Merry F'in Christmas - I want a divorce.

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by warch

No matter how hard you try there is no logic to this stuff. No tidy cause and effect.
Kid is #1. Kid will always always be your family. Kid needs and loves you. Be your best strong, fair, loving, grownup Dad. Its a huge test.
Like you, the wife is an adult and responsible for her own happiness. You're not to blame for her discontent, she is.
Good luck, guy.

yeah, what warch said.

this really really sucks. for all of you that have your lives crumbling around you. or have had it happen. fuck that. it sucks that people are so selfish. no relationship is gonna be great all the time, and for her to drop out on you like this sucks big. why don't people have the fortitude to stick it out and work through problems? it's not like you're an abusive asshole who she needs to flee to survive. immature, if you ask me. too used to being single. this is like some early midlife crisis BS. i just don't get it. unless you just annoy her? but still.....she friggin married you. how annoying could you be? dude. main thing is....you gotta keep your chin up. don't let this change your self image. you are a succesful man. and good looking enough to get a new dame. it's a fucking shame that your wife is just like Prince's mother.....she's never satisfied......

folks have posted some good advice here for you. like stay in the house. if she wants to leave.....fuck her. go get some strange.

ok. ok. i'm a little buzzed and this has me pissed. you;re a nice guy, lookout. it's not right that you should get shit on by anyone, especially your wife.

i want you to do something for me tonight. wait until she's asleep.....get under the bed.....reach up and punch her in the mouth.....then duck back under the bed before she knows what's going on. play dumb in the morning......she must have hit herself. asshole.

[lookout123]

thanks for the words Jim (and everyone else), but i won't be punching her anytime soon.

we have started counseling so we'll see where it goes. I performed a level III gutcheck and came to the conclusion that this woman and this marriage is something worth fighting for. I may be sitting at the keyboard in 4 days/weeks/months/years crying about my failed marriage but i can't focus on the maybe's. if i do, i will eventually be crying about the "what if's". emotionally she is screwed up right now, and that is putting me through the wringer - but the reality is that she just happens to be the most incredible person i've ever met and i absolutely meant it when i said "for better or worse". this is the "worse" part. (hopefully, we haven't been to the better part yet).

I cannot control her actions or decisions. i can control mine. she may still leave me and opt for divorce, but until that time i will love her the best that i can, i will be the best husband that i can, and i will try to push/pull/drag us through this mess. those are my choices and actions that i am in control of. it is my choice to send up the white flag and pack my bags, to be bitter and spiteful, or to continue to love her the only way i know how. if i loved her with all my heart two weeks ago, why should i change who i am and what i do, just because she is confused and depressed?

there have already been - and will be many more - great days and horrible days. i'm in for an emotional roller coaster ride, and i don't know where this one is going to end, but...

wish me luck, -i'm going in.