internet hookups...

[MaggieL]

Met my current lifepartner over a decade ago online--back in the BBS days. We've been together now many years.

For this to work you do have to be a decent judge of character...both online and in real life. Meeting someone online isn't really all that much different, although you do work from a slightly different set of clues.

It's helpful not to be searching desparately, because that distorts your judgement horribly; you get into a state where you're willing to completely overlook the most obvious of warning signals.

The best finds happen when you're *not* looking.

[skysidhe]

Originally Posted by MaggieL

The best finds happen when you're *not* looking.

My whole outlook on people has been based on that simple little line. I meet the best people when I least expect it. They may be few and far inbetween but those couple that attach to me are best friends for life.


I met one person on line who became a real life friend. More than a friend a life peer, confident and someone that walked out of my hearts aching and manifest in the flesh. This is not a sexual relationship either.

There is one other too who is precious beyond compare to me as a friend but I let him down. I don't like to lose friends I've invested alot of time in.

I think 'what works' is to totally trust that the person is who they say they are. I did and he was exactly the same way he was in print. Exactly who he said he was as was I.

[MaggieL]

Originally Posted by skysidhe

I think 'what works' is to totally trust that the person is who they say they are.

I think there's a fair number of people out there who aren't who they say they are...in fact, they're not even who they think they are. But I also think they're fairly easy to spot...if you're getting a vibe that something's wrong, you're probably right.

Sucessfully maintaining the appearance of "something that is not so" is a massive amount of work, and the bigger the difference between apperance and reality the more work it is. Sooner or later it all breaks down, but you can often hear the creaking timbers of a failing framework long before the shit hits the fan.

That's where that "not searching desparately" thing comes in. If you rilly rilly want person ${X} to be The One, the easier it will be to allow yourself to overlook those warning signs of impending chaos.

[skysidhe]

Originally Posted by skysidhe
I think 'what works' is to totally trust that the person is who they say they are.

Originally Posted by MaggieL

I think there's a fair number of people out there who aren't who they say they are...in fact, they're not even who they think they are. But I also think they're fairly easy to spot...if you're getting a vibe that something's wrong, you're probably right.

Sucessfully maintaining the appearance of "something that is not so" is a massive amount of work, and the bigger the difference between apperance and reality the more work it is. Sooner or later it all breaks down, but you can often hear the creaking timbers of a failing framework long before the shit hits the fan.

I should have said I didn't trust him to come see me Until after 2 years of talking online, one year of talking off line via phone. There wasn't one inconsistency. I could marry my good feeling to logic.He wasn't saying one thing here and another there. That said we were to untimatly be dear friends, life peers and not lovers at all. I respect people where they are at so it's a win'win thing.

I get really confused online when people say things and act another. I would never meet a person like that. It just takes observation without thought and without the thoughts of others either to see the truth. Mixed vibes are pure torture.


I really appreciate not feeling anything at all.
but I appreciate more me not having to voice it outloud when I do feel like something is wrong.

[Elspode]

Originally Posted by MaggieL

Met my current lifepartner over a decade ago online--back in the BBS days.

Mrs. Elspode and I met on a BBS as well. We get along pretty well, I guess. Whatever the case, we're willing to tolerate each other enough to try and buy a house that costs twice as much as the one in which we're living. That must say *something* positive about us.