Why Should I Care?

[BigV]

Originally Posted by Elspode

My father was a slut.
--snip--
I want to tell him that I'm better than he is. I want him to know that I have fought the battles that he ran from, and I am a better man for it all.

Is that wrong?

No.

In a few more, hell, no.

Having been terribly let down by your father, your motives sure seem to include a strong desire to vent your bitterness. That's understandable and probably healthy, but of course, I'm no analyst.

But as a father myself, I can think of nothing that I would rather hear from my son, than that he has become a better man than I. Speaking from my own perspective, that is my ultimate goal for my kids. I have a different balance of virtues and faults compared to your experience, but I can hardly ignore the breadth and depth of my mistakes and failures. As as I grow older, and my son grows older, there are more faults, and more time to reflect upon them. To hear of success in spite of all those errors would bring joy to my heart.

I am willing to speculate that you don't have that as your goal for seeking him and speaking to him. I would likewise be willing to speculate that your father would greet this news with a mixed reaction--soothed by your success and stung by your criticism of his faults.

But I don't think you're wrong to want to tell him.