Jea-lousy

[bbro]

Well, since you asked, at this point in my life, I don't think I could do the whole poly thing. Don't have a problem with it really, but I know that my jealousy would definately get the best of me. I am kind of low on self-esteem and I would have all these scenerios happening in my head. I also don't think the current BF would like it if I was with other guys, either.

Even if I didn't have the jealousy, I don't know if I would be comfortable with the whole situation. I am not judging you in anyway, just my opinion. I tend to be slightly old-fashioned in my thoughts. (some not all)

I will say that the two different views that you and your wife have (you worried about the physical and her worried about the "spiritual" or mental connection) actually seems very appropriate to me. I am trying to think of why it does, but it's not coming right in my head. I think it is because sometimes women value the connection between two people rather than the physical. Like this one guy that wasn't the most attractive, but he was such a nice guy the more I talked to him, made that connection, the more I thought he actually was attractive. I want to say that men DO value the spiritual connection, but sometimes are worried about the physical aspect of it. I am thinking more along the lines of a certain person I know who thinks me getting off is one of the most important things. To me, it is the closeness that I like.

Am I making any sense?

[Elspode]

My wife has sort of a bifurcated point of view...when it is me, she doesn't care about the physical, except that it is a lack of appropriate physical attention that disturbs her...except that it is because she feels that it means I don't desire her.

Its all pretty damn confusing. And judge away. People do (not that you were).