What is pissing you off this time?

[orthodoc]

I can't do this anymore. I can't tolerate a narcissistic abusive mother who loses no opportunity to play games and inflict pain on her adult children.

Who, when she's in hospital with a fracture, has the presence of mind to verbally pin one daughter to the wall in order to get information she wants, and then pretends to a second daughter (me) that she knows nothing and is just wondering about ... the exact situation. So that she can see whether I will lie or tell the truth.

I opted for the third choice, i.e. not to discuss the topic at all. But knowing that she bullied my younger sister into admitting things that were NONE of her business, and then called me up to see if she could catch me in a lie ... I am furious.

This is bumming my stone, scorching my groove, and pissing me off hugely tonight. I have to go to bed and get enough rest to be able to safely drive 5 hours south tomorrow, and at the moment I can't imagine getting to sleep.

After a lifetime of abuse I am triggered by almost any interaction with her. Honestly, by any and every interaction with her, because she's so oblivious in her narcissism that she never lets up. There's always a flick of the lash or a beating with a 2x4.

Right now, she's been on a search and destroy mission to know whether any of us were going to celebrate my father's 80th birthday with him. They've been divorced 20+ years, after 33 years of her abusing him and all of us kids (physically, verbally, mentally, emotionally). She has no right to know anything about him, but she's managed, through her lawyer, to find his address and send him malicious letters that salted certain wounds from the past. Now she's threatening to make legal trouble over his stay with us.

I cannot do this anymore. I always said I'd stay in touch no matter how obnoxious or toxic she was, and ensure that she wasn't in need - because she's my mother. I've stayed in touch directly, even when it was detrimental to me and my family. I've continued contact after she threatened legal action to assert her 'grandparental rights' to partial custody of my daughter (when we lived in Ontario. A family law attorney told me that she could indeed win partial custody there; and even if we moved back to the US, if she were determined, she could have a sheriff pick up our daughter and remove her back to Canada as the court dictated).

I think it's time I closed this chapter. I can't do this anymore.