Goodnight my little wolf

[DanaC]

*smiles* Jackson's a total cutie pie. Not to minimize the antics in anyway I know you've had hair tearing out moments with him lol. But he is totally adorable.

I changed the desktop pic of Pilau on my computer. I used to have the one of him balancing a biscuit on his nose and looking right into the camera with a long suffering expression on his face *grins* Poor lamb, he was willing as long as there was shape biscuit in the offing :p

Instead I have one of him recumbent on the sofa, with his paws lifted a little up because he wants his tummy rubbed. He looks utterly relaxed and happy and sure of his spot. Which is how I want to remember him. Silly I know, but it's nice having him there. And every so often I blow him a kiss like I used to when he was lay on the sofa and I was on my computer.

And that's that. A new year, without my little wolf. But also a new year with a different little wolf to raise at some point. Don't know when. I veer between urgent need and not wanting at all. Ya know how it goes. I never want to replace him. He is irreplacable. But he can't be the dog in my life anymore. It's like I have two separate but connected needs. I 'need' Pilau. And i can't quite get my head around the fact he's gone. But I also 'need' a dog. The first need can't be fulfilled. And it will fade as reality starts to set in and things normalize around me. But the second need I can fulfil.

And I look forward (when I am able) to posting pics of a new puppy. And vids of play sessions....and all that jazz.