Is it over?

[anonymousfornow]

I am here to give you guys an update. reread this thread and get some tlc.

When I began this thread, I called him on the carpet. forgave him, made a commitment to myself to trust, let it go and move on, everything has been spectacular and Friday he made a mistake and was caught again (now we are almost 2 years into it).

He has never stopped reaching out to women through personal ads. I dont know how many he has seen or what he has actually done. I knew this was a risk when i found out the first time, but I truly believed that the prospect of losing me scared him straight. I also believe that he loves me, and cannot imagine his life without me. We spend 6.5 days a week together. We maintain two homes in different counties and stay at one during the week and the other one on the weekend.

We even had conversation a month ago about our commitment to each other and building a life together so I could hear for myself that we were on the same page.

What hurts the most is I do not know why he does this. We have open lines of communication, a great sex life, etc.

I would like to hear from men on this. I am deeply in love and truly at a loss, why do some men do this? It is the sharpest pain I have ever felt. Help me understand.

I do not think I have done anything wrong, I do not think this is my fault, so this is not a self esteem problem for me. I am just deeply wounded and even more confused.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by anonymousfornow

snip~
I also believe that he loves me, and cannot imagine his life without me. We spend 6.5 days a week together. We maintain two homes in different counties and stay at one during the week and the other one on the weekend.

We even had conversation a month ago about our commitment to each other and building a life together so I could hear for myself that we were on the same page.

What hurts the most is I do not know why he does this. We have open lines of communication, a great sex life, etc.
~snip

Why should he even contemplate life without you? You've shown no to propensity to leave. You've even offered to compromise. He knows he's got you wrapped around his finger.

You say your sex life is great, meaning you're satisfied with it but it would appear he has different standards. I've had many people gush to me how good their life is, with their spouse in the background rolling their eyes.

Or what he's doing on the net he doesn't consider part of his sex life, but a game. Like any other online game, but winning by scoring pictures and proposals. Just a hobby without regard for the emotional toll on his supposedly significant other.

I think that you're probably weighing the possibility of just letting it slide. Weighing what you feel you have vs it's emotional toll.
Don't do it. While you might be able to rationalize the trade off now, there is no guarantee things won't change. It will always gnaw at you and more important, his needs will change.... probably not for the better.

I wish you well.

[anonymousfornow]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Why should he even contemplate life without you? You've shown no to propensity to leave. You've even offered to compromise. He knows he's got you wrapped around his finger.

You say your sex life is great, meaning you're satisfied with it but it would appear he has different standards. I've had many people gush to me how good their life is, with their spouse in the background rolling their eyes.

Or what he's doing on the net he doesn't consider part of his sex life, but a game. Like any other online game, but winning by scoring pictures and proposals. Just a hobby without regard for the emotional toll on his supposedly significant other.

I think that you're probably weighing the possibility of just letting it slide. Weighing what you feel you have vs it's emotional toll.
Don't do it. While you might be able to rationalize the trade off now, there is no guarantee things won't change. It will always gnaw at you and more important, his needs will change.... probably not for the better.

I wish you well.

I found out on Friday and he has been out of town all week working. i have not answered his calls since Tuesday(Monday I was weak) and it is quite difficult. I have tomorrow off so i plan to return his things and get mine before he gets back tomorrow night. I am doing something. Excuse my language ....but it just fucking sucks. I hate that I am in this position and he has forced me into it.

[LadyM]

Originally Posted by anonymousfornow

I found out on Friday and he has been out of town all week working. i have not answered his calls since Tuesday(Monday I was weak) and it is quite difficult. I have tomorrow off so i plan to return his things and get mine before he gets back tomorrow night. I am doing something. Excuse my language ....but it just fucking sucks. I hate that I am in this position and he has forced me into it.

This does suck. You have my absolute sympathy, and I give you kudos for DOING something about it. I made the mistake of letting a similar situation slide in a past relationship and it ended up completely destroying me. You'll be much better off this way.

[skysidhe]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

.... a game. Like any other game, but winning by scoring pictures and proposals. Just a hobby without regard for the emotional toll on his supposedly significant other.

speaks volumes