Hotel Sex

monster · 03-23-2012, 07:54 PM

The couple next door were at it when we got back from dinner. Very loudly. I give her 8/10 for volume, 9/10 for alleged orgasm quantity, 11/10 for stamina and 2/10 for realism.

Now they are arguaing about shoe shopping.

monster · 03-23-2012, 08:21 PM

Well that didn't take long. they yelled at each other a bit, called each other mean and now their at it again. But with less vigor.

....and it's over....unless they're moving it into the shower......

HungLikeJesus · 03-23-2012, 08:23 PM

That's why I try to avoid hotels that charge by the hour.

monster · 03-24-2012, 04:44 AM

three. more. times.

and twice with the arguments.

Neither very convincing

Sundae · 03-24-2012, 04:50 AM

Thank the blessed FSM for earplugs.
I never sleep in a hotel without them.

Mum tried them when we had to share a room in Cardiff.
She thought she could just put them in and sleep well as a one-off, despite me suggesting she got used to them over a week or so.
Nope - straight in, no prep work.
They came out immediately. She said it felt like her head was going to explode.

That's not about sex in hotel rooms.
That's about me winning the game. Once again.

But I did start wearing them because of a housemate's noisy sex.
I shared with her on and off for five years and heard a variety of different performances.
I think she only started having real - or really good - orgasms with her last partner. She got a lot quieter and said less with him.

Trilby · 03-24-2012, 07:15 AM

Yeah. I'm against hotel sex.

I'm against hotels in general.

Griff · 03-24-2012, 08:07 AM

Make sure you guys burn all your clothing before you get in the house. That sounds like a clearing house for bed bugs.

zippyt · 03-24-2012, 09:05 AM

Sorry , sorry , we'll be more quiet next time

wolf · 03-24-2012, 09:16 AM

Sundae, there are a lot of different kinds of earplugs. The soft foam ones are really effective and completely comfortable. Not that you'll ever need to spend another night with your mum in a hotel in Cardiff ...

I usually use the same soft plastic variety that I use for shooting. They have a string attached to them, so no paranoia about the one that falls out and gets lost in the bedding.

Sundae · 03-24-2012, 02:48 PM

I probably started with the foam ones.
I'm hardcore now - wax all the way, baby.

Perhaps I was to blame in trying to get my mother onto something I'd slowly built up a tolerance to. TBF I was doing it for her benefit - she far prefers sleeping in a bed with my Dad, but often decamps into the spare room because of his snoring. I thought we could kill two birds with one stone if she learned to enjoy earplugs. Too much too soon though.

Perry Winkle · 03-24-2012, 04:24 PM

Hotel sex is the best. It's nice not to have to wash the sheets. And there's always weird furniture configurations that demand experiments.

monster · 03-24-2012, 09:55 PM

They are gone tonight. It was funny, but it got old fast.

Gravdigr · 03-24-2012, 11:59 PM

That's always funny...unless of course you're really trying to sleep, and then not so much.

Rrrraven · 03-25-2012, 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Perry Winkle

Hotel sex is the best. It's nice not to have to wash the sheets. And there's always weird furniture configurations that demand experiments.

I completely agree. But when you're the one hearing the sex instead of having the sex it can be quite disturbing. As sexually open as I consider myself I found that being the eavesdropper can be blush inducing.

Many years back I took my now ex-husband to to bed and breakfast for Valentine's Day weekend. The facility was an older Victorian style home with antiques and thin walls. The couple next to our room was so loud and, um, forceful, the walls were thudding and the sounds were just amplified beyond belief. It was as if the couple were wearing microphone headsets attached to really good car stereo speakers. My ex and I just sat there mortified. I think I may have placed the blanket over my head and begged for the bad noises to stop.

The next morning in the narrow hallway of the home we of course ran right into the couple on our way down to breakfast. I averted my eyes so I wouldn't giggle.

glatt · 03-25-2012, 11:40 AM

There's a great scene in The Cooler with William H Macy, sleeping alone in his room night after night, hearing the people in the next room having loud sex. When he finally gets Maria Bello in his bed, they put on a very deliberately loud show for the neighbors. Deliberately banging the bed against the wall, etc. It's amusing.

03-23-2012, 07:54 PM	#1
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Hotel Sex The couple next door were at it when we got back from dinner. Very loudly. I give her 8/10 for volume, 9/10 for alleged orgasm quantity, 11/10 for stamina and 2/10 for realism. Now they are arguaing about shoe shopping. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

03-23-2012, 08:21 PM	#2
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Well that didn't take long. they yelled at each other a bit, called each other mean and now their at it again. But with less vigor. ....and it's over....unless they're moving it into the shower...... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

03-23-2012, 08:23 PM	#3
HungLikeJesus Only looks like a disaster tourist Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: above 7,000 feet Posts: 7,208	That's why I try to avoid hotels that charge by the hour. __________________ Keep Your Bodies Off My Lawn SteveDallas's Random Thread Picker.

03-24-2012, 04:44 AM	#4
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	three. more. times. and twice with the arguments. Neither very convincing __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

03-24-2012, 04:50 AM	#5
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Thank the blessed FSM for earplugs. I never sleep in a hotel without them. Mum tried them when we had to share a room in Cardiff. She thought she could just put them in and sleep well as a one-off, despite me suggesting she got used to them over a week or so. Nope - straight in, no prep work. They came out immediately. She said it felt like her head was going to explode. That's not about sex in hotel rooms. That's about me winning the game. Once again. But I did start wearing them because of a housemate's noisy sex. I shared with her on and off for five years and heard a variety of different performances. I think she only started having real - or really good - orgasms with her last partner. She got a lot quieter and said less with him. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

03-24-2012, 07:15 AM	#6
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Yeah. I'm against hotel sex. I'm against hotels in general. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

03-24-2012, 08:07 AM	#7
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Make sure you guys burn all your clothing before you get in the house. That sounds like a clearing house for bed bugs. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

03-24-2012, 09:05 AM	#8
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	Sorry , sorry , we'll be more quiet next time __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

03-24-2012, 09:16 AM	#9
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Sundae, there are a lot of different kinds of earplugs. The soft foam ones are really effective and completely comfortable. Not that you'll ever need to spend another night with your mum in a hotel in Cardiff ... I usually use the same soft plastic variety that I use for shooting. They have a string attached to them, so no paranoia about the one that falls out and gets lost in the bedding. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

03-24-2012, 02:48 PM	#10
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I probably started with the foam ones. I'm hardcore now - wax all the way, baby. Perhaps I was to blame in trying to get my mother onto something I'd slowly built up a tolerance to. TBF I was doing it for her benefit - she far prefers sleeping in a bed with my Dad, but often decamps into the spare room because of his snoring. I thought we could kill two birds with one stone if she learned to enjoy earplugs. Too much too soon though. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

03-24-2012, 04:24 PM	#11
Perry Winkle Esnohplad Semaj Ton Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: A little south of sanity Posts: 2,259	Hotel sex is the best. It's nice not to have to wash the sheets. And there's always weird furniture configurations that demand experiments.

03-24-2012, 09:55 PM	#12
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	They are gone tonight. It was funny, but it got old fast. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

03-24-2012, 11:59 PM	#13
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	That's always funny...unless of course you're really trying to sleep, and then not so much. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

03-25-2012, 11:40 AM	#15
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	There's a great scene in The Cooler with William H Macy, sleeping alone in his room night after night, hearing the people in the next room having loud sex. When he finally gets Maria Bello in his bed, they put on a very deliberately loud show for the neighbors. Deliberately banging the bed against the wall, etc. It's amusing.

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