Funny/Embarrassing things they say - Page 10

03-28-2007, 03:26 PM

From my wife's blog.

Don Juan de Elmo
Current mood: confused
Category: Life

My niece, Misty and I decide we are going to take my son, Finn bowling. In the lane next to us is a family and two little girls which appear to be approximately 8 years old. So we are bowling and having a great time and Finn keeps giving these two girls the eye. Now these girls are no slouches. They are cute, trendy 8 year olds and they are not giving this 3 year old a second look. Well, Misty goes to get a pitcher of coke and I tell Finn that we will take a rest while we wait for her to come back. Instead of sitting next to me, he goes over to the next lane and sits right next these two girls. While the girls start to look at each other, rolling their eyes, Finn begins to woo them with his uncanny ability to emit faux burps. Ah yes. He brought out the big guns right away. What 8 year old could resist the fake belch? The girls turn to each other and start to smile. I am absolutely amazed at what happens next. With the finesse of a seasoned pro, he looks them in the eyes, leans in, raises an eyebrow and says, "You rock!" Both girls look at each other, blush and begin to giggle incessantly. He is all of 5 minutes past 3 ½ years old and is putting the moves on two 8 year olds and it is working!

By now, Misty has come up on this scene and is also standing in amazement, watching as this mini-Don Juan works his magic. Finn turns to me and says, "Mama, they like me." He then, gives me a look and a nod as if to say "watch this." Finn goes up to the first girl and gives her a full on body hug. She looks at him and smiles and then he does the same to her friend. Both girls are as red as ripe strawberries already when while their guard is down he moves in to give the first girl a full on kiss on the lips. Her friend starts to giggle and then he leans over and gives her a kiss too! These girls are now in hysterics and their father is looking at me like, "lady, what kind of little ho-dog are you raising?" Finn is full of himself, feeling about 10 feet tall. He knows he has both girls exactly where he wants them. I am in shock at the whole scene and don't really know what to think to be honest. I say, "C'mon Casanova, it's time to come back to your own lane." Misty told me that I was in for some trouble when he gets older. I think she is right. I mean if he can have 8 year olds eating out of his hands when he is only 3 ½ what am I to do when he is a teenager? Of course, all I could think of that night when we got back to our lane is, "wouldn't his Daddy be proud if he could have seen him?" Is that sick or what?

Pie · 03-28-2007, 03:32 PM

03-28-2007, 03:34 PM

Oh, I've got tha' fear, no doubt.

LabRat · 03-29-2007, 05:58 AM

rkzenrage--that is a fabulous story. Terrifying as a mother of a daughter,

but fabulous.

This begs the question, nature vs. nurture papa? Heh, heh, heh !!

Sheldonrs · 03-29-2007, 10:04 AM

Well, together they are 16 so I guess it's ok.

footfootfoot · 03-29-2007, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LabRat

This begs the question, nature vs. nurture papa? Heh, heh, heh !!

I think it is nature not being stifled by nurture. The inch is a lot smoother already than I ever was or will be. A few weeks ago he was giving his sitter a shoulder rub, then putting his hand on her shoulder and looking smolderingly into her eyes.

I can hardly pull that off with my own wife, but then I had a decidely wierd upbringing where those sorts of things were stifled.

So I say it's a mix of both.

03-29-2007, 05:02 PM

There is a new Finn story... omg, I need help.

Griff · 03-30-2007, 07:15 AM

That boy has a great future... hell he has a great now.

Phil · 03-30-2007, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkzenrage

There is a new Finn story... omg, I need help.

nope, seems youre doing fine.

SteveDallas · 03-30-2007, 10:31 AM

Does he give lessons??

Hyoi · 03-31-2007, 09:46 AM

My eldest daughter, now fully grown, had a thing for Kenny Rogers when she was four or five. She loved to sing his version of Lucille, but it came out like this:

You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille
Four hundred children and a crop in the field

Phil · 03-31-2007, 03:12 PM

a friend's son had an awful time teething. he would bite chunks out of ordinary teethers, so he tried to find a solid silver victorian teether. no success. he also tried engineering works for steel rings. no success, but they suggested stainless surgical steel. so he went to a body piercing shop and bought a wide diameter circular ring. yeah youve guessed it : his son was teethed on a large cock - ring.

03-31-2007, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phil

a friend's son had an awful time teething. he would bite chunks out of ordinary teethers, so he tried to find a solid silver victorian teether. no success. he also tried engineering works for steel rings. no success, but they suggested stainless surgical steel. so he went to a body piercing shop and bought a wide diameter circular ring. yeah youve guessed it : his son was teethed on a large cock - ring.

That is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard!!!!

I would give my little toe for a picture of that. I am not exaggerating.

Phil · 03-31-2007, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkzenrage

That is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard!!!!

I would give my little toe for a picture of that. I am not exaggerating.

i thought it was pretty cool when he told me about it. if his son wasnt 12 years old now, i would ask my mate if i could get a photo of it for a friend in Florida.

03-31-2007, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Our saga continues…

So I have a “conversation” with my little man that it is inappropriate to touch others without their permission. I worry that he has not heard a word that I have said even though he looked me in the eye and said he understood…even giving me the gratuitous, “trust me” that I have heard one too many times from the opposite sex. (Rob: I do not endorse this statement, but, Finn does say that a lot and it is usually a lie)

Well, we go to Toys R Us two days ago to pick out a swimming pool for him since he has been begging me for one and it has been upward of 90 degrees almost every day this week. He was a perfect angel in the store and when we get to the cash register, he continues by helping to put all of the merchandise on the counter. The check-out clerk is a beautiful Spanish lady that looks to be about 18-19 years-old…a real sweet thing.
Finn looks at her and says, “I need to tell you something.” When she asks him, “what?”, he replies, “I want to give you a kiss.” Oh brother. Here we go again.
Well, at least he asked this time so I guess he did listen to our talk. Anyway, the girl turns to me and looks to me as if to ask permission to kiss him, saying, “He wants to give me a kiss.”
I say to her, “Lady, if you want to open up that box, go for it.” So she leans over and presents her cheek to him. Cheek? Finn, being the Don Juan that he is, reaches up, touches her chin and gently moves it over to kiss her on the lips and lays a very nice medium length kiss on her, full on the lips. This, in no way, resembled a peck.
She smiles and says, “Why, that is the best kiss I have ever had!” She adds, “You are so handsome!”
Finn grins all full of himself and says, “Yes and strong too!” He then, shows her his bulging bicep. “Here, feel my muscle,” he quips. “Oh my,” says the cashier.
Finn then quickly, holds up his leg to show the impressed woman his equally huge calf muscle stating, “Here, feel my leg, it’s strong too!” The cashier declines but tells him that he is the cutest boy she has ever seen. Finn states clearly "I know."
I state that he would like to think he is and we leave the store.
As we leave, Finn tells her that he loves her.

What am I going to do? Really?

He tried this on the pretty lady at Albersons this morning, mom would not let him kiss her, he has a cold.

03-28-2007, 03:32 PM	#2
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	__________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

03-29-2007, 05:58 AM	#4
LabRat twatfaced two legged bumhole Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,143	rkzenrage--that is a fabulous story. Terrifying as a mother of a daughter, but fabulous. This begs the question, nature vs. nurture papa? Heh, heh, heh !! __________________ Strength does not come from how much weight you can lift, or how many miles you can run. It comes from knowing that you set a goal, and rose to the challenge. Strength comes from within.

03-29-2007, 10:04 AM	#5
Sheldonrs Master Dwellar Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,412	Well, together they are 16 so I guess it's ok. __________________ Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you.

03-30-2007, 07:15 AM	#8
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	That boy has a great future... hell he has a great now. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

03-31-2007, 09:46 AM	#11
Hyoi Faithful Companion Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 188	My eldest daughter, now fully grown, had a thing for Kenny Rogers when she was four or five. She loved to sing his version of Lucille, but it came out like this: You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille Four hundred children and a crop in the field __________________ When you stop trying to make sense of it all, it all begins to make sense.

03-28-2007, 03:26 PM	#1
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	From my wife's blog. Don Juan de Elmo Current mood: confused Category: Life My niece, Misty and I decide we are going to take my son, Finn bowling. In the lane next to us is a family and two little girls which appear to be approximately 8 years old. So we are bowling and having a great time and Finn keeps giving these two girls the eye. Now these girls are no slouches. They are cute, trendy 8 year olds and they are not giving this 3 year old a second look. Well, Misty goes to get a pitcher of coke and I tell Finn that we will take a rest while we wait for her to come back. Instead of sitting next to me, he goes over to the next lane and sits right next these two girls. While the girls start to look at each other, rolling their eyes, Finn begins to woo them with his uncanny ability to emit faux burps. Ah yes. He brought out the big guns right away. What 8 year old could resist the fake belch? The girls turn to each other and start to smile. I am absolutely amazed at what happens next. With the finesse of a seasoned pro, he looks them in the eyes, leans in, raises an eyebrow and says, "You rock!" Both girls look at each other, blush and begin to giggle incessantly. He is all of 5 minutes past 3 ½ years old and is putting the moves on two 8 year olds and it is working! By now, Misty has come up on this scene and is also standing in amazement, watching as this mini-Don Juan works his magic. Finn turns to me and says, "Mama, they like me." He then, gives me a look and a nod as if to say "watch this." Finn goes up to the first girl and gives her a full on body hug. She looks at him and smiles and then he does the same to her friend. Both girls are as red as ripe strawberries already when while their guard is down he moves in to give the first girl a full on kiss on the lips. Her friend starts to giggle and then he leans over and gives her a kiss too! These girls are now in hysterics and their father is looking at me like, "lady, what kind of little ho-dog are you raising?" Finn is full of himself, feeling about 10 feet tall. He knows he has both girls exactly where he wants them. I am in shock at the whole scene and don't really know what to think to be honest. I say, "C'mon Casanova, it's time to come back to your own lane." Misty told me that I was in for some trouble when he gets older. I think she is right. I mean if he can have 8 year olds eating out of his hands when he is only 3 ½ what am I to do when he is a teenager? Of course, all I could think of that night when we got back to our lane is, "wouldn't his Daddy be proud if he could have seen him?" Is that sick or what?

03-28-2007, 03:34 PM	#3
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	Oh, I've got tha' fear, no doubt.

03-29-2007, 05:02 PM	#7
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	There is a new Finn story... omg, I need help.

03-30-2007, 10:31 AM	#10
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Does he give lessons??

03-31-2007, 03:12 PM	#12
Phil Hoodoo Guru Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 304	a friend's son had an awful time teething. he would bite chunks out of ordinary teethers, so he tried to find a solid silver victorian teether. no success. he also tried engineering works for steel rings. no success, but they suggested stainless surgical steel. so he went to a body piercing shop and bought a wide diameter circular ring. yeah youve guessed it : his son was teethed on a large cock - ring. __________________ Atheist n A person to be pitied in that he is unable to believe things for which there is no evidence, and who has thus deprived himself of a convenient means of feeling superior to others.

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