A Yuletide Tragedy

[garnet]

Wow. I can't imagine how horrible this must be for you all. I'd run into a couple "rough spots" in my little world lately, and knowing that I won't be able to see my family for Christmas was making it all the worse. Compared to what Conner's mother is going through right know, my life is pretty rosy. I can't imagine survivng what she is having to go through. Conner and his extended, loving family will be in my prayers. I'm so sorry.

[Pie]

My thoughts are definitely with Connor's family, El.

I have a question, though, and I hope this won't bother anyone -- has organ donation been considered by his family? Wouldn't that be a fitting legacy for such a wonderfully energetic little boy? Oddly enough, it may also make his passing faster and more peaceful.

I hope I'm not out of line here. Again, my heartfelt condolences to his family and the entire community.

- Pie

[limey]

I have been following this thread and simply do not know what to say. I have no maternal instincts whatever, but feel very strongly that the worst tragedy anyone can suffer is for a mother to lose her child. My thoughts are with the family, and with you and your wife, Elspode, at this awful time.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by Pie

My thoughts are definitely with Connor's family, El.

I have a question, though, and I hope this won't bother anyone -- has organ donation been considered by his family? Wouldn't that be a fitting legacy for such a wonderfully energetic little boy? Oddly enough, it may also make his passing faster and more peaceful.

I hope I'm not out of line here. Again, my heartfelt condolences to his family and the entire community.

- Pie

I don't think so, not at all.

[Griff]

Thanks for sharing that Els. We need to remember that for lots of folks the holidays will never be what the could be and we need to cut folks some slack when they don't display any Christmas "spirit". I received a nice greeting from an old aquaintance who was concerned for our first Christmas without Mom. It's those little gestures that make us human. Your gift for expressing humanity is marvelous.

[Elspode]

My mother died two days after her 56th birthday, in May of 1992. It was only when Christmas came that year, and I was placing an old family ornament on the tree, that the full import of her absence struck me. It was the first Christmas I'd ever had without my mom, and the whole concept was a bit overwhelming.

We mark our lives by such events. It is a measure of each turn of The Wheel, as reckoned by the ancients, and we humans attach significance to these dates in order to have some grasp of the flow of Time and our place in it. Family gatherings become touchstones, points in our memories, something to grasp and cling to as the inexorable river of time flows past and around us.

Wolf, that is truly a great piece. Every time I hear it, it gives me comfort with its great truth.

[Elspode]

Pie, I apologize...I've sort of overlooked your question, and I meant to answer it.

The issue of organ donation was never raised by the hospital staff. I can only assume that the extensive period of oxygen deprivation that Connor suffered made the possibility of harvesting his organs untenable.

My wife was with Pamela during every consultation that the doctors and staff had with her regarding Connor's condition and disconnection from support. The topic was simply not broached. The only explanation that I can conceive is that they knew that the organs weren't going to be viable, and so they were sensitive enough to simply leave the topic out of things.

Connor survived less than two hours after support was removed, and so I believe that his organs were indeed very, very compromised.

I am certain that Pamela would have consented had it been a possibility.