Letter to the editor of the Baton Rouge (LA) Advocate

[Nothing But Net]

As you say, a remarkably ineffective letter which will likely never see the light of day, but goddammit I just had to vent.

I have nothing personal against Louisiana, hell, my mom is from there and I've passed many a good time in New Orleans.

I know this is a scam. I saw a piece about it on 20/20 or 60 Minutes 2 a couple of years ago. They rented a van with out-of-state plates, loaded it up with hidden cameras and drove like angels down I-10. Got stopped for 'crossing over the line'. It's all a bullshit fishing expedition.

The cop looked kinda like Gary Sinise, only not as handsome . I admitted to drinking a couple of beers, he asked if I felt impaired, I said no and that was that. The the Nazi asshole started this line of bullshit:

"Where are you coming from?"
"Where are you headed?"
"What is the purpose of your trip?" (or something to that effect)
"What is your address?" He had my fucking license by now, didn't even want to see my proof of insurance.
"Who do you work for?"
"What do you do?"
"Who's in the car with you?"
"Who do those dogs belong to?"

Not one of those questions relate to any of his fucking business. Then he went and talked to Lin who was still in the car. The dogs were going nuts. She told me later that she warned him Baron might bite and he said: "Let him." What would you do, shoot my dog, motherfucker? I swear, I would have killed him with my bare hands if he did that.

To tell you the truth, I was a bit worried a search would turn up my pistol in the passenger compartment. I don't think it's illegal when traveling in LA, even though I don't have a CCL, but I wasn't sure and I sure as fuck don't need the hassle. That's why it was all 'Yes Sir! No Sir!' the whole way.

Also, I was a bit perturbed by all the obvious instances I witnessed of 'driving while black'. I counted no less than three searches going on as I passed by during this trip. It all just pisses me off to no end. As much as I hate to say it, it took a personal injustice to truly feel that pain, and now I understand the humiliation and fear that comes with it.

Fucking cops, breaking the law to enforce a bad law. The irony is truly Kafkaesque.

As we parted company, he said "Do you know your alphabet?".
I said "Wha'?"
Badass Cop: "Say it"
Me: "A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z" (in about 5 seconds)
BC: "Get out of here"
Me: "F-U-C-K-Y-O-U" (well, I was in the car by then)