What's mildly irritating you today?

[Clodfobble]

The shriveled and snarly dyke behind the counter in the guns and ammo section of Academy.

I told you what I need, bitch, I need steel shot; i.e., little metal balls made of steel, and not lead. Your skeptical questioning of what do I need it for was irritating enough, but to then instead direct me to an entirely different product (which turned out to be strips of lead that can be torn into chunks of various sizes, how convenient!) with the vague assertion that I'll 'find what I need in that blue bucket over there' was downright galling. No, thank you for the passive-aggressive suggestion, but I really just need some steel shot. I should have known better, but I followed your craggy liver-spotted finger as it pointed me next to aisle three, which you again asserted would contain what I asked for. No, that had big ol' fishing lure weights, which are not only not the shot pellets I asked for, they are made of fucking lead. Apparently not one shred of guilt seeped its way through your moss-riddled brain as you saw the consternation on my face, and you chose to oh so helpfully ask me, "Have you tried Hobby Lobby?"

No, you fucking whore, because I don't think a goddamn crafts store is more likely to have a basic ammunition product than the goddamn ammunition section of a sports and hunting store. I'm sorry that you seem to be offended that I might use your precious ammo for something other than punching holes in things, but last I checked it doesn't come with a fucking EULA. You may have finally noticed my clenched teeth as I repeated, again, "No, look, I really just need a box of BBs. That's what I need. Just a plain box of BBs."

You could not have been more disgusted as you shrugged, "Well, I guess you could try those," and pointed me to--oh rapture!--a shelf with various sizes of metal shot on it. And hey look! Right there in front is one that advertises it is copper-coated steel, contains no lead. Thank you so very much.