Humor...I Need Humor...

[BigV]

Guy walks by the petshop and sees a sign: Parrot: $20. Wow he thinks, I've always wanted a parrot, this must be my lucky day! He walks in and sees the bird, an enormous brilliant macaw, beautiful plumage [/monty python], looks completely healthy, well behaved. So now that little voice that says "caveat emptor" prompts him to ask the petshop owner to explain why the low low price.

The petshop owner says that he's had a hard time placing the bird because he's and adult and a big one, not a cute little baby to be trained, etc.

The guy asks, "Can he talk?"

"Um, sure" says the petshop owner. Suspicious, like. Finally the petshop owner comes clean and confesses. "Yes, he can talk. But that the bird swears like a sailor, he can make Hells Angels cry, he swears for 10 minutes straight without repeating himself, and no one wants a bird that cusses loudly all the time."

Now the guy is torn. Is this the fatal flaw? Arrrrgh! Well, for $20 he decides to take a chance, they do the deal and the bird goes home with the guy.

A couple of weeks pass and the guy comes back to the petshop for some bird supplies. The owner is pleasantly surprised to see the man and not the bird and asks how things are going.

"Great, great, really great." says the guy.

"No problems with the, um, swearing?" asks the petshop owner.

"Well, at first it was cute and then it kind of got out of hand. So I told the bird that he needed to cool down."

"That worked? Cool down?"

"Yeah, sure. That is one really intelligent bird. Gentle as a lamb now."

Petshop owner deals with animals all the time and knows there's more to the story and when pressed the guy admits it.

"Actually, I put him in the freezer. After a minute or two of a helluva racket, he quieted down. I took him out and all was well after that."

"He stopped talking?!"

"No, he just calmly climbed onto my outstretched arm and said, 'Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on.'"

The petshop owner is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. so he asks "That's it?"

"Oh no," the guy replies "he did say one more thing: 'By the way, what did that chicken ever do to you?'"