The kind of love you never recover from

[Juniper]

I have made decisions based on practical measures of what was most likely to cause happiness over the long-term vs. what was thrilling me right at the moment. And in nearly every case, I was dead wrong.

I think that's what you mean, Shawnee, am I right?

I also have a "great love" from the past - my first real love affair. He's still alive and I think lives not too far from here, though I haven't seen him for almost 20 years. I think about him from time to time, wondering if I made the right decision (it was mutual, but I think I could've changed things if I really wanted to), if I should really still be with him. But I think we always look at these past relationships with the proverbial "rose colored glasses" and they seem more perfect than they really were. In reality, when I think about it logically, he was a mess and our relationship was a train wreck. Yet part of me still pines and thinks "oh, I loved him so."