Death/Funeral Etiquette Advice, please

[Sundae]

The other day Mum received a Thank You prayer card after she attended a funeral.
She immediately put that on the list of things I have to do when she dies.

This is going to be a very formal occasion.

I have written instructions already to:
Notify the local papers (Family Notices section, not the news desk obviously)
Contact everyone in her address book (all labelled as to their relationship to my parents ie ex work colleague, Ambulance, old school friend, second cousin etc)
Arrange the Mass with the songs and readings already decided on, as well as present the eulogy
Thank everyone personally as they leave the church
Make sure there is a Book of Condolence so I know who to write to
Host the wake - PROPERLY! - which includes making sure everyone knows in advance when and where it is and sending people directions
Again speak to everyone at the wake so they feel comfortable and comforted
Send out prayer cards afterwards
Have a Mass said every year in memorium
With a notice in the paper of course
Oh and tend the "graves" (cremation marker)

If Dad dies first I get to do all of the above at Mum's side. If it's Mum first I will need to be the organiser.
She thinks my sister will fall apart (because she cries at funerals) and my brother does not value ceremony enough.

Funny to be seen as the responsible one only in the event of death.