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12-29-2019, 08:40 PM | #1 |
Goon Squad Leader
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
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We need to talk.
We need to talk about your your headlights.
Those bright, super bright, area effect highway weapons--completely unnecessary. You know the ones with the their eleventy-thousand kelvin color temperature, blazing, no, "bathing" everything in their soft x-ray glow, until you hit the gamma-ray high beams. You think they let you see better, but that's only because they've vaporized everything in the beam pattern up to half a mile. They render everything in the mid distance transparent so you can see the trees on the peaks of the mountains in the distance glare garishly neon orange and ultraviolent. You literally can't see over the horizon. Why do you have lights that can be seen from space? If I'm casting a shadow, a shadow of my own car, in my own headlights, we have a problem. I have a problem. You're the problem. You're a hazard to navigation. You think they make you safer, but are you really safer driving on the road when all the other drivers are blind? I'm not talking about your bar lamps, your side lights, your Michigan markers, your fog lights, your driving lights, your fuck me? no, fuck you lights, not to mention the Project SETI uplink carrier beam monsters on the roof rack, I don't care if Luxor Hotel was having a sale--it's just too much. If they were just sanitizing the pavement, even as high as the beltline of my car, it would be ok. But they shine up into my eyes, into my mirrors--Problem. Maybe you're towing your trailer and it tips the back down and the front up. Maybe you just like driving around with your brights on. Maybe you're driving one of those giant trucks to compensate for... well, we all know you have a two-inch penis. Why shine a light on it? Everything is so bright around you. Is it the lights or that you're just so dim. Kill the lights before you kill someone else.
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Be Just and Fear Not. |
12-29-2019, 08:51 PM | #2 |
I love it when a plan comes together.
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,793
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I wear my sunglasses at night
I wear my sunglasses at night I say it to you now I wear my sunglasses at night I wear my sunglasses at night I wear my sunglasses at night I cry to you I wear my sunglasses at night I wear my sunglasses at night |
12-29-2019, 08:54 PM | #3 |
Goon Squad Leader
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
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Lose the lights *and* the sunglasses and all will be well.
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Be Just and Fear Not. |
12-29-2019, 09:18 PM | #4 |
I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
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What are Michigan markers?
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
12-29-2019, 09:59 PM | #5 |
The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
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The newer GMC and Chevy trucks are by far the worst offenders. I stopped in the road for a too-bright-lights asshole who turned out to be a deputy in a pick-up, who hit the blues walked up and asked me what the problem was. I told him there was an asshole behind me with lights that were waaaay too goddamned bright. He walked back to his truck and drove around me. Won't stand for them (those super-bright-even-on-dim-lights) behind me or in front of me, I'll stop in the road and let them go by. I will sue the life out of the fellow that causes me to run off the road with his bright as fuck lights, cause I'm not going off my side of the road...I just need to figure how to hit a 7,500 plus pound truck and live through it.
Cocksucking bastards, every one of 'em.
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These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
12-29-2019, 10:04 PM | #6 |
I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
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Grav, don't be shy, tell us how you really feel....
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
12-29-2019, 10:11 PM | #7 |
The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
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These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
12-29-2019, 10:15 PM | #8 |
Goon Squad Leader
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
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__________________
Be Just and Fear Not. |
12-29-2019, 10:56 PM | #9 |
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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Jacked up trucks are all offenders. They weren't designed to have the lights that high and there's a good chance they can't be adjusted so the driver can see and not blind you.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
12-30-2019, 07:47 AM | #10 |
still says videotape
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
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The fuckers always seem to add a light bar as well.
I hit the high beams on them so both of us will be blind.
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If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis |
12-30-2019, 08:19 AM | #11 |
™
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
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I think that since virtually all new cars today have the automatic headlights, people just ignore the controls. They turn their high beams on one day and don’t realize they have left them on.
Similarly, I see a larger number of cars driving around with lights off than I used to. I assume they are second cars, and the driver is used to the lights turning themselves on, and they don’t notice they are driving the old car. It’s probably only a city thing though. Basically, people are not paying attention, plus some people are installing extra lights because they are maroons. |
12-30-2019, 08:55 AM | #12 |
Weaponized Funk
Join Date: Nov 2019
Location: Arizona
Posts: 446
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People who drive lifted trucks often have other bad habits.
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Finagle's Law takes no prisoners. |
12-30-2019, 12:04 PM | #13 |
I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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My jeep is lifted. I adjusted my lights a bit. It's only a 2½" lift, but if I accelerate behind you, they do shine up into the rearview mirror.
I also have other bad habits
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12-30-2019, 12:15 PM | #14 | |
Weaponized Funk
Join Date: Nov 2019
Location: Arizona
Posts: 446
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Quote:
No, I am specifically talking about pick up trucks. The only purpose for having it lifted is the same as having a "dually". To block people behind you from seeing upcoming hazards.
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Finagle's Law takes no prisoners. |
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12-30-2019, 01:11 PM | #15 |
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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Now now duallys a great help and safer when you're towing a 20,000 lb gooseneck. Doesn't everyone have one of those?
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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