"She", not "he", guys

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by classicman

And Ibs post before that wasn't attacking Henry?

That depends on how you define 'attack' and whether that definition also includes responding to another's attack.

It's also on a very different level. Calling someone names and swearing at them is a very different thing to calling into question their whole sense of self.

Let's face it, it isn't exactly an uncommon feature of bullying to provoke the subject of it into retaliation and then let everybody blame them for 'attacking' or starting trouble.
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They are both adults and can handle themselves. Let them work it out.
Sooner or later one will rise above and stop. (hopefully)

I sort of agree. But one is significantly younger than the other and has openly spoken of struggling with body dysmorphia. This kind of shit is not helpful. And yes, Ibbs walks into it sometimes. But I remember 21. For all the strident, self-righteous certainty I expressed and indeed felt, at another level I was only just an adult and self-certainty was new and fragile.

Ibbs can absolutely handle herself. But that doesn't mean there isn't damage dealt along the way. And no amount of insults to Henry can offer the same potential for hurt and harm as his denial of Ibb's sense of self might.

Ok. You're right though. I am not making things better. And we are going round in circles anyway.