What do women want?

[footfootfoot]

I'd like the cellar women to tell us (me) what they want.

Be as general or specific as you like, as personal or universal as you dare. Offer examples in aid of illustration, not as proof. None required.

Ultimately this may be a(nother) futile attempt at trying to understand women.

[DanaC]

Well, you could probably start by working on the assumption that 'women' are not an homogeneous group. You can't 'understand women',any more than you can 'understand men', or 'understand Americans/Brits/the French'.

You can seek to understand individual people. But understanding women is just another way of saying understanding human beings.

[DanaC]

Oh and just to add: what I really want, right now, is a PS4.

But I can't afford one.

[limey]

What Dana said, except about the PS4.
But if you're having trouble understanding a specific woman my default suggestion is that she's playing games and I, personally, would get the hell out of there.
Or is this a Christmas gift question?

Sent by thought transference

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

I'd like the cellar women to tell us (me) what they want.

Be as general or specific as you like, as personal or universal as you dare. Offer examples in aid of illustration, not as proof. None required.

Ultimately this may be a(nother) futile attempt at trying to understand women.

Of course, you do realize they will have changed their minds three times by the time the wind changes direction?

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by DanaC

...any more than you can 'understand men'...

Dave Chappelle 'splained it pretty well:

Chivalry died when women started readin' the shit in all them magazines. They got too much advice about men from other women. And they don't know what the fuck they're talkin' about. I see them in the grocery store, says on the cover "100 Ways to Please Your Man" by some lady. Come on, man. Ain't no 100 ways. That list is four things long. Just suck his dick, play with his balls, fix him a sandwich, and don't talk so much and he'll be happy!

Yes, I know, that was wrong of him...he shoulda said 'sammich', instead of 'sandwich'.


Just a little humor ladies, don't all of ya shoot at me at once...

[Sundae]

I'd like some sex please.
Nothing fancy, just good kissing, a bit of fondling and some hokey-pokey.

Not from just anyone of course.
But I'm not lusting after a Hollywood stud or a magazine model.
Pecs and abs and washboard stomach and all that has never really been my thing.

Someone I can talk with, laugh with, who catches some of my cultural references and spins them back. Or doesn't, but lobs different ones at me.

I'm not relationship material. I'm bloody lousy at them. So I have given up.
But you'd think I could get a bit of fun and frolics for the asking, right?
Hmmmm.
Maybe I should start asking.

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by Sundae

I'd like some sex please.

Thaaaat's m'girl.

Honest to God, if women would do that very thing, ask for what they want, the world would be a much happier place.

[orthodoc]

I love intelligence in a man. I distrust excessively handsome men and avoid pretty ones completely. I love a man with skills - practical know-how, like how to manage a woodlot without killing yourself, how to build things and dry firewood and plant a successful garden and tend livestock and/or successfully hunt (preferably with a bow) - in addition to being intelligent. That's hot enough to melt cotton, silk, and wool.

I love a man who enjoys a good laugh, who isn't defensive and constantly assessing, judging, and finding fault. I love a man who's relaxed and secure enough to be himself, show his best traits and skills without fear (cooking, artistic skills/ability, etc. rank right up there along with the other practical skills).

I love a man who enjoys kissing - kissing can easily be more intimate than sex. But I also want the sex, and I want to give pleasure as well as receive it.

I don't want a man who plays games or says things he doesn't mean.

I've never understood the playing games thing and have failed miserably at dating because of it. I completely miss the signals that game-players send each other. If a woman is doing that, run for the hills.

So, that was personal and individual. But Dana's right - there's no such thing as 'women' as a class. We're all different. Taking time to get to know a woman before trying to bed her is probably the wisest approach ... you can skip the game-players and man-changers and wounded spirits who need saving if you take your time. Decide what YOU value, as in core values, and then get to know a woman well enough to be able to discern her core values and whether they match yours. Surface interests don't always have to match, if the core values are in harmony.

[Clodfobble]

I want a man who is wicked smart, and completely 100% mellow. He pretty much can't ever get mad at anything ever.

I get that this is a hard demand to make of a human being, but I'm being honest here. I cannot handle even listening to a rant about someone else. Small complaints get to last about 5 seconds, and they need to be followed with attempts to solve the underlying problem. Mocking others is fine--required, even--but genuine negative energy has no place in my real life. I'm not a 'good listener.'

There's plenty of other stuff, like I want a guy who will eat super healthy with me and never be sad about it. But wicked smart and mellow are the two deal-breakers.

[Lola Bunny]

Clod: Can we safely assume your husband is wicked smart and mellow? Or at least close enough?

[footfootfoot]

Dana and Limes are over thinking the question. Except the bit about the PS4.

Dave Chapelle is, for the most part, right.

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by Lamplighter

Clod: Can we safely assume your husband is wicked smart and mellow? Or at least close enough?

He is wicked smart, and has learned to be mellow around me. I know he gets angry at work sometimes, but by the time he's come home he's able to tell me about it in a lighthearted manner. Learning to control it has worked out nicely because he has the option of bringing out the persona when an adversarial response is needed. When I know the auto mechanic is trying to screw me over, for example, but I don't have the balls to confront him, I send Mr. Clod in to do my dirty work. He's also the one who takes care of IEP meetings with school administrators, I won't even attend them.

[Lamplighter]

I'm not offended in any way, but I don't think I'm the Dwellar that asked that question.

[footfootfoot]

Well, you do resemble a rabbit, sort of. Not really, come to think of it.