NO it's OBVIOUSLY about ME

[Undertoad]

As your Supreme Final Arbiter, clearly this place was invented so that I could get all the interest of everybody, and your initial buy-in.

I am now announcing Cellar Phase VI, in which we are going to gather at a location I will soon announce, to create both a wonder that the world cannot imagine... and a catastrophe that it cannot bear. A work of art of unimaginable beauty... and a horror of deeply retched proportions.

I know that I can trust YOU, my brethren and sistren, to keep our secret concealed until the last possible, "final" moments. To begin the process, I will need one of your largest toenail clippings, in a small envelope. We will employ your DNA to produce your clear and unique last and superior message which we will deliver at the appointed time.

Those of you who have recently transgressed, you will have received private messages explaining why your posts were unworthy. You will have to consume, and at the same time BE consumed, by our final message, and not be a part of its creation. But you will already have received the gift of Understanding, and will experience the remainder of your days in a state of contentment.

Thank you, and let the procedure operate smoothly.