Funny/Embarrassing things they say - Page 49

classicman · 03-25-2012, 01:00 PM

Quote:

"I will close my eyes, then no one else will be here."

Kinda defeats the purpose, no?
lol @ minifob.

Sundae · 03-25-2012, 02:00 PM

There is a theory that the more testosterone a woman's womb is subjected to, the more it reacts against it. Hence younger sons being obliged to go into the Church.

Uh-huh.
Max is gay.
He'll be doodle obsessed for life.

B-Tay · 03-25-2012, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae

There is a theory that the more testosterone a woman's womb is subjected to, the more it reacts against it. Hence younger sons being obliged to go into the Church.

Uh-huh.
Max is gay.
He'll be doodle obsessed for life.

I believe there was something on '60 Minutes' about this. They do not know why, but statistically the more boys a woman has, the newest boy has a much larger tendency to be gay than the previous - something I like to mention to my Dad who was the third boy born to Grandma.

limey · 03-25-2012, 02:13 PM

What about Ali's next one, then

!

Sundae · 03-25-2012, 02:16 PM

She'll be okay.

ZenGum · 03-25-2012, 06:11 PM

Quote:

"I will close my eyes, then no one else will be here."

Damn postmodernists.

footfootfoot · 03-25-2012, 07:36 PM

Quote:

I will close my eyes and think of England.

footfootfoot · 03-27-2012, 08:05 AM

This morning I sat down at the breakfast table and discovered that there was honey all over the chair as my newly washed jeans stuck in place when I tried to shift position.

I got up and said in a semi loud voice, “I am not happy.” Of course, I immediately thought of the joke about the guy who rear-ends a midget and I told it to the wife and kids while they were eating breakfast.

Me: My (imaginary) friend, Jim Helm, was driving his car to work and he rear-ended a guy. They guy stops his car, gets out and Jim sees that the guy is a dwarf. The guy marches up to Jim’s car, looking furious. Enraged, he shouts “I AM NOT HAPPY.” Jim looks at him and asks, “OK, then which one are you?”

Wife: (Mostly to the children as she knows I am a lost cause) We shouldn’t mock the afflicted. It isn’t easy to be a dwarf.

Me: (Thinking) Oh I don’t know, I bet it comes naturally to them…

I can see the wheels turning in son’s head, but still no light coming on.

Wife: In the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves the dwarves all have names, one of them is named Happy, at least in the Disney version.

Me: They had names like, Happy, Goofy, Sneezey, Sleepy, Grumpy…

Daughter: (helpfully) Maybe then the one your friend hit was Grumpy.

infinite monkey · 03-27-2012, 08:08 AM

Ha! Your kids have your sense of humor. BRAVO!

footfootfoot · 03-27-2012, 08:13 AM

It's true, though the daughter is still young enough that she thought it really happened and that the dwarf must have been Grumpy.

infinite monkey · 03-27-2012, 08:15 AM

Ahhh, but that's a clever mind at work. My youngest niece is (of course) getting older but her responses, while innocent enough, were indicative of the great sense of humor that was to come. She might not have known exactly why it was the perfect response, but the perfect response it was!

B-Tay · 03-27-2012, 10:04 AM

I thought it was interesting to hear my son, when he was about 3, refer to a black/African American person in his preschool as having a "chocolate face".

It makes sense, since "black" is literally incorrect, since nobody is that color, and for some reason he did not associate "brown", he used chocolate. At first I thought "Is that offensive"? and then thought "this is actually quite a pleasant term. Everyone loves chocolate".

He also referred to C3PO as "that belly-button guy" back then.

BigV · 03-27-2012, 10:10 AM

Yeah, tha's nice and all... No jokes about "your sweet ass" or "stick with me, honey" or "tickle him now while he can't move!"?

Griff · 03-31-2012, 12:28 PM

Lil Griff was sitting in with some pro-musicians for a production of Godspell. One of her guy friends made a crack about the atheist kid bringing some needed ironic drumming to the show giving Satan a leg up. The band director, who is beloved by all the kids, was on bass and misheard the remark as erotic drumming and playfully smacked the kid in the head. Lil Griff's friends are now calling her the erotic drummer.

ZenGum · 03-31-2012, 06:16 PM

Erotic drummer? Does she have a sex cymbal?

03-25-2012, 02:00 PM	#2
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	There is a theory that the more testosterone a woman's womb is subjected to, the more it reacts against it. Hence younger sons being obliged to go into the Church. Uh-huh. Max is gay. He'll be doodle obsessed for life. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

03-25-2012, 02:13 PM	#4
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	What about Ali's next one, then ! __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

03-25-2012, 02:16 PM	#5
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	She'll be okay. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

03-27-2012, 08:05 AM	#8
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	This morning I sat down at the breakfast table and discovered that there was honey all over the chair as my newly washed jeans stuck in place when I tried to shift position. I got up and said in a semi loud voice, “I am not happy.” Of course, I immediately thought of the joke about the guy who rear-ends a midget and I told it to the wife and kids while they were eating breakfast. Me: My (imaginary) friend, Jim Helm, was driving his car to work and he rear-ended a guy. They guy stops his car, gets out and Jim sees that the guy is a dwarf. The guy marches up to Jim’s car, looking furious. Enraged, he shouts “I AM NOT HAPPY.” Jim looks at him and asks, “OK, then which one are you?” Wife: (Mostly to the children as she knows I am a lost cause) We shouldn’t mock the afflicted. It isn’t easy to be a dwarf. Me: (Thinking) Oh I don’t know, I bet it comes naturally to them… I can see the wheels turning in son’s head, but still no light coming on. Wife: In the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves the dwarves all have names, one of them is named Happy, at least in the Disney version. Me: They had names like, Happy, Goofy, Sneezey, Sleepy, Grumpy… Daughter: (helpfully) Maybe then the one your friend hit was Grumpy. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

03-27-2012, 08:13 AM	#10
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	It's true, though the daughter is still young enough that she thought it really happened and that the dwarf must have been Grumpy. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

03-27-2012, 08:08 AM	#9
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Ha! Your kids have your sense of humor. BRAVO!

03-27-2012, 08:15 AM	#11
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Ahhh, but that's a clever mind at work. My youngest niece is (of course) getting older but her responses, while innocent enough, were indicative of the great sense of humor that was to come. She might not have known exactly why it was the perfect response, but the perfect response it was!

03-27-2012, 10:04 AM	#12
B-Tay Non-Newbie Sort Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Foster City, CA Posts: 6	I thought it was interesting to hear my son, when he was about 3, refer to a black/African American person in his preschool as having a "chocolate face". It makes sense, since "black" is literally incorrect, since nobody is that color, and for some reason he did not associate "brown", he used chocolate. At first I thought "Is that offensive"? and then thought "this is actually quite a pleasant term. Everyone loves chocolate". He also referred to C3PO as "that belly-button guy" back then.

03-27-2012, 10:10 AM	#13
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Yeah, tha's nice and all... No jokes about "your sweet ass" or "stick with me, honey" or "tickle him now while he can't move!"? __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

03-31-2012, 12:28 PM	#14
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Lil Griff was sitting in with some pro-musicians for a production of Godspell. One of her guy friends made a crack about the atheist kid bringing some needed ironic drumming to the show giving Satan a leg up. The band director, who is beloved by all the kids, was on bass and misheard the remark as erotic drumming and playfully smacked the kid in the head. Lil Griff's friends are now calling her the erotic drummer. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

03-31-2012, 06:16 PM	#15
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Erotic drummer? Does she have a sex cymbal? __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

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