My friend is turning into a major moocher

[orthodoc]

Originally Posted by SamIam

I'm paranoid about how I'm going to get by if I don't find work before my unemployment runs out.

Without my help, Charlie might be humbled but he wouldn't be hungry.

And it's his life. If he'd rather buy pot instead of his meds, well, that's his choice.

Well put. Charlie has let his Medicare supplement go, not because he can't afford it, but because he prefers to buy pot with it.

You're a generous, good-hearted person; don't beat yourself up for that. At the same time, be careful not to let Charlie's mooching put you in danger. He will take and take, never thinking about your situation at all. That's what addiction does. He has other options for food, and he's making his own choices about whether to buy meds or not. Protecting yourself in this scenario doesn't make you a selfish or bad person.

[SamIam]

Thank you, orthodoc! I am so upset over this situation that I'm still awake at 12:30AM. It's not like Charlie is some awful person - far from it. Back in a better day before things got so bad for him, he had helped me through some rough times of my own. He's intelligent and funny and in many ways, he's still a good friend.

But...

Like the last time I went over to his place he was so stoned/out of it that I got fed up with him and cut my visit short.

Like he spends lots of time talking about all these big dreams and plans which I think he could actually achieve but for - yeah, the pot.

And unlike you, Doc, I'm not a real doctor and I don't really understand to what extent medical marijuana may be helping him. To me, it just seems to be hurting him, but maybe his symptoms would be really awful without it?

I don't really know anyone IRL that I can talk to about this because I met Charlie through AA and most of my friends here are AA members, so I feel like I would be breaking Charlie's anonmity which is a HUGE AA no-no if I bring up my concerns about him to someone else. Plus, I'd feel sort of hypocritical because I myself take prescribed meds that AA would say I shouldn't be on. But at least MY meds are covered by my health insurance and I pay about $50.00/month for them as opposed to Charlie's $500.00 plus.

Nothing is ever easy is it?

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by Lamplighter

This caught my eye, and been on my mind.

Even once may be enough for him to rationalize that his with you sharing is equal.
If you ever do draw the line, it will have to be mutually impermeable.

That's what I was wondering when I asked.

Originally Posted by SamIam

Ms. Doormat, that's me.

Be glad he doesn't wear golf shoes.