Professor Gates, Harvard's Pride

[ZenGum]

I'm trying to imagine the questionnaire you'll need for that study:

(1) Please identify yourself
(a) Honky
(b) Spic
(c) Nigger
(d) Slope
(e) towel-head
(f) other darkie

(2) Are you an asshole?
(a) yes
(b) no

(3) Who do you blame for bad things in your life?
(a) yourself
(b) other people today
(c) historical injustices
(d) government conspiracy
(e) meddling kids

(4) If a pig busted you, would you:
(a) call your lawyer
(b) call you congressman
(c) call your homies
(d) call your momma
(e) pop a cap in his fat ass

Thank you for participating in this survey. All results are confidential. Unless you answered (d) to question (3), but we know who you are anyway.