6/23/2003: Bloody antler trade

[Elspode]

I'm going to learn this song one day, because it is so fucking funny...I would, in fact, be happy to post it in my webspace and send you guys the link if you'd like to hear it.


"Carrot Juice is Murder" by The Arrogant Worms

listen up brothers and sisters come hear my desperate tale
i speak of our friends of nature trapped in the dirt like a jail
vegetables live in oppression, served on our tables each night
this killing of veggies is madness, i say we take up the fight
salads are only for murderers, coleslaw's a fascist regime
don't think that they don't have feelings, just cause a radish can't scream

Chorus:
i've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)
watching their skins being peeled (having their insides revealed)
grated and steamed with no mercy (burning off calories)
how do you think that feels (that it hurts really bad)
Carrot juice constitutes murder (and that's a real crime)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves (let my vegetables go)
it's time to stop all this gardening (it's dirty as hell)
let's call a spade a spade (is a spade is a spade is a spade)

I saw a man eating celery, so i beat him black and blue
if he ever touches a sprout again, i'll bite him clean in two
i'm a political prisonner, trapped in a windowless cage
cause i stopped the slaughter of turnips by killing five men in a rage
i told the judge when he sentenced me "this is my finest hour"
i'd kill those farmers again just to save one more cauliflower

Chorus

how low as people do we dare to stoop,
making young broccolis bleed in the soup
untie your beans, uncage your tomatoes
let potted plants free, don't mash that potato
oh spare the spud! Eat a cow instead!

I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)
watching their skins being peeled (fates in the stir-fry are sealed)
grated and steamed with no mercy (you fat gourmet slob)
how do you think that feels (leave them out in the field)
Carrot juice constitutes murder (V8's genocide)
greenhouses prisons for slaves (yes, your composts are graves)
it's time to stop all this gardening (take up macrame)
let's call a spade a spade
(is a spade, is a spade, is a spade, is a spade......)

Power to the peas! Give peas a chance!
all we are saying, is give peas a chance