However it is good to know that 143 means i love you (is it really so, because I'd like to use it).
What is "up chocolate way" means anyway?

Thanks again.
Have fun, 143.

Loss.

P.s
If possible, please explain to me how is this "the number of letters in each word in a set phrase" work?

Shawnee123 · 03-12-2008, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by total loss

Hello Monster,

Thanks for your response. Sorry i can't link the forum but it is not private email. However it is good to know that 143 means i love you (is it really so, because I'd like to use it).
What is "up chocolate way" means anyway?
Thanks again.
Have fun, 143.

Loss.

Sheldon?

glatt · 03-12-2008, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by total loss

However it is good to know that 143 means i love you (is it really so, because I'd like to use it).

I learned that on Mr. Rogers. It's true, but like most words, it only works if the other person knows it too.

What's your story, loss? I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

lumberjim · 03-09-2008, 07:40 PM

perhaps the number of a post? if you look to the top right of your post you see the number 1705.

monster · 03-09-2008, 10:03 PM

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection ?

A quarter pounder with cheese

03-05-2008, 10:01 PM	#2
toranokaze I'm still a jerk Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Little Mexico Posts: 1,817	Or the ability to screw over people who don't know what they are getting themselves into just like an adjustable rate mortgage. __________________ "Without deviation from the norm progress is not possible." - Frank Zappa It is the ignorance of ignorance that lead to the death of knowledge The Virgin Mary does not weep for her son, for he is in paradise. She weeps for the world , for we are in suffering.

03-06-2008, 10:05 AM	#3
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I forget you're head of the department of redundancy department, classicman. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

03-07-2008, 03:03 PM	#4
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	EXACTLY! EXACTLY! __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

03-08-2008, 03:26 PM	#5
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	Requiem for Common Sense Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple,sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a Band aid to a student but did not need the parents approval to distribute condoms. Common Sense lost the will to live when religions became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his grandchildren; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. __________________ "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller

03-09-2008, 12:54 PM	#7
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself nude in a mirror, after a relaxing bath. Her frustration over her lack of ability to lose weight was depressing her. In an act of desperation, she decided to call on God for help. ‘God…if you take away my love handles, I’ll devote my life to you,’ She prayed. And just like that……… …….. her ears fell off. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

03-08-2008, 04:42 PM	#6
skysidhe ~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,828

03-09-2008, 06:09 PM	#8
total loss Alphabetarian Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 12	Hello, Can someone please explain to me what does this mean: 362 and 293. I see this on a forum where a couple use this to response to each other. I thought that's kinda cute although don't know what's that mean. Please let me know, Thanks. Loss

03-12-2008, 10:49 AM	#10
shina Hopeful Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Sammamish, WA Posts: 232	WHO IS MAN'S BEST FRIEND? A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour. When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you!?

03-12-2008, 12:34 PM	#11
total loss Alphabetarian Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 12	Hello Monster, Thanks for your response. Sorry i can't link the forum but it is not private email. However it is good to know that 143 means i love you (is it really so, because I'd like to use it). What is "up chocolate way" means anyway? Thanks again. Have fun, 143. Loss. P.s If possible, please explain to me how is this "the number of letters in each word in a set phrase" work?

03-09-2008, 07:40 PM	#14
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	perhaps the number of a post? if you look to the top right of your post you see the number 1705. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

03-09-2008, 10:03 PM	#15
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection ? A quarter pounder with cheese __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

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