Being a kid

[elSicomoro]

My mother and stepfather were pretty cool growing up. I think they did a good job of teaching me right and wrong, and about being my own person. They never pushed me to do things I didn't want to do, they just encouraged me.

My mom tends to knee-jerk a lot though. Jumps to conclusions very easily. I'm working on her though. ;)

My stepdad is pretty laid back for the most part. He used to yell a lot when I was a child, which I attribute to his alcoholism. He still drinks, but I would say it's more..."controlled."

Just before I moved out of my house (in '99), I was almost at boiling point with them. Lots of silly arguing...all of us wishing that I could move out.

Now, I think they feel guilty. The timeframe between me deciding to look for a job on the East Coast and me moving to Washington was a mere 3 weeks. I thought about it all thoroughly; it just happened rather fast. Completely caught them off guard. Now, they keep nudging Rho and I to move to St. Louis.

Oh, fuck no! I love St. Louis...it will always be my home. But there's a very good reason I left there--because I was bored with it. It was time to go...it wasn't because I wanted to get as far away from my 'rents, or anything like that. Not to mention, the reaction towards mixed couples out there is ummm...in need of some work.

That brings up another little quirk in my parents. I would call my parents "unintentioned racists." They had black friends, but would be quick to blame things on "those fucking niggers." This came to a head about 5 or so years ago. There was a gal that used to come into my bank that I was smitten with...she was black. I think there was some mutual interest, but it wound up going nowhere. Well, I happened to mention this to my mother, and she got kinda irritated by it. I was furious...there was no way in hell ANYONE was going to tell me who I could and could not date. And I think it finally hit home when I gently reminded my mother that we are Native American, which is considered a minority in this country.

After that, things were completely cool. They didn't shit a brick when I was engaged to Mimi (who is Hispanic), and they love Rho (who is black) to death.

I think now that my parents learn as much from me as I do from them...and in the end, that seems to be the ultimate reward from parenting.