Questions to ask your partner

[Hime]

Originally Posted by Cicero

Read my previous post Hime.

I read it. I would have assumed from it that you were ok with other people enjoying themselves however they wanted, except that you described yourself as a "prude," which to me means disapproving of the behavior of others.

[Cicero]

Nope.....being a prude myself has nothing to do with the behavior of others outside of comparison and contrast. Don't even start to go there.

[manephelien]

This list is may be a useful guide to start a discussion, but it's not the be-all and end-all of things. Besides, we really don't know what's going to happen in ten years' time. One of the spouses may be out of a job for a longer or shorter period, and that sure should put any thoughts about wanting to redo the bedroom every five years on hold.

Any discussion concerning children is incomplete unless you also discuss the alternative of a childless marriage. I certainly wouldn't want to marry a man if he only wanted me because of the kids I might give him (at 35 there's a distinct possibility it may be too late for me anyway).

[Razzmatazz13]

That brings up another point in the child discussion...would adoption be an option for you if you both wanted (but could not/did not want to physically have) children? Would you adopt only your race of child? another race? multiple children?

Originally Posted by manephelien

This list is may be a useful guide to start a discussion, but it's not the be-all and end-all of things.

I agree with that entirely. *nods* There's no way this should be your pass/fail checklist for the perfect lifemate.

Originally Posted by Hime

Confused -- do you not think it's acceptable for other couples to have sex that way? Or just that you don't want to do it?

I think that a lot of the questions are good things to know about, although if you're responsible and committed to each other you'll probably already have covered most of it. RK, your response strikes me as pretty naive -- women should just be happy to get married and not think about whether they'll be stuck with no money and all the chores after the big day?

I neither stated nor implied that.